MKR – Mon, Feb 22

It’s Fassnidge time! Finally.

Time to make some TV money.

Time to make some TV money.

We’re in country Victoria at the newly built home of Eve and Jason, “Vic Soulmates”, and oh my lordy those mutton chops are hideous but she loves them – so, ok, they are perfectly suited. They are eco hippie tree changer types who believe in real food.
Looks like they live about an hour from the nearest Coles, so let’s hope they got everything on the list.

The Fassnidge is in the house! And bragging his team won last year. Who was that again? Oh, yeah, these Poms:

A distant memory.

A distant memory.

Hippies’ menu
Entree: Herb-crusted rainbow trout in fish broth (Colin notes he wants mellow hairbs).
Main: Mediterranean rolled leg of lamb with roast vegetables.
Dessert: Stout and chocolate pudding.

And, yes, finally someone who buys decent 70 per cent dark chocolate for their dessert – Zana, take note.
Back home they set up the restaurant “Bread and Brew” in a shed away from the house, so it could be tricky walking plates across the rocky ground from their new kitchen.
Eve gets on to the lamb but somewhat scarily announces she is not really familiar yet with her new, albeit lovely and huge oven.
They need stock for their sauce using lamb bones, which could be rather fatty, so this could come back to bite them.
The Soulmates (sounds jazzier than plain old Married, I guess) are painstakingly boning the trout.
Here come the other guests; more people for us to meet and forget. They are impressed with the home brew setup in the dining shed except one woman, Dee (the one in the cutesy dress with Peter Pan collar) who hates beer. I sympathise – not a fan myself.
We meet the other teams: Hazel and Lisa, stepmum and stepdaughter – not sure which is which. Hazel is the mum, I think. Their penchant for dressing alike is disturbing.

Spot the stepmum.

Spot the stepmum.

Mike and Bloke Whose Name I Didn’t Catch, but he’s a professional golfer, are father and son, from north of Cairns. Looks like they will be good at seafood.
Adelaide’s Carmine and Lauren are the Plus One and Zana of this round, but Carmine actually gets to speak: “If you’re Italian and you’re not a good cook, there’s something wrong.”

New Zana and Plus One 2.0

New Zana and Plus One 2.0

Turns out dads Chris and Cookie from Newcastle have known each other since they were sprogs.

Dads.

Dads.

Dee and the bespectacled Tim are from Sydney and are recently married, and you can tell they are on the show because she wanted to do it. She’s the new villain.
The Fassnidge rocks up and he has a surprise guest with him from the UK – what’s the bet the guests were thinking it was Jamie or Heston? But, as we at home have known for ages, it’s Rachel Khoo looking fabulous in her yellow-and-white striped dress. (To find out more about what she’s wearing, go to http://khoollect.com/lifestyle/rachel-khoos-australian-fashion-picks/)
Will the guests know who she is?

Hazel at least recognises the “amazeballs” Rachel – the seating plan is no accident, it seems.

Golfer’s name flashes on the screen and it’s Tarq – presumably short for Tarquin so no wonder he shortens it.

We know your name is really Tarquin.

We know your name is really Tarquin.

In the kitchen the Soulmates are taking the fish out of the oven and placing it in a bowl (how cute was that vintage-look crockery) of broth, topped with some crispy skin. Yum!

Chew time … Rachel likes the different textures but says the crust “smothered” the fish, which is slightly overcooked. Colin, who’s a big nose-to-tail man, applauds their clever use of the fish, the bones and the skin, but says the oat crumb sucked up some moisture from the fish and the use of rosemary was a bad call. Perhaps they didn’t have dill in their garden?
Still, they’ve done pretty well, being first up and cooking tricky rainbow trout.
Dee and new Zana are the most critical at the table but it’s the first night so everyone is still polite.

Back in the kitchen Hippie Chick checks on the lamb and it’s very overcooked. Well, she did say she was putting it on for three hours. They need a meat thermometer. So in addition to crimes against fashion and facial hair we have crimes against lamb. It’s hard to hate on them, though, when they seem so relatively normal and drama free. What are they doing on MKR? Oh yeah, this hair:

Sir, there's a Tribble climbing your neck.

Sir, there’s a Tribble climbing your neck.

At the table talk turns to how food evokes memories, and Cookie tears up a little because he is missing his kids … awwww. Colin has a chat with him and this is the sort of thing we miss in earlier rounds because Pete and Manu get whisked away between courses.
Poor Soulmates are stressed because their lamb is literally stuffed and now their roast veg isn’t cooking quickly enough in their untried oven. Finally they take their hearty serves to the table and Dee is right when she questions calling the dish Mediterranean. The veg is definitely old school Aussie. Must be some sundried tomato or olives in the stuffing.

Chew o’clock … the judges have been given the pinkest lamb. Rachel liked the generosity of the plating but wanted more stuffing and actual Mediterranean veg. Colin says they have good products but bad time management. He praises their sauce.
The guests agree the lamb was overcooked but they feel for the team. Dee is clear that she hated everything, especially parsnip. She said earlier she is Spanish, so maybe she’s never tried it before.
In the kitchen Hippie Dude is in charge of dessert and I’m worried because he keeps saying how well everything is going.
At least they do a taste test.
It looks very simple – maybe they should have done an ice cream with it.

Chew time … Colin is happy with the dark choc and ooze, but wanted more booze. Rachel likes the simplicity of the presentation but hers was a little under, yet still tasty.
Most people at the table enjoy it but new villain Dee finds it too rich. Luckily she instead enjoys correcting hubby on the use of cooking show terminology by telling him to say the cream “cuts through” the richness.

Dee will chop off hubby's man parts if he speaks too much.

Dee will chop off hubby’s man parts if he speaks too much.

The scores
Teams: Devious Dee and Hubby 5; Step Twins 4; Dad Mates 6; Father and Golfer 5; New Zana and Plus One 2.0 6. Some tough scorers in this group – the other rounds were much softer on the first-up cooks.

Judges: Entree Colin 5 (but he actually says quite nice things), Rachel 6; Main Colin 3, Rachel 4; Dessert Colin 7, Rachel 8 (and a good tip from her to chill the batter in the ramekins first).
Total: 59.

Next week it’s Carmine and Lauren and we get the teaser of Dee pulling faces and telling the camera “it’s murder … This dish belonged in the bin.” Ooh, drama, drama, drama.



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35 Comments

  1. Can you tell that this is first that the middle-aged hipsters have cooked in their kitchen? I think I missed the part where they mentioned it the first million times.

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  2. I love Colin, but I am stoked that Rachel Koo is a judge now….I love her show and was lucky to get one of her cookbooks for a birthday present.
    The first couple…Eve and big sideburns…I am not sure about thier food yet..but will wait until dessert….as if they do a great dessert they will be OK.. I am one of those people who looks at the dessert menu before anything else.

  3. I missed the end of last nights/start of tonight’s ep. Is it seriously 6 new teams??
    Or 3 new ones and the bottom three from the first two round?

  4. Eve and Jason seem like nice enough people, but Jason’s chops? No. Just, flat no. I know this makes me a little judgemental, but flat no.

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    • Those chops are fine….if you’re living in Charles Dickens’ times. But it’s wrong in 2016.

      Dee isn’t the happy wife, more the bitchy wife, lots of strife journey.

      • Dee does seem like a very alpha personality, doesn’t she? The second her husband began by saying, “Happy wife,” I couldn’t help the thought, “You signed your testicles over to her on your wedding day, didn’t you?”

  5. The standard of cooking so far is not great. In the old days I used to download the recipes and saved them or try to replicate them. So far, none that I am interested in.

  6. I really like to hear Rachel giving advise and constructive criticism. Not trying the new oven out is a big mistake.

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    • I was half thinking of watching this one, Juz, but thanks to your recap I don’t need to. Great work as usual, and thank you!

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  7. I just made the fundamental mistake of telling Mr R I voted in the poll to have Colin at my/our dinner table. When I read him out the alternatives, I really thought that for the first time in nearly 35 years he was going to throw something at me. Something large and heavy! You see the man is deeply in love with Rachel Khoo… Oh, and I didn’t tell him she was on tonight’s episode either. Ssh, please don’t tell him either. I wish to maintain a reasonably happy state of matrimony for a while longer.
    Once he forgives me for my tiny error with the poll. 😆

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