MKR – Scream Queen sisters cook

I am desperately trying to get the subtitles to work on my tellie for tonight’s My Kitchen Rules episode, but apparently they are not supported. I am actually going to have to listen to Kelsey and Amanda talk.

The older one says she’s a makeup seller and mum, the younger banker (what does that actually mean, these days?) and mum, but neither seems able to count. They are buying 10 cartons of eggs. What are they making that needs 120 eggs? Pasta and pavlova?

Entree is ricotta and spinach ravioli with saffron burnt butter. Yum. But will it be a single giant rav, as per the last season of MasterChef?
Main is snapper with mash and lemon and chive soz.
They describe their rainbow bright instant restaurant as “a kids’ party for adults” and Eric Idle singing Always Look on the Bright Side of Life plays. I’m tempted to turn it off now and just rewatch Life of Brian.
Dessert is chocolate fondant with berry coulis. Will they have oozy centres? They are doing caramel ice cream to go with it, so it will be super duper sweet. As Manu says, just cream or creme fraiche would do. I’d go even sourer and say Greek yoghurt.
Kelsey wants her coulis to have “arse-city”. I’d like to see that. And her Pop’s pasta is “uncredible”. Hmm – how much money is this woman allowed to handle?
Her pasta sheets are looking good at least.
At the table the other teams are getting to know the brothers who cooked last night. Accountant Albert reveals he can play the xylophone and Della and Tully think he’s the most adorkable man they’ve ever seen (I’m liking these two – I really hope they can cook).


Deckhand reveals he has a side career as a model.
Amanda decides to puree the pasta filling instead of the usual fine chopping – nooooo! They will be bagged out for lack of texture.


Here are Pete and Manu and luckily Manu is back in his usual tablecloth jacket. He shrinks away as the girls open the door and a wall of noise hits him. He looks somewhat stunned, sitting at the head of the table, trying to take in what the girls are saying.
Physio Matt and “I’m a stylist on the side” react to the menu with the comment they don’t have a lot of carbs in their house. Yep, they are definitely the villains.
The entree looks good but we didn’t see the girls taste anything; hopefully it was just cut from the edit. Will the pasta be cooked?

ENTREE IS SERVED
Pete says it was all perfect. I was wrong about the filling being like baby food. As Manu says, burnt butter is always a winner.
Physio Matt tells the table that the Deckhand Model’s wife is punching above her weight. What the hell, Matt? He later tells the camera there are “too many feminists” at the table – note he didn’t say that to anyone’s face, although wife Alyce doesn’t not sock him one.

Pete pops into the kitchen to discover the girls’ “olive paste” is a tapenade. They’ve never heard the term but try, amusingly, to bluff their way through.
At the table, Alyce mentions she may struggle with the snapper as she has trouble with fish and “I tend to bring it back up”. Will this be an MKR first – vomiting at the table? If so, please do it in your husband’s lap. Why enter a cooking comp if you can’t eat seafood for what appears to be purely psychological reasons?
It’s good to see the girls have thought so much about their presentation but there is not much fish for a lot of soz (another buttery soz) and the skin isn’t crispy. Still, they didn’t crucify it like the WA Flirt and Pale One did.

MAIN IS SERVED

Pete pretends he doesn’t like it to see if the girls will make excuses but they stand firm. He and Manu both loved it, even though it wasn’t crispy skinned. It was a bit salty with the seasoned skin plus the tapenade. Time for a celebratory scream in the kitchen and the producers make them sing “Sisters are Doing It for Themselves”.
Deckhand got some scales and on his and he and some others found it overly salty.

In the kitchen the girls love their super sweet caramel ice cream but their fondants aren’t cooking evenly.

DESSERT IS SERVED
And it appears their centres are suitably oozy. Pete says the fondant is the best they’ve had in the comp, he loved the coulis but the ice cream was too sweet.

THE SCORES
Teams

Duncan and Court (no tears tonight!): 9
Brothers: 9 (what nice fellows they are)
Della and Tully: 8
Deckhand Model and Mrs Deckhand Model: 8
Tool and Mrs Tool: 7

Judges
Entree Pete 10, Manu 10 The girls go berserk with joy
Main Pete 9, Manu 8
Dessert Pete 9 Manu 8 (seems a bit high given the ice cream wasn’t suitable but you can tell they like the girls)
Total 95/100
Hooray – a team who can cook. So glad they weren’t cast just to be characters. Let’s see if they know other cuisines as well.

TOMORROW NIGHT
Crying Court and Beardo Duncan Cook.



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27 Comments

  1. The sisters are really lovely people, and they’re clearly talented with creating beautiful food (that ravioli entree *looked* amazing, I can’t imagine how good it must’ve been to eat), but my gosh. They’re very, very loud, aren’t they?

  2. I can’t believe Matt said that. Someone said “knee to the groin”, I’d go with hatchet.

    Agree with other comments, very tempted to turn on sub-titles and turn off the sound.

    • I got the impression he was just shit-stirring. Both he and his wife both said earlier in the episode that they didn’t believe the Seafood King’s claims about his modeling career, which means the subtext is that he didn’t really even believe the crack about her.

      It was still a dick thing to say. Why would you say that about people you’re sitting around a dinner table with? It felt like that was his general contempt for the other contestants showing through, at least, that’s what I got.

      • A more responsible show would have offered them a voice coach, but they are clearly lovely people and great cooks.

        A more responsible show would offered Matt a sock to put in his mouth. I agree it should not have gone to air. I was impressed by the way Amy handled it.

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    • Yes – looks like MKR is back to creating a self- styled villain ‘monarch’ solely to rip the throne out from under them, burn the crown and stuff the sceptre up their clacka.

  3. Well, being on ‘roids will make a guy say things like that. Matt would have been eating a knuckle sandwich in some of the circles I’ve moved in.

    And truly Ch 7, it shouldn’t have gone to air. Batting Merrins in the decency department.

  4. Alyce is an attractive woman. You’d have to say that Matt, possibly the least attractive person at the table, is batting way above his merins. Alice is obviously also a woman of vast restraint.

  5. As ear numbing as the screeching is I certainly don’t dislike the sisters. And I’d love to eat their food, even if the caramel ice cream may have necessitated an insulin shot.
    Mind you, there was the faintest whiff of a dead (?) Pop wafting in the from the kitchen. I could be persuaded to mark them down for that in the future, if he pops in too much.
    I think roid man is primarily socially inept.
    The kind of loser who makes awkward comments because he is out of his depth sitting up at table and using cutlery. Mrs roid is just plain nasty.

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  6. I turned down the volume and had to fast forward through the screaming. The sisters’ voices are like nails across a chalkboard BUT they seem to be sweet and were organized and calm in the kitchen AND they can cook. Perhaps the producers will have someone step in and work with them on lowering the volume and adjusting their vocal pitch.
    I hope that the rude male fashionista/guy on steroids and the seafood king will not go far. Can’t believe someone would make a comment about others’ looks. So shallow and classless. Seafood king needs to cook blindfolded during his instant restaurant round. These guys need to be taken down several notches so I hope that they don’t do well in the kitchen and that their scores are low.

    • Some voice coaching would be great, because when they go into that high register they are really hard to understand. They obviously understand the basics of cooking – hooray!

  7. I had a mental picture of people all over the country, including me, trying to get tv subtitles to work last night. Fortunately the Screechies toned it down a bit while cooking, and they seem to know what they are doing in the kitchen. Mostly. What was meant to be done with umpteen dozen eggs? And fish skin is not pork crackling; the taste of heaps of salt does not disappear in bubbling fat. I think the judges scored the fish highly to shut down supercilious “seafood king”. I laughed out loud at Deckhand thinking he is so gorgeous. Wanker.

    Matt and Alyce are both churlish and totally lacking in social graces. He makes a rude comment about Mrs. Deckhand’s looks, then doesn’t have the decency to take it back and apologise when he is called out on it, but tries to pass it off as a joke. She talks about throwing up when she eats fish. And keeps talking about it – at the dinner table. They are a thoroughly unpleasant couple. MKR’s penchant for injecting drama into a cooking show is getting out of hand.

    • And don’t forget Von, their chocolate fondant is better than the sisters as well.
      I had never heard of that batting quote in my life but what an absolutely rude and uncalled for comment to make about anyone to their face. His partner didn’t even look embarrassed about it, shows what type of person she is.
      They kept saying they didn’t deliver on the plate but didn’t tell us what wasn’t delivered.
      I can’t stand these people that try to tell 1st class chefs what they woul do, as if they know better, another embarrassment.
      Bring it on fish boy, can’t wait for your night and steroids, put your money where your boring mouth is.

      • Yeah, their chocolate fondant is better because they use really,really good quality chocolate. Jeez, they are rude.

        We had never heard the batting with Merrins comment either, unless, it was some sort of bet among their friends to introduce it into the lexicon.

  8. Just watching it now, Alyce is jealous that no-one tapped her on the shoulder to be a model.

    Don’t think Kelsey and Amanda are the screaming bimbos they like to present.

    • Found something interesting about Alyse and husband. They got shortlisted for ‘The Block’ Seasons 8 & 9 and ‘Reno Rumble’ Season 2.

      Maybe the casting agent then got them onto MKR. Now I can see a big fail coming in their IR

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