MKR – What’s the cheating scandal?

So, what’s the fuss MKR is promo-ing the heck out of for tonight: bought bread, soz or curry paste?
Although Mr Tool (aka physio Matt) is not a fan or carbs, so bread seems unlikely. And it won’t be seafood due to Alyce’s regurgitation limitations.



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64 Comments

  1. Does anyone else just not really care, though? Like, if I gave half a damn about either of them, I’d be invested in this ‘storyline’, but truthfully, neither Mr Roid Rage nor Ms Vomit are remotely endearing, so truthfully, I couldn’t care less about either of them.

    What I’m really hoping from tonight is that Court stands up, walks around the the table, and delivers her foot into Josh’s shin. And then, on her next kick, she aims about two feet higher.

    *That* would make for some compelling television.

  2. What about the elephant in the room?

    The cheating that the producers and judges routinely do on this show.

    ie. As if by magic everyone manages to plate up just in time at MKR headquarters. Then there’s the misleading promos.

  3. Yep, MKR was so not their first choice of reality show…

    They should have watched the first two seasons of MC a bit more closely.

    Panna Cotta shows a lot of technique and demands respect? Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa

    • I loved the back-story for Roids and Vomit, where he was asking her opinion on crushing something on a cutting board. He asked, “How crushed do you want this?” and she replied, “Totally pulverised.”

      Like your testicles, I thought.

  4. As awful as I think Ms Vomit and Mr Roid Rage are …

    … I’m just gonna say it, I flat-out loved the Form Guide on the back of their menu. In particular, insulting Josh, to his face, in front of a room full of people, with a cheeky smile on her face the entire time. That got a big tick, from me. Like, I like them slightly more now.

    • I agree completely. The first episode of My Likability Rules could run like this:

      Voice of Pete from offstage: Welcome everyone to My Likability Rules with your host Manu!

      Manu enters from stage left clenching his hands together above his head. Audience goes wild. Pete enters from stage right dressed in traditional barrel girl costume.

      And who do we have tonight Pete?

      Well Many nights competitors on My Likability Rules are Braindead Tools Alyse and Matt!

      Alyse and Matt enter in matching gold lamé bikinis. Alyse throws a dagger at Josh and narrowly misses.

      Tully to Della: Bloody Josh! Did you see him deliberately duck that knife throw?

      Manu: And what are Alyse and Matt creating for us tonight Pete?

      Pete: Alyse and Matt are creating a boiled egg, Manu!

      Manu: Challenging!

      Alyse (quickly kicking Pete in his sensitive bits while Manu is distracted): Alyse, but its our own interpretation, Manu. We don’t use eggs!

      Manu: Challenging! Will there be soz?

      Della to Tully: Bloody Josh! Did you see he avoided that kick in the balls that was obviously meant for him!

      Pete: And now for the exciting part of tonight’s competition when Alyse and Matt tell Manu their life’s ambition!

      Matt: We believe in world peace, Manu!

      Audience goes wild with cheering and clapping.

      Alyse: If only we could all be nicer to one another, Manu! (takes out assault rifle and mass murders the other competitors)

      Court: (spending her last moments in tears) I could never approve someone like Josh who does strategic massacres! I am far too savvy!

      Albert and Dave: (grinning at each other as they show the audience their bullet proof vests) Our work here is done!

      Manu to paramedic: I don’t want a blood transfusion! Just give me soz!

      Alyse: (vomiting but not very convincingly) Bloody Josh! He know’s I throw up at the sight of blood!

  5. I made satay sauce last weekend. Funnily enough, I don’t recall curry paste being on the recipe. I just use the Everyday Gourmet recipe. Curry paste – quick version only takes a couple of minutes in blender. sigh…. Not a fan of Ayam brand red curry paste either.

  6. It feels acutely uncomfortable but I’m (ouch) not unsympathetic to Alyse and Matt.

    Contests have rulebooks. The rules allow prepared curry paste or they don’t. If the rules allow the stuff then the show shouldn’t be whipping up a drama about it.

    If the rules don’t allow curry paste then say so directly, score them 0 for the disqualified dish, and score down other dishes because of the time and stress they saved by using a banned ingredient.

    I assume the rulebook actually says nothing about banned ingredients (although it clearly should) so most of tonight was nonsense.

    Dang this stings)

  7. I actually don’t care that much about using paste as long as it ended up tasting great. But i’m clueless about why they thought curry paste + sprinkled nuts could magically = satay.
    The way they cooked the curry or meat or whatever it was – plain weird. Half stir fried, then stewed. Bizarre.

  8. Yeah, the fact they got their chili sauce from out of a jar is far less of a crime, to me, than throwing some beef bits onto a plate and calling it a satay. Manu seemed to think that was the far greater crime, and I’m inclined to agree with him.

    So that’s how many teams out of 12, for these first two rounds, who have no idea what they’re doing in a kitchen? Great job, channel 7 casting department. Great job.

    Tomorrow night, the Cashed-up Bogans versus the Seafood Wankers. Can we just eliminate them both, and bring back the flirty girls? I’d be okay with that.

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  9. Damn, that was hard to watch. Not because it was so dramatic or interesting, but because all the attention was focused on The Wankers and The Tools. Both couples are just so nasty, petty, and unlikeable that I kept wanting to turn the stupid show off.

    I’ve never served sang choy bau with lots of sauce, but the way I do it is not the way Manu likes it, which the Tools would know if they had ever watched MKR. I knew what the scandal was as soon as I saw them grab the jars. That crime would have been a non-event if they’d made a beef satay, instead of whatever that dish was. Again, “that’s the way we like it” didn’t fly.

    Pannacotta and biscotti – big whoop. It looked fine to me, although not exciting.

    Mr. Tool’s muscles get in the way of his chopping. Wonder if he flexes in front of a mirror every day.

    Is it only me, or did Wanker’s tooth gap seem to appear and disappear tonight?

    I hope you have time to do a re-cap tomorrow, Juz. I don’t know if I have the stamina to watch, with all the childish “burns”, and small-minded ugly remarks there are bound to be.

    • You’re right, though. Tonight’s endevour in Kitchen HQ is gonna be an excuse in petty bitchiness. I think I dislike the Wankers slightly more than the Tools, but whoever loses tonight, we all win.

      • I definitely dislike the Wankers more than the Roid and his faux fashionista wife. Every time King Jerk smirks I just want to wipe that off his face. I just wish they would pass on the cook off and eliminate the bottom two teams. This is really going to be a long drawn out season.
        At least, after the cook off, there will be a change in judges for a bit and I do like Colin.

        No surprise that the bottled curry paste was the issue. As soon as I saw that being purchased I knew that this would be the cause of the “cheating scandal”. Nothing satay about their main.

        Wonder if they got a few cooking lessons before they went on the show since it was not their original plan to be on MKR but on a different reality show.

        • It does look like Roids developed his technique for getting panna cotta out on to ze plate labouring on a building site. He made a fool of himself doing that……er, trying to do that.

          • I thought that was *hilarious*. I was waiting, just waiting, for him to lose his grip, and send the bowl of panna cotta flying across the room. I would’ve fallen off the couch laughing at that, I really think I would’ve.

      • I think I’ll skip the show tonight and just read Juz’s recap. No reason why we should all suffer.

        MKR think manufactured drama and faux enmity is the key to ratings. Guess again. We will be off in the jungle with faux celebs instead!

        Sorry Juz – but can you please take one for the team and do a recap?

        • Carson Kressley is much better entertainment than the culinary Green v Mundine like fiasco planned for tonight on MKR.

          The main event on Ch 7 is all about how long Roids can hold his shit together while the repulsive Josh continues to call Mrs Vomit a “snake” at every opportunity.

          I fully expect Roids and Vomit to win tonight because as Manu and Pete went to great pains to remind us last night~ “This is a cooking show”. Pig’s jowl it is.

          I’ll watch it, because the addiction to garbage is hard to break. ” It serves me right to suffer”, said John Lee Hooker.

          • Carson was the biggest personality of the original five Queer Eye guys (sorry, I hate that ‘q’ term and I’m gonna try my hardest not to use it ever again, even in normal conversation), because that was quite a few years ago and I barely remember the other four.

            I do remember Jay (was it?), the little pop culture guy. Only because my teenage self thought he was hot.

            But no, I’ll probably be watching the Clash of the Idiots and their simpering wives, tonight. At least, I’ll have it on in the background while I’m replying to messages and working on my latest short story, or something.

  10. Did anyone else notice how dirty the car looked when they were driving. Matt could have given it a bit of a wash, being such a perfectionist and all. That aside I did like them a bit tonight.

  11. Mrs Roid drove me crazy with her telling us how perfect she is at everything.
    How conceited, I can’t believe how she went on and on and on, she mad me want to vomit just listening to the bile that was coming out of her conceited mouth.
    They were pure ignorant to argue trying to say that was a satay dish. There is nothing wrong with being wrong, especially if you are man enough to stand up and admit to the fact, which sadly these two self absorbed ego maniacs weren’t.
    They deserved the big fail.

    I really cannot pick which team I dislike the most, it’s going to be a hard watch with a lot of fast forwarding.

    • They both looked foul, didn’t they? Sludgy rice with overcooked fish, or raw spatchcock with burnt bits of something in a carrot puree? I felt sorry for the judges.

  12. Eugh.

    So, we’re stuck with the Wankers for a few more episodes? What I thought was hilarious — in a sad kind of way — was Josh’s glee at the end, over beating his “rival”. Uh, Josh sweety? You still scored 29 out of 60. That’s a fail no matter how you cut it, you great sodding idiot.

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  13. The Wankers need to stop smirking. Except for the entree their food was far from impressive. Why can’t they just eliminate the bottom two teams? I don’t think I can stand to see either of them smirking any more. At least we get several days without King & Queen Smirky Jerks.

  14. All downhill after the entrees, a real dogfight to the bottom. Massively overblown Battle Of The Titans. I wouldn’t put it past the cheating producers to keep the Roids on ice and give them a shot at fighting their way back into this gruelling cooking competition.

    It was a battle to watch it all. Not only the shallots were burned

    Big deal you can fillet fish if you trash it when attempting to cook it.

  15. Last night’s show was lame. I’ll give one thing, and one only, to the Tools – they were more sportsmanlike about their loss than the smirking Wankers were about their minor victory. Still, both teams are unbearably obnoxious and I think most viewers would have preferred a tie with both teams eliminated.

    Seafood Wanker proved again that he doesn’t know how to cook fish. His stupid wife doesn’t know how to cut a pie. Cooking rice is beyond both of them.

    The Tools decide to roast birds when the allotted cooking time is one hour. And put burnt crap in their carrots. And serve gloppy praline.

    Promos for tonight are playing up a rivalry between two teams of women who clash for some unknown and unimportant reasons. It’s meant to be a cooking show.

    MKR, you suck.

    • This is from the new judge, Darren:

      “Some of the food was rubbish and some of it was great,” Robertson, who is engaged to former Channel 10 meteorologist Magdalena Roze, said.

      “There are two or three really good cooks and you get to know who they are very quickly through conversation around the table.

      “Some of them have a genuine passion and knowledge about food but that is not across the board. Some of them are clearly there for another reason.”

    • Against my better judgement (ie I’m technically insane) I watched it. No one else in my family would validate this choice – the children “no way mum – I’d rather do homework” and husband “you’ve got to be kidding- I’ll do work if you’re watching that crap”. But I stuck my finger on the playback button and persevered. Can’t say I feel anything but soiled from the experience.
      Roid and wife were tolerably gracious in defeat. Gap tooth dog ugly and mrs prat were insufferable for people scoring so badly. Rock bottom.

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