Daisy’s travel update: To Paris

From Daisy: If you have been following, you will know that while travelling Woolif and I have been thrown the biggest curve ball. But according to Woolif we can’t change our air tickets so we are paddling like hell trying to organize from here, everything we can. The greatest challenge is that if we bail him out, he might run and get caught on a drugs charge. Of course he would keep begging us for money, describing is situation as dire, but the money would be used for Ice. So as terrible a choice it is for us to have to make, we can not bail him. He will feel abandoned and think we are monsters. But I would rather him in there for petty theft, than on a drugs charge and I would rather he get no access to Ice.
So that is the backdrop for this leg of the journey. I love Nice and it was going to be me favourite leg, but now all I can do is think of my son in a Thai prison. Thankfully I was able to find a woman on Koh Samui who will visit him and pass messages and deposit money in his prison account until we arrive. That will be another set of challenges.

So there is a curtain of grief and worry over everything we see and do now. Eating just makes me think of his prison food. But I will still try and give you a glimpse into the rest of the journey.

As I said, I love Nice. It is so rich in things to see. It’s a beach holiday, and weather you are sitting on galettes or beautiful sand in nearby Juan les Pins, the water is lovely and there is so much to see. It doesn’t matter how old you are, you can wear whatever you like. Old ladies don’t shrivel up and disappear, they shrivel up and thrive. They seem to express themselves through their glamour and boldness. Beaches are very social places for the locals and regular summer holiday makers.

But it’s not just the beaches that are an attraction. Off the beach, you can stroll the Boulevarde des Anglais (beachfront), go shopping anywhere along the the many interesting streets, or visit the really extensive old town. There are plenty of restaurants and cafés where you can eat the fast food; pasta, pizza and salad, or you can do so googling and find much better restaurants where you can enjoy a better meal for a similar price. We found the Citrus in the old town.

The Boulevarde des Anglaise.

Along the beachfront at night.

There is a downside too: the homeless, alcoholics and addicts begging for money as they sit on the side of the footpath, each in their own position. And getting woken at night by drunks fighting outside your apartment and smashing in car windows. That’s what happened last night. I got up and was peeping like Gladys Kravitz. Image

I will finish with some nice images of Nice. After here we go to Salat les Canéda. Don’t think us harsh for not going straight back. We are trying to save our son’s life and I feel trapped not being able to do so. I am worrying every moment of every day.



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69 Comments

  1. oh Daisy I am so sorry that you have this ever present worry clouding your trip. There is literally no easy path for you and I can understand your concern about throwing money towards further addiction – so tough. You love your children but you can’t make all decisions for them. What a terrible curveball.

  2. Thanks Brussel. We have been able to hire what seems like a good lawyer, and his email from him last night was reassuring. Thank goodness he wasn’t arrested on a drugs charge so best case scenario, he gets clean in a Thai prison. It might be just as well that we couldn’t get away because he would have begged us to bail him out, and I would have wanted to weaken. It could have been disastrous had we lbailed him. I don’t want him in for life.
    And in any case, if he pleads guilty and pays compensation to the victim (for 3dollars petrol), his time served will be taken off. And as he has overstayed his visa, he will be deported. Then it begins I suppose. Aaaah. I am too old for this. Between this and his ex, earlier this year, cutting our usual 3 days a week contact with the kids, it’s been unbelievable. I worry that this will be our life now. And I can’t walk away from it. My love for them would keep me going.
    Anyway. That’s all become too maudlin. I’m sorry about that.
    Perhaps now that the lawyer has been reassuring, I can return my mind a little bit back to France.

    I included our disaster, even though it’s a massive over share, because anything can happen on holiday, and you need to be prepared for it. We didn’t lose passports, weren’t robbed, didn’t have an accident and have to go to a French hospital. And in spite of the chaos that has rained down on us this year, we are just boring, organized people, who like to live quietly.
    So before you go on holiday, make sure you inform your bank you will be away and where, in case you need to make large, important withdrawals. You should inform them anyway because banks may see even small overseas withdrawals as unusual and cut your credit, leaving you stuck for money.

    Yesterday I was a mess, today, I am hopeful that this will actually help my son get off his drug addiction, and that is my number one goal, because it is destroying his life. So today I am going put my head up, and head to Jean les Pins for a nice day on a sandy beach.
    Then I have a hair appoinment so that I can present well to the prison guards in Thailand (Oh God, how did this become my life?)
    Sorry about the typos and errors. It’s first thing in the morning here.
    Soon Woolif and I will enjoy our morning Bold and Beautiful, thanks to correspondants Dave, Windsong and Sara. They and our wonderful ttv regulars, have been a rock that kept me sane.
    You never imagined keeping anyone sane did you.

    • “You never imagined keeping anyone sane did you.”

      Oh, honey. If I’m your rock of sanity, then we’re all in *real* trouble.

      *hugs*

  3. We are all sending kind thoughts to you, Daisy. It is incredibly generous of you to share with us.
    And of course we don’t think badly of you. It is impossible to know what to do in your situation.
    But I love your photos – you have a good eye, or interesting angles. I especially adore the old ladies. I am so envious of them. Why isn’t Australia like this. Or maybe, why aren’t I.

  4. It’s definitely an over share, but I figured it might help someone else. And btw, these bikinis are coming home with me. I am Euro trash now.

  5. Share away, Daisy. Only smart, kind people allowed here at TTV (well, unless they are being snarky about Bachie, in which case I fully endorse such behaviour)

  6. Sorry to hear about the trouble with your son. Drug addiction tears families apart and ruins a persons life. Will be praying he has a light bulb moment amd gets clean.
    Enjoy the rest of France and your European trip.

  7. Thankyou everyone, for your kind sentiments. It’s not about me, yet it can suck everyone into it’s epicentre.But the lawyer’s email was reassuring.

  8. Let’s get back to France. We are still in Nice; the part of the entire trip that I had been.mosy anticipating. Iove it. It is great having the car and being able BN to get NB around even though I wa like a wet dish rag and just wanted to go home.
    Please don’t let my experience deter you. Nice is still my top favourite place and isn’t tcursed.

  9. I have become interested in photographing people and discovered that everyone has the own “attractiveness”, their own anesthetic. I like catching people who are in deep thought or just in ordinary expression. Here are a few pics taken in Nice and at Juan le Pins beach.

  10. A day of relief, at Juan les Pins. It’s about 30 mins drive from Nice. I get scared to wake each day to hear what the news is.
    I treated myself to a visit to the hairdressers today.

    • And then what? You’ve told us your worries about what might happen if you give in and bail your son out. Please go back and read the first paragraph of your post here and remember how you were thinking then. You’ve got a lawyer involved, and the contact lady helping, so you’re not completely out of touch. Maybe some distance is not the worst thing right now?

      I can’t even imagine how hard this all is for you. It’s fine if you want to tell me to stick my opinion where the sun doesn’t shine.

      • I think what I wrote was me justifying in my head. It was Woolif’s stance, not mine, but I was making it mine. Justifying. But if anything tells me not to bail him out, it’s reading about crystal meth. I just want him to know we didn’t put holiday plans ahead of him. And I know he chose to do it, like an idiot, but it’s beyond that now.

        It still might not happen. We might not get flights, but too late for me to enjoy the holiday.
        Maybe we will prefer Munchies on Vhaweng Beach. Woolif has already booked Vhaweng Regent for the 20th. He:ll get over it with a Thai beer on the beach.Anyway, It may not happen, and it still means going through Carcassonne, Salary le Canada and Paris. I have to face the music at some point, and even though you wouldn’t know it, I am in great distress here. But bail is not an option.

  11. You are right, Von. But this morning’s report from the Embassy has tipped me over. I don’t want him out. That would be the worst thing. And ihe will be in prison about a year anyway. As Dr Phil says, “You just want to make yourself feel better”I

  12. I have about 5 hours to make my decision. Before it was Woolif’s decision but it had different motives.
    FYI Woolif is already planning a nice KS resort.

  13. Feel free to weigh in. But there is a long standing issue between Son and Woolif that I don’t want excasserbated.
    But yes. It:s good for me too.
    Bail is not on the table.

    • Yesterday Dr. Phil said ” choose the behaviour , you choose the consequences”. Today it was “We never stop being parents”. Both times thought of you. It’s hard, today the alcoholic mother/ grandmother would rather drink than spend time with Grandchildren or go to Dr:Phil’s “dual diagnosis” rehab ranch.

      Want me to write to Dr.Phil for you or help draft a letter ? Or am I crazy?

      I’m crazy.

      Wishing and hoping for you.

      • Oh yes please. Write to Dr Phil because I am going to need to Pony Ranch too after this. Yes, Phil could out us all into a lavish rehab centre.

        Yyhe dates have been switched. For better or worse, I think I would rather face the music sooner. It’s going to be a nightmare seeing him and having to tell him we can’t get him out, but at least we don’t have to tell him we’re jerky parents who didn’t want to stop their holiday to go help him…even if it won’t be the help he wants. I was researching crystal meth and if it is that, and I am sure it is, then, he is better off in prison than out.
        I feel sick to my stomach thinking about what we will face and what we all have ahead of us. I should have only had dogs.

        You’ll get the ffd version, Carcassonne, Salat, Paris, Koh Samui.

    • In our region we have serious issues with ice. I have been to some community meetings about it! There are some terrifying statistics. Apparently the mind of an addict is not rational. You cannot reason with them as their mind is chaotic. But Daisy your mind and heart is strong! I would struggle being away from my home base if I was in your situation. I would go home. I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want to hear. You asked on the post for opinions. I am sorry for your situation… I thought you had it all. Regards Sandii

      • Got it, Sandii. It’s not home. But we are heading to Koh Samui. And will be there for 4 weeks with a two day trip home in the middle. But I miss home now, and family.

      • Thanks, Sandii. I agree. I am missing home, family and dogs. But we are making our way to Koh Samui, Thailand, to now and will be there soon. Woolif was wanting to finish the trip, but in the end a traumatized wife won out. Woolif caved and spent hours on the phone to the bank, to Singapore Airlines, to the places in France where we were booked (people kindly refunded), making new bookings, and booking Koh Samui.
        But we have to drive the car back to Paris, and I am giving in to Woolif on overnight stays. I look forward to being home and resuming my independence.
        I miss my family, dogs, friends, neighbours and home.
        I want to see the Fallen Billionaire Neurophysisist , yet I dead it. I am still in a state of shock. I dread most of all, the sense of shock and abandonment he will experience when we don’t get him out. But I fear the effects of Ice on him more than I fear a Thai prison or his reaction.
        Yes. I wish I was home, cuddling my dogs. And a thought occured, hugging his kids without dissolving. Their mother hasn’t told them.

  14. Of course we know that you are distressed, Daisy.
    We all wish we could help. Or wish that there was something that we could say or do that would make it even a little bit better.
    It’s just awful.
    In the ideal world this would make him come to his senses and everything would right itself. I am sure deep down he knows that you are both there for him, but people can be funny about these things.

  15. All packed and heading toward Carcassonne. It’s not direct but I Woolif that. I will lift the mood and send you some nice pics.

    Au reboot Nice and Juan Les Pins.. We hope to return and do it better next time. Phone off the hook. 😁

  16. Hugs to you Daisy 🙂 i can only say safe travels from here.
    I hope once things have settled down you can start dreaming up your next travelling adventure.

    • Thanks, Erin. It would be nice to try again without bad news and traumWe are in Sarlat la Canada now. Absolutely beautiful countryside and village. It’s so weird to have your eyes feasted while your insides are elsewhere. Last stop before Paris.

  17. I had an email from the lady I mentioned. Waaaaay more help than the Aust Embassy. She has provided so much info. She will see son tomorrow. She informed us that through the Embassy we can get authorized extended, unsupervised visits. The Embassy only told us he was given two black eyes.

  18. In fact I am surprised how useless the Australian Embassy have been. They should have a set to do list for families in this situation. This afterall IS our first rodeo and the Thai prison don’t tell you anything.

    • Impossible to know anything without guidance Daisy. That was exactly what I imagined the embassy WOULD provide. Disappointing that you are trying to navigate these unknown waters without help.

      This is such a hard trip to make – I see you are doing what you truly think is the best for your son, even if he may not recognise it as that immediately. I hope he does in time realise it was for the best and you end up with best case scenario – enforced rehab. It will be tough for you all though I fear.
      Sending positive and kind thoughts as you go through this dificult journey.

      • Thankyou, Brussell.

        We are at Charles Dr Gaul airport now. We have braced ourselves. We have said our goodbyes to Paris. I love it here and our French was getting passable. We hope to be able to afford to return one day, under happier circumstances. I will post my final photos later.
        I hope the ride didn’t prove too maudlin for you. Cheers and bon voyage.

  19. This is why I find envy/jealousy so annoying. We all have good and bad, highs and lows, sickness and health, birth and death. I have a cousin, who through no fault of her own, was born with a blood disorder that has put her in hospital time and time again, throughout her life. It has damaged her lungs to the point that if she woke up one day and could breathe, she would be elated, ecstatic. So we are dealing with this situation, like many before us and after us. I accept all well wishes, all humour and all hugs. I weigh up all advice. I will try and enjoy our business class flight (mine paid by for with points) before we face tiger.

  20. Newsflash. I wasn’t going to write about this but jailhouse rock went really well. Son didn”t ask to be bailed and accepted the lawyers advice to stay there. It would go better for him when he goes to court. But he actually looked good.
    The visit was difficult, but that was the system. But the other visitors waiting were so kind and helpful. I know we will have ups and downs, but that was really positive.

  21. The visiting process is crazy. I calculate that we spent 3 and 1/2 hours there for a 15 min talk. But the main thing was, he didn’t look like he’d been working on the WW2 Burmese railway.

    • That news is good to hear, daisy.

      I used to work in a little booth to initially meet visitors before they went into Old Adelaide Jail. Visitors were shaking like leaves before going in and I cannot forget the awful stench of prison food being cooked up. Years later, I had an old cell for a dressing room when the joint was turned into a restaurant/ venue. Freezing, awful place.

      I’ve been in prison overnight three times (too much alcohol and drugs is bad), and performed in one prison, Beechworth, where Ned Kelly was first incarcerated. Beautiful country there.

      • Yes. I am pretty sure Son was trying to put on a cheerful front.
        I need to try and buy him a toothbrush from the prison shop. They make everything so complicated. I took him a really nice sketchbook and some textas. I gave them to the upstairs office. Fingers crossed.

  22. This is so much out side my experience that you should just take my comments as ruminating out loud.
    I would imagine that the hardest things would be keeping hope and keeping the mind occupied.
    His story would make a fabulous book?
    The faces around him would make fabulous artwork?
    BDD would write fabulous poetry.
    It would be something. Better than nothing.

    • Outside my experience too, Bobi. I haven’t even lost any demerit points from my driver’s licence. This is all too surreal.
      The beach is nice, but the weather in Europe was nicer. It was sunny, hot and dry there. It’s coming into monsoon season here. It’s cloudy and only warm.

  23. Fingers crossed, Daisy. You must be relieved to finally be there. And I hear there are real beaches there, not those awful galette ones, although I will miss your photos of European women in their swimmers.

  24. Newsflash. Woolif has been booking a trip to France for next year. We want tl try again, but this time without the terrror, panic and grief.
    We were watching that show on ABC about the old people in a home who suffered depression because they could no longer do anything. That was a great motivator.

    Son should be home in a few weeks, maybe. We are watching the situation through that lady I mentioned. She deposits money in his account; enough for food everyday. We have a good lawyer for him. And we are happy to be home and destressing.

    Doglets are happy to be home, although they loved their time at Daughter’s place. They killed 3 chooks. They have no fur on their bodies because daughter had them shaved to remove their dreadlocks.

    • Our dogs never smile. Harry looks you asked him to make his own bed. Maggie looks like she is on antidepressants and they’re not working.

  25. Our young (20 something) neighbour had cleared our yard of fallen branches, mowed our lawn front and back, and washed down our verandahs and patio. What a neighbour!!!

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