Farmer Wants a Wife – Ep 3

Hooray for guest recapper, Daisy:

Tonight on Farmer Wants a Wife…..
We pick up where we left off last week, saying goodbye to the first round of home stay girls. Now we know, ttv readers, that our hearts have warmed to Farmer Matt, but (slaps own face) we have to remain objective, and no free pass for our toothy cattle rancher.
The show begins with Famer Julz, 36, who wants to prove that there is fun to be had in Tumby Bay, so he takes his girls to segway park. Hmmm, I hope Tumby Bay gets better than segway. Adam chooses something to test his girls’ cooking skills and dinner table conversation, and takes them to a cooking class. Still not a lot of fun. They get a class in tortellini making. Hayley is on edge and feeling insecure. Not a good look, Hayley.
Samantha is developing feelings for Oyster Farmer Jedd, but photographer Kerry gets the jump on her and, camera in hand, goes to the beach with Jedd and Gregory. Gregory gets to show off his canine modelling, and Jedd is probably going to ask Greg if he likes Kerry. Jedd is still being bashful.
Now the screen heats up as we see Farmer Matt drive in on his enormous machine. He is definitely the producers choice for sex and sizzle. The word dirty gets mentioned a lot now. The girls aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty, and we saw Matt’s dirty hands last week. It’s very sexy work, cattle rustling. There sweat, singlets, skin and phemerones are going crazy. April is drooling. Amelia is gushing. But Gabi is feeling left out.
Now on Lachie’s farm, he wants to make sure he makes the right decision-he is running out of dating show options. His girls are dolling up for a day out at Camden races. Lachie has invited his mates to check out the girls, while the girls do their best to appear bright, witty and charming. But Lachlan is bombing out with Jess, who didn’t feel any sparks.


Over at the rodeo, Lance brings his mate Bob to help lasso a filly. There is some bull handling and Lisa doesn’t want anything too big or frisky between her legs. Not sure if she means Lance. In the meantime, Julz takes beautician Alex to feed parrots.


For a nice interlude, the parrots are pretty. Alex and Julz get on well enough for Alex to thank Julz for sharing his budgie.
Here we have some farmer related ads for those of us who might need a tractor and then it’s back to Farmer Matt, taking his cowgirls to a beautiful creek for a frollick. I think April and Amelia are OK with a threesome and we all get to see Matt’s bum, rewind, bum again, rewind, bum…..OK move on. The slap and tickle in the creek has left Gabi once again feeling a little behind, but not the same behind that April felt. Matt takes Gabi off into the bushes and asks to see every side of her.


Gabi obliges and they lock lips. Well played Gabi! Matt tells the camera he is lost for words.


At Adam’s sedate luncheon, talk turns to relationship goals. Christine’s heart is melting, but Hayley is floundering. She doesn’t cope well with competition and her inner bunny boiler is showing. Hayley’s eyes tear up. She wants Adam to herself. She is anxious about the other girls’ ability to engage Adam in witty banter. At the rodeo, hot and cold Karen is off the boil again. She doesn’t want to hurt Lance, but she writes him a dear John letter, even though he is only in the kitchen.


Lance was sad, but resilient. That little “rip snorter” was his favourite. Lance must be partial to a sad sack. Karen drives away as Lance turns his attention back to spoiling his two remaining “lovely ladies”.
Back at Camden race track (do dah, do dah….sorry), the girls are hitting the juice and have loosened up. They are enjoying Lachie’s mates and cousin Stu, all of whom look a bit like a bunch of codgers. Julz’s feelings for Megan are beginning to waver, so he takes her for a deep and meaningful walk on a jetty, while Jedd takes Samantha to sit in a vineyard. Jedd finally gets over his shyness and zooms in for the smooch. He does well, for a slow starter. Returning to Camden, Jess lets Lachie down gently with an ‘it’s not me it’s you’ and an offer to stay friends. She has no regrets, perhaps because she can now go on to do First Dates. Lachlnan is pragmatically still looking forward to his future.
Now be patient viewers because as the episode winds up, we are told that next week ….the claws will be out. Miaooow. Till next week ????



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46 Comments

    • Hahahhahaa!! Hahahaha!! I think that Sam should watch her back around him. Have a feeling he wants to be hosting this show next year.

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      • I’ve got this feeling Lachlan won’t find a match, although Kelsey Grammar (the Naturopath with long blonde hair) seems keen.

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    • Guuuuurl.. C’mon! Surely by now you know what you’re getting into signing up for these shows! It’s only fun if you don’t actually like the guy and you get to go on a nice holiday and make some new friends.

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      • Surely she knows by now, acting needy is like shooting yourself in the foot. Mind you, a little bit of needy and insecure worked a treat or Gabi with Matt.
        The confident girls April and Amelia would have been spewing.
        I like Amelie out of those three because she is bright, relaxed and happy. She’s confident but not cocky.

  1. Seems as though segway-ing is the definition of fun in Tumby Bay. Just watch out you don’t stack or it or you’ll be kicked out of town.

    Adam was definitely testing his future wifey’s cooking skills with that “fun activity”. Hey Adam, I can cook. Nothing fancy because I don’t cook for enjoyment, but I won’t burn the steak. I’ll bake a cake/cookies on special occasions 😀

    I get Hayley in a way, but by now, you know these shows are going to be intense in a weird way. I do feel for the shy girls though, it’s not easy to be yourself and crack out your inner funny around more confident, louder individuals. Maybe it is just our graphic designer connection. I got your back, sister haha.

    I LOVE Jedd and Greg.. they are aborbsable. Couldn’t help but feel that Jedd was just loving the free photography class though. He can tick that one off his to-do list!

    Ah, Dirty Matt with the ever-so-white teeth. He has all the impressive equipment. Daisy, you’re rubbing off on me. I am not a fan of April or Amelia. I am not convinced that they are there for lurve. Amelia wants a cheap holiday. After all, we can assume she is a poor student and April wants to further her career as a “brand ambassador” (ahem, promo model who dresses in short shorts, flirts with guys at pubs and hands out free drinks).

    Lachlan – skip!

    Oooo I had some lorikeets in the backyard yesterday arvo and they are back again now. But no dodgy date going on.

    “but not the same behind that April felt” – hahahahahha cracked me up. Will this be the group that provides all the sizzle but none of the substance?! Over on #TeamAdam, Hayley needs to take some queues from Gabi in how to play the “I’m feeling left out damsel in distress”. Gurl knows how to play it.

    If Adam is for reals then I can build him a farm and he should move to Sydney. I am definitely #TeamAdam.

    How did Karen get on the show? They must have sensed her unbalanced emotional state and thought she could be RTV gold.. but she is now gone. Poor Lance?

    I really wanted Greg’s reaction and opinion on Jedd’s kiss.

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  2. Good one Eliza. ????
    On Karen, remember these women have seen Lance before hand so you are hardly going to get Jessica Alba, or Havana Brown. But Karen looks like she has been slow poached in vinegar. It looks like Lisa and Suzie aren’t put off by Lancie, and there is always sideshow Bib for spare parts.

    Yes, Matt could fall into a vat of tar and his teeth would still be white.

    If I was young, I would go for Jed, although when I was young I would not have gone for Jed.

    So if you like Adam, we should get people to post their photos (no photoshopping) for any empty handed farmers. Like they do on IYATO.

    And don’t forget Bob and Lachlan’s mates by be free. In fact, it’s probably highly likely.

  3. You mean cattle man Bob is up for grabs? Ohh I’m first in line haha *shudders* I am still 18, remember 😉 So you’re saying we should post photos of ourselves? Ha! I can’t believe I missed the first Aus IYATO. I’ll remember next week.

    Jedd, Jedd, Jedd.. He seems too.. Hmm. Out of all of them, I hope he finds a genuine woman on the show.

    Btw, is it just you and me watching this show?

    More fires in WA??

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  4. It seems that way Eliza. Chirp, chirp, chirp. Oh well, it’s always you and me on the hook-up shows.

    Yeah, more fires. I drove through the burnt out bush on my way to Perth a couple of weeks ago and it was weird. Since then, there have been a few more fires, but by arsonists I think. I didn’t think there was much left to burn.

    • I know. We manage to keep ourselves entertained, though haha

      Brats. They are sick. Someone should just knock down their house. Years ago I went to the Blue Mountains sometime after one of their fires and it is devastating.

  5. Hi Daisy and Eliza, I am watching and spying on your chatter. The creepy one was so shocked that his favorite girl ( well 2nd favorite if you count the one that chickened out before they went down to the farm) left this week of her own accord. Lot of creepy Lance types in Rockhampton area. It is my least favorite town in Qld.

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    • Perhaps, no matter who left, Lancie would have said that she was his favourite. Karen was as sour as a pickle and as sunshiney as the middle of a winter blizzard. I think Mustang Suzie might be his type. She doesn’t seem to mind being roped in, tipped upside down and spanked on the bum. And she thought the horse poo toss was fun.

      • Agree, Lance seems to like the women who appear to like him least. True, Suzie doesn’t seem to mind the “hands on” approach so not sure why he isn’t keen as a bean for that one!

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  6. Impressive promos for ep 4 Farmer. Matt and his love life steaming up the screen again. Funny, I didn’t see them use shots of Lance and Suzie with her rump thrown over his shoulder.
    Lance should rope Suzie, but if Karen was anything to go by, Lance likes them more….how can I put this without saying pickle faced…..serious.

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