Married at First Sight – week 2

Episode 4 of MAFS screens tonight from 7pm-8.30pm. Over to MAFS correspondent, Daisy (thank you!):
Hi ttv gang and MAFS fans. This isn’t a recap but a review of events so far and preamble header for this week’s shows.
So according to our not-so-experts, there are 4.3 million Aussies looking for love. Dating these days is hard so in come tv producers to create a range of reality shows to help Adams and Eve’s locate each other. And provide voyeuristic entertainment for us.

With their credibility shot, the sexperts put on brave, knowledgeable faces and press on for whatever pittance and infamy the show provides them to pretend they are using science to match lovers. I think they have one or two successes so far, so less than random chance maybe.
But to the cast; I will skim and try to recall names. My opinions are my own. Readers may have very different likes and dislikes. I will only mention my highs and lows; starting with Cheryl. Cheryl thinks people judge her on her looks. I suspect they might judge her on her inflated sense of her own gorgeousness. It looks like she has been Daddy’s darling. She was quite rude. Her partner, the peacock entrepeneur, might find her favourite position is ‘centre of attention’. Cheryl reminds me of spoilt Sharon from Kath and Kim.

Interrupt the sexperts with vital information: it takes 7 seconds to form a first impression”. Der.

Also matched up was a farmer from QLD with a down to earth fifo from Western Australia. They were both thrilled with each other. No ravers, they thought each other beautiful, and that’s all that matters. They were nice enough. Michael the stripper is happy that his blonde is fit, “has nice hair” and small ears, and she thinks he is good looking, but he is hiding the truth of his work. Will that fly with blondie and her mum. I am also seeing a problem because a perfectionist male isn’t going to be happy with a girl who leaves her cups out gor her mum to pick up and wash. Also this is where Michael needs to check out the mother to see his wife in twenty years. How rude was Mummy bagging out the groom to his rellies!
The pool for wannabe rtv romantic hopefuls must be quite good because I think the producers found some good, if not gorgeous ones. Lebanese Alene is sweet but isn’t feeling the chemistry with Simon. Simon is giving it his best shot though. He used humour to win over his bride and her family.

Talkative Italian girl Vanessa is quite delightful but will Mark’s shyness be too much. With Vanessa, Mark would get a fabulous family. I loved Vanessa’s adorable dad and the bridesmaid’s dresses. Vanessa and (don’t put too much make-up on me so he knows what I look like) Alene are two of my favourite brides.

I nearly forgot the girl who did modelling and her hubby that was the horse race caller. He seemed nice, but she seemed to have a bit of a stick up her botty. She might come good if he can get that out. She refused to kiss him for the photos, whereas panning back to Cheryl, she just complained at the kissing.

Anyhoo viewers, we have been introduced to lots of couples this year, so who do you like, dislike and who will make it into the MAFS hall of flame with Zoe and Alex and produce little mafs babies? And will we have our first wife swap. I think Cheryl could go with Michael the stripper. And who will be the Runaway bride…..?



  1. “It takes 7 seconds to form a first impression”.

    One doesn’t have to be a sexpert to know that it takes a whole lot less than seven seconds when “male stripper” is mentioned.

    That’s why Michael kept it a secret from his bride..

  2. I apologize for my poor editing. I am a bit off my game atm due to painkiller. So as not to be mysterious; nerve blocker.

  3. While it’s fresh in my mind (because I think I screwed up some names from last week), I will quickly review tonight. Deb married John, who disappointed by being a non Samoan smoker, but she did like his daughters. John was keen. Deb was mystical in a new age meets Women’s Aglow/Hillsong prayer meeting kind of way. They seem totally unsuited.
    Extremely nervous and highly strung Lauren (I think) married ex school teacher fireman Andrew. They were both pretty keen until Lauren did a sudden runner. Andrew was suitably annoyed at her for leaving without saying goodbye.

    • Hmmm, interesting Maz. I thought Lauren seemed like she liked the booze. She made a couple of comments that made me think binge drinker. And Andrew made a couple of risqué comments that you might not say about a woman you just met when she has an 11 yr old son who might be watching.
      Even if I drank alcohol, I would be careful not to get tipsy for tv cameras. Andrew might have been a fighter but Lauren was no charmer. Her temper tantrum during the wedding preparations showed that.
      Maybe Andrew’s drunken aggression was just the excuse Lauren needed to bolt since she had a plan B. I hope they give Andrew one of the bridesmaids. 😙

  4. What these matches are predicated upon is becoming more tenuous.

    We had the first twins (WORLDWIDE) brags the blonde sexpert…but it is all in the name of science.

      • Don’t believe it is. He wasn’t drinking alone.

        By blurring it, they just draw attention to it (just like MC ripping off and blurring labels last year).

  5. Twin One tells Twin Two that she should give short groom an opportunity.

    Twins’ father is shorter than Jesse. Gives them both a whip to crack (just in case we miss a)they are in charge b)they are from the country).

    Dumped firefighter mopes around the hotel room pretending to care about Lauren. (When did they swap numbers?)

  6. So we missed the best episode eva of MKR(?) for an episode of MAFS sponsored by Hotels Combined.

    The couples were dispatched as follows:
    Susan + Sean=Arlie Beach (There is no talent in cutting up fruit)
    Deborah+John=Somoa (excellent chance for Deborah to pick up her Islander)…she requests a separate bed in a separate room. John not to miss an opportunity of one-upmanship requests a separate apartment.
    Scarlett + Stripper =Kakadu Michael (who secretly wants to be a soap star*) reveals he is a striper. Scarlett stewing on that calls him the fakest person ever.
    Michelle + Jesse=Katherine
    Simon +Aline = Magnetic Island
    Cheryl & Jonathan=Queenstown

    Andrew and Lauren have their final counselling session as the expert intones it is very important to know why you are dumped. News reports aside, Lauren pretty much admits she dumped Andrew as he wasn’t ‘pretty enough’ in the the tall, dark, brooding Bryonesque manner that is demanded of the perfect romantic partner. Her exact words were:

    “I was like ‘Omg I’m glad I didn’t wear hear heels.’ That was something that did go through my mind, that sound so vain but I was expecting someone quite tall, being that I am quite a tall girl. That sounds so awful.”

    Digging that hole even bigger,” I was thinking you hadn’t had kids. That was something I was hoping for and wanted… Somebody that had been through a broken marriage, that had kids. People show empathy but some people don’t have it til you have kids and have come through a broken relationship.”

    Lauren could have thought about the kid BEFORE she applied for the show. The reason she is single is because she is a bitch not because she is a mother.

    Deborah is still obsessing about the Polynesian. Shades of Clare s1 could be heard while sobbing she bemoaned,” I didn’t get anything I wanted. Why did I get a Polynesian wedding but not a Polynesian? They could have put an ad out,. Interviewed 100 of them and got one. I got an Orange cake that wasn’t even gluten free. They knew what I wanted.”

    With merchandising potential, the other guest star was the Honeymoon box. Awkward questions within bound to create conflict. At least two relationships killed because of it.

    *we made that part up.

    • ” I got an Orange cake that wasn’t even gluten free”

      For a moment there, I thought she’d been paired up with Trump.

  7. Thanks for doing a recap, Maz. Good job. I loved tonight’s show.
    I reckon Lauren was using her son as an excuse and the real reason was Andrew didn’t appeal. What she did; leaving without saying anything was really mean. I wonder, since her son is important to her, if she imagined how her son would feel or she would feel if a girl did that to him.

    • Agree, she was cut because a) Andrew was “too short” b) his wallet was not fat enough to ameliorate aforementioned disappointment.

      We wish people would stop using their children to mask their shortcomings and naked ambition.

  8. What is it with some of these women? They are brutal. Deb had me laughing out loud when she stormed of into the tropical garden complaining that the producers hadn’t delivered what she ordered. John had better not order her a pizza because she will say, “I wanted Hawaiian!”. OMG Deb is a precious cookoo bird. So is the Nadia.
    Cheryl couldn’t understand why Johnathan went off the boil after being told he was, “Myeh, not attractive”.
    I love Simon and Alene. I don’t think Vanessa’s guy suits her.
    Most interesting couple tonight were Deb and John. What more crazy can Deb cook up for John. John’s daughters will be telling their dad to run. I hope he can find a nice Samoan girl on the island. 🌺

    • She is an odd one, Deb. Just don’t get the obsession with Polynesian guys.

      The sexperts failed miserably pairing an introvert with and extrovert. Epic Fail. But we guess two introverts do not make good TV.

      Cheryl is not the smartest tool in the shed.

  9. Oh and Scarlett and Michael were never going to happen. Firstly Michael wanted hot and she looks like a young Barbarah Steisand. Also he wanted career minded and she was “writing a book”.
    Saddest one was Andrew and he deserves another go. Now there’s an idea; Fireman wants a Wife.

    • We don’t think he wanted career minded, just a very hot chick who can pay her own way and follow HIS career. He said he was not moving from Perth as that is where HIS job is so there was an implicit expectation that the uber hot chick would give up her job.

  10. Let us be brutal, if John couldn’t give up the smoking for his girls, then a complete stranger has no chance in making nicabate attractive.

    • Thanks Maz. That Deb is entertaining in a way she probably didn’t intend. New Age Loony Tunes. She could star in another rtv series, Loony Ladies. She has no idea how dippy she is which makes her all the more watchable.
      Trouble is by now she probably already has a Hawaiian with pepperoni.

  11. The dinner party:
    1. Cheryl would jump Andrew if there were no cameras rolling.
    2. Stripper pretends to be into Scarlett.
    3. Andrew is very quiet and Vanessa just talks and talks and talks and patronises him.
    4.Scarlett (from San Francisco) and Jonathan confess to being Republican supporters (Trump, pro-guns and pro-Life). Hey experts, that may be a BIG clue that S would have problems with a stripper!
    5.Seriously, did these people never move beyond Peep a Boo. Just because you can’t see the person sitting next to you doesn’t mean they can’t hear you.
    6.Cheryl and Deb have a bitch fight.
    7. Deb walks out to the waiting taxi.
    8.No respect for the elders moans Deb.
    9. Scarlett and Michael have a domestic and reveals he is a control freak,” We agreed that I would smile at you and you would smile back.” Starts the silent treatment when Scarlett rebels against the edict.
    10. Scarlett is angry and is telling EVERYONE that Michael is a stripper.
    11. Everyone is sloshed. Nick in particular.
    12. Cheryl is done (cue lingering close-up of C trying to give BB Brooke a run for her money).

  12. Thanks for the taster, Maz. I will have to watch tomorrow. I just watched The Imposter on IView or something (what a bloody bastard) and now I am Cheryl aka “done”. 😴😴😴😴

  13. Something doesn’t add up with stripper Michael. He said he wanted a girl with direction and a career, but then he isn’t willing to move states. A girl with a career and direction also probably can’t move states.

    • Of course, a stripper is an exemplary career and direction to be heading.

      I figured male strippers would have an early use by date, then opportunities would literally shrivel up….there’d be a lot of stiff competition in the occupation. Naked ambition.

      • 😁😁😁 When you are a male stripper, there is only one way to go, and it’s up.
        And here is why I have never been to a hen’s night.

    • Precisely. He just wants a piece of eye-candy who has the financial resources (aka saves money by not eating) to take care of herself and not be a financial burden on him.

      To be brutal, his economic potential is diminishing. a) Stripping is something you do in your 20s (you know “pay for college”/deposit for a house). He is 30. b) His day job is data entry in the mining industry. That is either being off-shored or automated. Does he have a back-up plan for his 40s.

      • If it were true,Scarlett would have plenty of time to write because Michael will only be available for four hours a day, even less after a “big Saturday night”. Maybe data entry 9 to 5 but he’ll be doing different kinds of entries after hours.

    • Chased by a film crew? She’s not Diana Spencer.
      And “aspiring author” means unemployed. Nothing against aspiring authors, but you have a job first. I am reading between the lines and think Miss My Mother Picks up After Me doesn’t work, and only writes, “Today I did my nails”. But at least now she can write a story about getting chased by the police.

  14. I haven’t watched this before today’s recap. Michael must have amazing assets because he’s a very unattractive man to look at.

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