MKR Mon

My Kitchen Rules Monday chat.


Tonight Victorian mates Mark and Chris cook. They seem like nice blokes and they’ve done some solid cooking, but they’re not fancy enough to win.
They are sticking with their Italian classics
Entree is ricotta gnocchi with mushrooms or a citrus kingfish carpaccio.
Main is stuffed porchetta or pasta with bol.
(Side note: I still can’t get used to seeing teams carrying around those grey plastic bags of shopping. SA banned them years ago.)
Dessert is Campari sorbet and a crumb or bombolini doughnuts with raspberry sorbet. Are they doing two sorbets because everyone who makes ice cream (except, I think, Tyson) is told it’s too icy?
I don’t know what’s up with the music tonight but when the boys were leaving Coles we got Jump Around by House or Pain and now, as the guests arrive, it’s Van Halen’s Jump. Did they just go to the J file and grab stuff? If they play Jumpin’ Jack Flash for Pete and Manu’s arrival I will be vindicated.
Speaking of guests, what’s going on? Midwife No. 2 is not in an off-the-shoulder number.
The guests are welcomed … blah-di-blah.
And Pete and Manu arrive to the tune of Believer by Imagine Dragons. Dammit. The judges look sharp but all I can thing of is the whole recent Pete headline grabbing.
The guests always order an even spread of dishes, whereas in past seasons we’ve had people trying to set opponents off balance by all ordering the same dish, usually one that’s harder to cook. Perhaps there are new rules.
Uh oh – Josh is on screen – time to fast forward.

Entree is served
Pete doesn’t like his carpaccio – it wasn’t seasoned or well dressed. (They need to follow Amy and Tyson’s lead and taste everything together).
Luckily, Manu like his gnocchi with lemon cream foam.
Josh accuses the other teams of nitpicking and Court’s head almost explodes. Ok, enough Josh talk.

Back in the kitchen the boys are making a gravy … are they allowed to call it a gravy on MKR instead of soz?
It is only their third time making this kind of pasta for cannelloni. Uh oh.
At the table, it’s nice seeing Dave squirm as everyone hassles him about being in Hashtag Betty’s Friend Zone and Betty says the though of them together is disgusting. Ouch.
Meanwhile the boys are having timer dramas and aren’t sure how long the porchetta has been in. When they do cut it, it looks fine.
I just don’t get the wreath of salad around the cannelloni. And it looks like they didn’t dress it in the bowl, instead only doing a squirt of balsamic something on the plate.

Main is served
Pete says their ragu is salty, dry and pasty and he bags their salad. “I can’t tell you I like it it, because I didn’t.”
Manu loved the smell of the porchetta but says it is overcooked and dry. Court is tearing up on the boys’ behalf. Manu knows he has just ripped out their hearts.
Amy (that’s Tyson’s Amy) can barely choke down any of the ragu and says it tasted like dog food. Everyone’s slightly appalled but the only person to clean their plate is Josh – some strategy here, methinks.

But the boys are having dessert dramas in the kitchen; their custard is too runy, so they replace it with the mascarpone they are also using in the other dessert. Their bombolini are massive while the sorbet is a tiny serving.


The judges taste dessert
Pete says their dessert is more of a palate cleanser size but he liked the Campari sorbet and pistachio crumb. His fave of the night.
Manu says the doughnut was too large but he loved the sorbet and that they used mascarpone cream inside.

The teams’ scores
Midwives 6
Hashtaggers 7
Mum and daughter 6
Della and Tully 6
Court and Dunc 6
Amy and Tyson 5
Josh and Amy 8 in strategic scoring.

The judges’ scores
Entree Pete (kingfish) 5 (seems generous given his comments); Manu (gnocchi) 9
Main Pete (pasta bol) 2; Manu (porchetta) 3
Dessert Pete (Campari sorbet) 7; Manu bombolini 8.
Total: 78.
They are now on the bottom of the leaderboard, so Amy and Tyson are five points ahead. And with Josh and Amy yet to cook, that means they should be safe.
Well, that’s it – no blow ups tonight.

Tomorrow night: Court and Duncan cook.



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22 Comments

  1. Faaaarrrk that Josh is such a pain….he doesn’t have any filters for what comes out of his mouth. And i think they must be paying him extra.
    Now the scoring….the boys scored well from the other teams because they are liked. Thier mains were not enjoyed by any one at the table….and Josh gave them a 8….what else can i say 😎

    • Strategic scoring from Josh and he told Amy that you have to go with my scoring. He was hoping to keep Amy and Tyson at the bottom of the leaderboard.

      He also has the cheek to complain about strategic scoring from David and Betty by giving them a low score.

        • Hashtaggers – well David, really – are my go to team of dislike. I would definitely not put strategic scoring past them. I might try to watch this episode now to check this out!

  2. By the look of the ad, three massive nights followed by swimming championships – not sure how many nights they are on for. Will we be left hanging till after Easter?

  3. I really felt bad for Mark and Chris. Nice guys, but like almost every other team, they were never here for any inherent culinary ability, and just seemed really out of their depth from word go.

    But let’s quickly cut to Josh because my gosh, we need to hear his opinion about EVERY BLOODY LITTLE THING, right channel 7?

    • Mark and Chris need to learn to be more offensive and reduce their descriptors to words like “slut” and “urine” if they want to raise their profiles and be a force in this doomed excuse for a competition. Go hard or go home , fellas. You’ll be “illuminated”

      “Do something!”~ John Kennedy.

      • Last year, I was quite sad when the season ended, mostly because of a certain boy from Malta and his home-made eggrolls, but the food at least made for a moderately-entertaining series.

        When this season ends? I think I’ll just be relieved that it’s *over*.

  4. We are going overseas at Easter and I don’t even CARE that I’m missing MKR. How to take a good show and run it into the ground.
    The kids were watching modern family watch tonight so I didn’t have to watch the ‘Josh vs human beings’ performance.
    I quite liked the blokes though. Hopefully they are only bottom until seafood chump cooks.

  5. The scoring was “off”. Two bad mains (and one which was basically inedible), a bad entree, and one so-so dessert and they get 6s and a 7 and then, of course, there is the 8 from Josh which was total BS and just strategic scoring on his part. I would have thought the scores would have been 5s and 4s based on the comments. At least Amy & Tyson seemed to score accurately.

    This season is just filled with mainly average and below average cooks with only about 3 teams having very good skills. Then there is the JERK who should have been gone already. Just hoping he and Amy get the lowest score and are eliminated.

    • Yes the scoring was way strategic, because they would rather the better cooks, Amy and Tyson go home than the boys who are not very good at all. So obvious, I don’t know how they are allowed to get away with it.

  6. Amy and Tyson gave an 8 the night before – knowing it would help keep them at the bottom. For some reason, their 8 was higher than everyone else? The beards nearly always scored lower than “the pack” so probably a good thing they are sitting this one out.
    On another subject, did anyone else watch The Project last night? OMG – staying with my mother at the moment, I excitedly told her that Heston was coming on – Fat Duck, awesome dude etc. etc. “You HAVE to see him” I said! All went well for the first…. 10 seconds till he opened his mouth. At one stage I truly thought I was keeping up with what he was saying, till I had to concede that he must have taken some of those “Limitless” pills or something. What a whacko!

    http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/tv/reality-tv/heston-blumenthals-bizarre-rant-stuns-the-project/news-story/46b2db78b2eca644de129753ee9e6661

    • I just checked out your link…and I have no idea what he was on about…no where in that rant did he answer the question!!!! They must have some goodies in the green room for the guests …..shame the project panel weren’t on the same stuff…then they may have been able to work out what Heston was gabbing on about.

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