Australian Survivor premiere

Champions V Contenders is finally here!
MasterChef is done, so put away your panna cottas and granitas and grab your buffs and torches.
How long before we hear someone on the Champs tribe say they have no idea who Russell is? First 15 mins? And how long before the camera lingers on Commando’s muscles? First 15 seconds?



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42 Comments

  1. Collector / table guard could not be more obvious that he is looking for clues. Should be doing it when a dual is on when more ppl are distracted!

  2. And I do watch a lot of American TV but it’s funny how an American accent really stands out amongst all the aussies!

  3. Juz u forgot to ask how quickly Russell will try to hook up with the pretty young thing! For the record 26 minutes in!

  4. So, those in the audience who aren’t that familiar with the franchise, Russell Hantz is pretty much sticking to his usual game plan. Immediately tell the audience how brilliant and wonderful he is, despite the fact that he’s never actually won? Check. Immediately form an alliance with the beautiful young girl? Check.

    At least everybody recognised him, so they know who they’re dealing with.

    I’m of two minds about Russell’s inclusion. On the one hand, do we need to import obnoxious American reality TV stars? We’ve already got plenty of home-grown ones. But having said that, remember how the first season of Australian Survivor was plagued by boring people and passive gameplay? Russell’s sheer presence means that people might have to bring their A-game, right off the bat, and he’s certainly gonna make things interesting.

    He also has an almost-supernatural ability to find hidden immunity idols. Case in point, the Champions were there for about 30 seconds before he found one.

    I’m also digging the little blond astrophysicist on the Champions tribe. He’s such an adorable nerd, and he admitted that he was ostracised in high school … and he’s now hanging out on a beach in Fiji alongside Ms Universe. There’s a lovely karma, there.

    • Back in 96 my very first boyfriend was an astrophysicist. He was pretty lame at athletics but during our duke of Edinburgh experience he was very proficient at climbing, caving, canyoning, construction.
      In fact he had only one fault…
      ( he didn’t love me, stupidly I read his diary).
      He now works at some uni in China (fb stalked, married to a subservient Asian) I bet they have fun on the weekends exploring the outdoors. :(:(:(
      @notbitter
      # still am :(:(:(

      • So pleased you have conquered your lost love Jazzman and that you are no longer bitter about the breakup. Great progress!

    • I’m pretty sure Hamish Blake (of Hamish and Andy) was studying astrophysics at uni. He is also a huge survivor fan!

    • That immunity trophy really looks like Random Junk We Found Washed Ashore On The Beach, doesn’t it?

  5. That tribal council?

    Good lord in Heaven. What was that?

    I bet the producers were salivating at that footage. We just spend twenty minutes watching one of the contestants meticulously painting a giant target on his own back. What was he thinking? He accuses the boys of being masterminds (they’ve been there 48 hours, dude), then turns to the women and tells them off for not playing the game properly. What? As one of his tribemates pointed out, he attacked just about every single person on his own tribe. Has he *watched* the show before? You don’t make waves at the first tribal council. You just don’t. You certainly shouldn’t go out of your way to make enemies at the very first tribal council, either.

    I liked the moment when even JLap couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

    Not really a huge surprise that they immediately knifed him. I would’ve gotten rid of him the very first chance I got, as well. And I don’t think they lost anything of value. Matt was worryingly incompetent at the puzzle challenge (he’s a police officer, for cryin’ out loud). I think his police instincts got the best of him, to be honest. He got spooked, assumed everybody was out to get him … and that was the end of it.

    There must’ve been footage left on the cutting room floor, because on the beach, the plan seemed to be to vote out Steve, but at tribal council, everyone agreed to stick with “the plan” and Matt got ousted. The audience must’ve missed some important scheming, there.

    And I loved how his parting words to the tribe (“Play the game, ladies”) were met with a response from one of the players who knifed him. “We just did.” You go, girlfriend.

    As for the rest of the cast, it’s a bit early to pick a favourite. I want to see Russell eliminated, because that’s always fun. I like the little blond nerd. I like Robbie on the contenders team (but that’s probably just hormones. Is it getting hot in here?). It’s just, there’s about four other tall and buff guys on the contenders team, and at this point, I can’t tell them apart, I thought they were all the same person.

    Mad respect for the ex-special forces guy who lost his legs in the IED explosion. Given his performance in the immunity challenge, was he a sniper? At any rate, I feel bad cheering against him, so, we’ll see how that goes.

    But I admit, I liked the episode more than I thought I would. I’m onboard.

    • Matt did everything but taser his tribe mates.

      Idol hunting Stevie was a goner til Matt opened his trap. Cop that, cop.

      I remember who Russell is now, not that I’ve seen him play. I do wonder how his talk of making people “slaves” went in the USA.

      Why does JPag gives them a flint at the end of TC? They’ve just been given blazing torches to get a fire started with.

      • Someone on Facebook just pointed out, this man should not have a firearm while at work. It’s hard to disagree with that sentiment.

    • Tribal Council was hilarious. I have never seen someone go from nonentity to TARGET so quickly.
      White glasses and Hawaiian shirt Subtle Stevie is annoying so therefore worth keeping for a while, for us. Like how he quickly jumped on the Matt bandwagon too – good read.
      Legless dude (sorry, feel bad not knowing his name) was fantastic. WOW. I read he has trekked Kokoda. Wow. just wow. I very much liked his “i can introduce you to some real heroes” comment. All class.

      • Yeah, Damien’s got such a great story. The problem is, he’s an easy pick at the end for the prize-money, so I suspect he’ll have a massive target on his back (like most hyper-competent castaways do) once the game becomes individual.

        But that’s one of the quirks of Survivor-lore, being targetted because you’re *too* good. There are worse compliments to pay someone.

      • I liked his comment “I am not a hero, I am here because of heroes…” (paraphrased LOL).

        If I was there I would find it very hard to eliminate him, because I already feel emotionally attached.

  6. I like Matt Rogers today because he is also an autism parent except I doubt he is dealing wit the nitty gritty on a daily basis. Hence,survivor

  7. Blonde Paige (sitting on the end at tribal) gives me Kelley Wentworth vibes. The meathead bromance is irritating but it won’t last. I’m glad Steve made it another day because he’s an interesting chap. Is he trying to play a Tai-like character or is that just him? Matt must have done other stuff at camp to have him be the No.2, given one woman was injured and chatty Anita, as an older lady, would usually be a target. Hopefully he watched that tonight and cringed at the way he came across when speaking about the women. As for Russell, yes he’s a douche but he did what the producers no doubt paid him for: found an idol straight away. He does not seem to have much competition in that area from his Champ tribemates.
    Anyone else spot JLap calling Damian a “weapon” in that throwing things at the puzzle challeng?. A tad inappropriate? But we forgive you, JLap – you are getting less wooden each season. I even forgot to look for your bulging arm veins – will have to rewatch

  8. Damn. I didn’t realize it was on. We were busy having a meeting to try and stop Main Roads turning our beautiful paradise residential semi rural bushland, in to a freeway hellhole.
    Highway Go To Hell.

    I’ll catch it next time.

  9. Reminders Survivor is on again tonight and next week for FOUR nights! Watch the audience numbers plummet. And then back to two.

  10. I would assume the producers told Russell where the idol was. Being a lone American without any sporting accolades or notable achievements he would be likely to be first eliminated from the champions. If they have paid him x$ as an appearance fee they would want him to stay around I assume until at least the merge.

    • He was a great Idol finder in the US season I watched. As he said, there is an art to it. They don’t just plonk them in the ground with no rationale.

  11. Well, I thoroughly enjoyed that. I wonder if they are ever going to give people names/chiron thingies? That was a beautiful opening episode. I am so glad it is on four days next week.

    Little Steve turned out to be very endearing. I am so glad he made it through that first tribal, at least. I had forgotten Russel was so dwarflike. Hilarious seeing him stomp through the bush in his shorts and cowboy boots.

    Damien and astophysicist are my new favourites. Too many manly men in the Contenders team, and the women are ridiculous, as paranoid Matt said (the fool!) for not working the game from day 1 and just following the general ruling of the manly men. Mind you, ironic he got himself booted out because he started bitching incessantly about Stevie playing the game – ie looking for an idol! – which is what you really need to do. I quite liked him in his traffic cop scene, too.

  12. Poor Matt didn’t even get a chance to lose his jelly belly. He was carrying on.
    I am very hungover today. Can’t believe I dark Sony he on a Wednesday!

  13. So Russell wants to show us Aussies how to play the game even though he’s played 3 times & never won. If they had to get an American to play there are plenty I would have preferred over Russell.
    So Steve was a goner till Matt shot his mouth off at tribal. Everyone on twitter was saying how racist they were for wanting to vote out the only non white person. Pretty sure that wasn’t why they were voting him out.
    Why do they all carry on like you’re committing a crime if you go looking for idols? That’s what they’re supposed to do.

  14. If it was day 5 of no fire/minimal food youd almost think matt was angling to go home by his speech at tribal but surely not on day 2.

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