1. Hahahahahahaha….first scripted line….”Do we realise how lucky we are here to be tonight?”….

    Trish still has no speaking lines….(hope this pays her mortgage off).

    • She has to wait til the commitment ceremonies to get her one line…’have you been untamut yet? Why iver not?…Not to worry, I wull come over for a private sushen to git u started….so u see Poppy ut’s like thus, really move those hups’ (as she actively has sex with Poppy’s groom)…poor Poppy has flashbacks to her ex husbands terrible ‘accident’.

  2. Judges patting themselves on the back about how well they’ve done. We’ll give it a few weeks.
    Most of them seem to have “big” personalities except for the one with pimples in the shape of southern cross on her face. Proactiv sponsorship awaits.

  3. Poppy (38) was matched with Luke (38) as they are both the same age and have two kids a piece. Poppy is irritating going on and on about her kids.

  4. Poppy is high maintenance. No wonder her husband (the legal one) walked out on her.

    Poppy, it is you. It is all you.

    • I love James Weir. Iโ€™ve missed him.
      I know, he canโ€™t do every reality show but sometimes he is the only thing that makes some shows bearable.

      • All these years I never noticed the macarons on the sexperts’ table.

        This was the highest rating show on fta last night. The clever country for yaz.

        • No wonder you couldn’t see them, they were sitting right beside the sexperts’ dignity, integrity and qualifications.

  5. The formulaic lines have already been rolled out;
    “I have never been so nervous in my whole life”, (says the mum who gave birth to twins).
    and, “”I’m shittin'” moiself”.
    Lips are loik rubber dinghies.

  6. I watched the first episode (I recorded it to check it out after “Survivor”. I know where my priorities lie).

    So. Much. Lip. Filler.

    Seriously, this first episode must’ve exhausted Australia’s entire supply of collagen.

    Anyway, bitchy-mode-off. It all seemed rather awful and contrived. Yes, one of the couples tonight looked very happy with each other, but you just know it’s going to end in disaster. I think the danger of this show is, who are the people who are here to boost their instagram profiles, and who are the people with genuinely tragic back-stories who are just being manipulated by channel 9 into being mocked and humiliated on a contrived TV show?

    I can’t remember her name, but the marine biologist girl? When she was giving her interview, there was this really sad moment when she admitted that boys just didn’t give her much attention, and she honestly had no clue why nobody seemed to like her. She was soft-spoken, but pretty and obviously smart.

    But the show’s not going to help her deal with that, the show’s going to make a circus out of her. And I think, that’s the worst part of this whole mess. At least, it’s the part I don’t like.

    • The marine biologist will be thrown to the relationship lions , just like that virgin with the death wish the other year.

    • He has a very slappable face, doesn’t he?

      Honestly, that’s a TV show I would watch.

      Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! The Survivor All-Stars chasing the MAFS sexperts through that warehouse, while armed with the giant immunity trophy sword! My gosh, give it the Gold Logie right now.

    • I can only see John getting it on with a blow up sex doll.

      Brooke or Quinn could give him a slapping.

  7. The bartender doesn’t understand why people judge her on her tattoos. She does have much real estate left to add to her collection.

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