MKR – Tues, Mar 29 – Miners V Besties

It’s Sudden Death time for Rosie and Paige V Man Bun and Non Man Bun. Go South Straya!

Last time through the doors of Kitchen HQ for ...??

Last time through the doors of Kitchen HQ for …??

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You’d think Besties have this in the bag but Rosie is right – they’ve never felt the pressure of Sudden Death before. No mention of Paige’s injury as yet.
Manu’s back. Dammit. Thought he might have gotten lost on one of his “My France” jaunts and we could have lured The Khoo back.

The Menus
Miners
(who are going with a chilli theme)
Entree: Five spice prawns with papaya salad and coriander dressing (just don’t put honey in the dressing like last night, lads)
Main: Snapper with green chilli coconut broth
Dessert: Doughnuts with chilli chocolate ice cream and rhubarb
All sounds delish if they can cook the seafood properly and balance their flavours.

Besties (Middle Eastern comfort food)
Entree: Cauliflower fritters with yoghurt soz and tabouli
Main: Roast quail with peas, mint and speck
Dessert: Flourless Persian cake with rosewater jelly
Yum, although I’m not mad on rosewater. Prepping quail is going to be tricky for someone with a thumb injury.

Strangely Rosie is not following the strategy of the teams in the last sudden death round of using packet stock and gallons of red wine to make her “juss”. Perhaps that’s why Manu was absent for the movies challenge – too much bad jus-jus.
Jordan yells out to a deboning Paige: “For every quail you do I’ll give you 10 kisses.” She shoots back: “Jordan, I just got slower; it’s weird.” Yep, they need to stay and HOLY MOLEY WHAT IS MANU WEARING?
I only had half an eye on the screen until now and missed the gloriousness of this:

Not even Matt Preston dons purple velvet.

Not even Matt Preston dons purple velvet.


Looks like our main sideline commentators tonight are Carmine (Has Lauren lost her voice? JP and Nelly did mention she had been sick), Zana and Jordan.
Miners and Lovebirds - this is how you make a stock.

Miners and Lovebirds – this is how you make a stock.


Rosie is going like the clappers doing a million jobs while Paige is stuck on Quailgate, and the deboning is sending Paige a bit loopy. Rosie has to tell her to stop mucking around and you can see the stress starting to creep in. Keep it together, girls. These quail better be worth it. Imagine if they spend all this time on them and then overcook the meat.
With about half an hour to go Paige ditches the quail and gives Rosie a hand so they can at least get an entree out.
Over on the Miners’ side Alex is using a mandolin without the safety thingy and I can’t watch because that’s how I ended up in hospital years ago while making a potato bake (there’s a happy ending to the story – none of the blood got on the potato bake).
Luckily Gareth realises he forgot to put garlic in the curry paste. If I was Alex I’d be tasting everything Gareth was in charge of.
Gareth starts cooking their tempura prawns and – god love him – says he is “chooffed” with himself.
Plating up is done in the usual rush and both dishes look tasty.


Entree judging: The judges love the prawns and the dish as a whole, but wish they’d bammed up the chilli.
And they love the girls’ dish. Fass: “Cauliflower is the new rock star vegetable of the world at the moment.” Pete says it’s slightly better than the prawns.

Mains round
Paige gets back on to those damn quail while Rosie starts the cake. The boys were smart to choose something that could just simmer away.

Will it be worth it?

Will it be worth it?


Alex is doing a steam test of a snapper fillet (smart) while Gareth very slowly makes choux for their dessert, much to the frustration of the onlookers, who seem to regard him as an adorable doofus.
The girls are quite late getting their potato in the oven and they are freaking out over getting a main up. As Rosie says: “Ultimately, this could really change my family’s life.” Good to see them using frozen peas at least rather than wasting time shelling freshies but uh oh – Page forgot the quail. Use your timers! Have a Fuze tea and calm down.
The boys cut their fish to shorten the cooking time but they haven’t really tested the new size, plus they are adding even more chilli.
As they plate up Manu yells out: “Be generous with the soz – I love it!”
I know it’s edited to make each course look like it came down to the wire, but it genuinely looked as though the Besties just scraped in there.


Time for judging
I was going to pick the boys’ curry as my choice to taste – until they chucked chilli flakes over everything. Let’s see what the judges say.
Fass says the quail leg is great but the breast is a bit over. Pete loves the peas and Karen loves the jus. They give props for the quail deboning. “I was sold when I tried the jus,” says Manu.
On to the snapper. Guy: “I feel like I’ve just been punched in the face with this dish … in a really good way.” Liz says the fish has been respected. The other teams seem to prefer the snapper.

Dessert time
Gareth gets out the choux he made before and it’s gone crusty. Did he not cling wrap it? Ditch it, Man Bun! You can make a new choux. Choux life!
Rosie’s rosewater jelly does look pretty. Hope it doesn’t taste soapy.

I don't think you're ready for this jelly ... my cake is just delicious.

I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly … my cake is just delicious.


Paige is making pistachio praline, so of course chucks a nut at Jordan on the sidelines. (Windsong is going to be sooo happy with all the Jordan screentime tonight. I reckon he looked better with shorter hair, though.)
Insert whatever filthy comment pops into your head.

Insert whatever filthy comment pops into your head.


Rosie manages to make mascarpone butter and Gareth is overcrowding the teeny fryer with his dough balls. At least they’ve done a rhubarb sauce to go with them, and rhubarb is always a winner in my books.
And then Curly Laura notices something is awry.
What's wrong with this picture?

What’s wrong with this picture?


The sidelines teams must not be allowed to yell out warnings, although surely that would add to the drama. So the Miners chomp through their “tester”, not realising it’s a balls up. No worries – just give that one to Pete. But, crisis averted, the boys notice and Alex scrapes out enough from the saucepan to make another ball.
The girls’ plating isn’t amazing and they decide to ditch the Persian fairy floss, which I think gave a nice height to the plate.
On or off?

On or off?


The boys’ dessert is the most visually appealing.


Dessert judging
Colin: “It’s a little bit doughy.” Karen likes the playfulness of it and the flavour combo. They love the ice cream, but the doughnuts were inconsistently cooked.
Guy loves the girls’ cake. Liz is impressed with their restrained use of rosewater in the jelly. Pete thought the cake looked boring but he loved the taste.

The scoring
Miners:
The snapper is Fass’s dish of the day. They get props for everything except the doughiness of their doughnuts and going too easy on the spice in the entree. Manu loooved that ice cream: “Pack it – sell it into shops.”
Who’d have thought after their last few shockers they’d do so well. Well done, boys.
Guy 9, Fass 7, Liz 8, Karen 8, Pete 8, Manu 9. Total: 49/60

Besties:
The girls are stoked to hear Manu say their jus was beautiful. It’s all positive, apart from Fass mentioning the overcooked quail breast.
Guy 9, Fass 8, Liz 9, Karen 8, Pete 9, Manu 9. Total: 52/60

SA Besties win and Pete utters what could be the kiss of death for them: “If I was the other teams I’d be looking at you as a real threat.”

Say what, Pete?

Say what, Pete?


Bye-bye, Miners! You can go back to wearing collarless shirts that fit your chests and biceps properly.
bye

Tomorrow night’s challenge is a barbecue one and it will be fun watching Zana try not to scream if a cow goes near her. Or a bird. Or a clod of dirt. And we are teased up for a big shortcut scandal involving the Chopses. Looks like they might have used a bottle of something in their marinade. We hear Fass berate them and Mrs Chops whispering to hubby: “Why didn’t you hide it?” Oh dear – just when they had redeemed themselves after RSL Jar-gate.

Colin "Jar Police" Fassnidge is on the case.

Colin “Jar Police” Fassnidge is on the case.

ENDS



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52 Comments

  1. Coriander dressing, is that Tasia and Garcia recipe?

    Miners didn’t disappoint There is chocolate in the dessert

  2. There was a slight moment of hilarity when one of the Besties said that cooking against the miners made them “nervous”.

    It was like, really girls? Have you watched the miners cook?

    • It’s actually quite hard to imagine anything more confidence building than facing the miners in sudden death. Maybe a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.

      Still can’t remember who “won” last year. Watched it all. No spoilers, gice. Let me dig deep.

  3. No more looking like dickheads in tight shirts,fellas. Your place or mine?

    Given gloves and tongs and clean hands, these boys could go a long way. Me, all that dressing being drizzled back into a bowl via bandaged hands being wrung,that’s a deal breaker. Shafted by those miners again.

    I felt there was a real chef behind the curtain , making the miners’ meals. Were they on performance enhancing drugs? All comp they’ve been shite, now overnight sensations.

  4. “(Windsong is going to be sooo happy with all the Jordan screentime tonight. I reckon he looked better with shorter hair, though.)”

    I did notice that Jordan did receive a huge amount of screen-time from the peanut gallery, tonight. I’m not complaining, though. At least he’s entertaining (you know, I tried to make a joke about the thrown-nut moment, but I just thought, no…). Would we rather have been listening to Lauren and Carmine all night?

    As for his longer hair, well I still think he’s beautiful, but it gives you an indication of how long they’ve been filming, at this point.

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      • I’d imagine they either filmed that last, or first (and then he got a haircut before they all started doing their IR rounds). I do agree he looks nicer with shorter hair. But I’d love him any which way :).

  5. I promise after an intensive week of Lauren and Zana we will all want the Teenage Mutant Ninja Miners back.

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  6. OMG – people are going nuts on Facebook over the Miners being eliminated, saying it’s rigged and they won’t watch the show again. As if !

  7. Thanks for the recap Juz. Lovely to see a “smoking jacket” on prime-time TV….NOT I think he’s worn it before.
    Has there ever been a countdown where one team were left standing there with nothing plated?

      • I think I’ve seen it before, too. He rubbed it in with a purple tie as well. Looked like a French Barney The Dinosaur holding up score cards. Fail.

        He lacks the jowls , cravat and silver tongue to carry his homage off.

    • Liberty, I can remember at least one where an element was missed. Not so much running out of time, but completely forgetting something. I would love to see them show a team who manages their time so well, that they are finished with five minutes to spare and spend the time relaxing or watching the other team.

  8. The boys will be fine once they realise no one can actually force them back into the mines. Surprising as it was that they lasted this far, I felt a bit sorry for them coming second. And weren’t they gracious in defeat.

    At least there will be no more lascivious looks and jokes about the boys’ “guns”. That sexist drivel would not have flown if the objects of fascination were one of the women’s breasts. MKR seems to be making a concerted effort this season to appeal to the lowest common denominator. That is tacky and I’m tired of it.

    Juz, various sphincters of mine tightened up when that miner was speed-slicing on the mandolin. I was afraid everyone’s pet hate, fingers in the food, would have a more literal meaning tonight.

    • No, it definitely is one of the more interesting double standards. But look at how a lot of the teams end up fawning after Manu and Pete and Colin. I don’t care for it that much either, but it’s not like they don’t make a habit of doing this.

  9. Were last night’s meals worth on average two points more than Zana and plus one, and the italians meals? I don’t think so. Makes the scoring a bit of a joke.

    Re Paige’s injury – it didn’t seem to cause her any trouble. During the cook she had a blue bandage on the right thumb, but none in the confessionals. I was trying to see the injury (in the confessional) but all there was, was a paler thumb. I wonder why she needed a huge bandage and sling the other night.

    • Judges gave higher scores last night. What is with the judges this year. Keeping using the phrase – the fish was respected.

      The snapper was just steam. Same with Lauren salmon. Just crispy skin salmon.

      The green curry broth did look delicious but the judges didn’t mention about the rice was not served separately but in the broth. Even the so call recipe from the Miners on website served the rice separately.

        • Hey. The fish was steamed with “love”. The miners steamed from the heart. Hence the high scores.

          You know it makes sense.

      • I was wondering why the broth was so delicious without a stock. I must have missed it or they didn’t show. It was made with fish stock. Did the Miners make their own fish stock when that broth is the star of the dish?

  10. If Zana and Lauren were in the cook off and the boys were drooling over their booty and asking each other which one… do you think that would fly? Seriously was pathetic by channel 7 to focus on guns and lust last night.

  11. Curley was singled out by producers to drool over the miners muscles. I was amazed at the hoohaa on FB over miners being booted. Don’t the young girls on there realize they can’t cook. Paige said on Sunrise yesterday that she was still having a lot of pain the day they did the movie night.

  12. Sprinkling dried chilli over the finished dish was so flaky, miners. Extra heat? No way in hell. It would contribute only an unpleasant texture.
    I was dining out as the episode aired so I was rapt that your recap was up when I got home, Juz. Then I settled down to watch the recording.

    • After the mediocrity of the Miners V Lovebirds sudden death the judges must have been so delighted to have edible food they went a bit cuckoo with the scoring. Even Fass gave the girls an 8.

    • It was “sudden death” ~ of scoring honesty and integrity. The word from the producers to polish the unpolishable must have gone around, surely. If it glitters , it’s not gold, it’s just a MKR cook off…. down to the wire ,stand back from yer plates hoedown.

      The peanut gallery is like a Bay City Rollers concert atmosphere. “Come on , guys. You can do it !”

      How many times?

      I had a bad feeling the fix was in after Guy Grossi blurted his initial “nine”.

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