So Nine has pushed MAFS out of the Monday and Tuesday timeslot (where it was a ring in for a flailing Reno Rumble) to go up against the House Rules premiere on Wednesday. Oh, and we’re at the finale already!
Let’s see how it pans out for them – Nine needs a win after a string of ratings duds this year. And Seven will miss the MKR juggernaut, which has been watched by about 1.4 million people each episode.
— MarriedAtFirstSight (@MarriedAU) 24 April 2016
Chat away – what do you think the “surprise announcement” is?
Over to Daisy for another great recap:
The big finale tonight has us hoping that love might survive the massive obstacles that the sexperts somehow missed; like living in different states and wanting completely different lifestyles, like wanting a family versus not wanting kids, like wanting to spend quality time together versus wanting to make love to the mirror, and like wanting to fix a man and put a dog collar and pink cravat on him versus not wanting to be someone’s project.
Tonight the remaining three couples spend their last day and night together before splitting to reflect on their relationship. And we kick off, literally, with Simone and Xavier. Having considered Simone’s request for a little affection and some quality time, Xavier decides to look after number one and take Simone to HIS favourite thing; a football game. Anyone recalling the Dirty Street Pie fiasco? But kudos to Simone, she steps up and gets into the game. Now if only Xavier can lift HIS game. Simone, ditch this selfish narcissist. If it’s a chore to spend quality time together in weeks 1-4, forget spending a lifetime together. Xavier eventually does something a bit nice for Simone and buys pizza, then gives himself an A+ for romance and effort.
Thoughtful Mark on the other hand, is still treating Christie like a queen. That’s how it’s done Xavier. Mark’s magic is working on Christie. They are frollicking on the farm, and bonding. Meanwhile Erin and Bryce’s domestic harmony continues with some help from Betty Crocker. Yes, Erin, you can make a cake without an electric mixer…… or mobile phone. Anyhow, in good yuppy form, the love bunnies end up eating at a local restaurant instead.
About now we get some blah, blah, blah from the sexperts, just to remind us that this is a serious, bona fide, social experiment and that our couples are actually lab rats. Or love rats. Or lab, love rats. Each couple has their hurdle to overcome and we are in suspense….will they or won’t they? It’s kind of cruel really, to put couples together to attach, knowing that each have huge obstacles to making it work. I am guessing they all had questionnaires to complete with important questions such as, “Do you want kids?”
Couples return to face the inqusition from the panel of sexperts, who just seem like silly, pompous know-alls. Xavier is first cab off the rank and I am expecting him to say he is nervous, but no, he is quietly confident. Afterall, what woman could resist. I am closely watching, and Simone’s body language is not telling me we have a match. It’s a bit sad to watch Xavier’s face fall as Simone diplomatically explains that she doesn’t consider him ready to share his life, or the mirror. But this is good for Xavier because now he might learn to be less selfish and cocky.
Next Bryce and Erin step up to the plate. Erin is so nervous she breaks out in red blotches so she looks like a red and white dalmation. But not to worry; loving Bryce is willing to overlook the kids issue and keep his little cuddle bunny. His mum might not be thrilled. Then Christie and Mark wrestle with the head over heart decision of relocating for love. Again it looks like the sexperts got it so wrong, but Mark is willing to sacrifice Green Acres for love in the Big Smoke. So it looks like Happily Ever After for two of our couples……..or is it…….?
Two months later, we see Erin has gone back to buying shoes, texting and partying, but she got to keep agreeable, compliant, nurturing Bryce, so it seems she can have it all. I see an rtv show for Erin, “Baby Grows Up”, where 20 somethings learn to become grown-ups. Erin says she is cooking now with a kitchen aid. I think she means her mum moved in. Erin is finally coming around to the idea of having kids……and botox by 31. 😒 I think Erin’s best quality is her cheeky, and at times self-effacing funny sense of humour. At the start she seemed like a diva, but at the end, she was a darling.
Xavier has healed and has learned not to treat women like crap. Only women with really low self-esteem take crumbs, Xavier. Simone has recovered too, and is doing brunch in an affluent part of town with her affluent looking girl friends. Simone will be alright. She’s stunning, domesticated and seems nice.
Clare and Jono make a reappearance to tell viewers how they feel two months down the track. Clare is back with Fugly and Pugsly and they have adopted Lurch. Jono confides that he felt like more of one of Clare’s rescue dogs than a boyfriend. Clare denies it but hides the man size dog collar and pink cravat she had especially made for him. Clare is getting all her boyfriends from the pound from now on. In fact she has started dating the local dog ranger. Jono regrets nothing and is still looking for love and someone to decorate his very barren apartment.
To finish on a high note, the producers save Christie and Mark for last. They are still an item, still frollicking on the farm and chasing chooks, but Mark is willing to give it all up for love and head to the city to wear suits, sell vacuum cleaners or insurance and sire lots of babies for Nanna and Pop.
And now that we all believe in true love everlasting, tv programmers have offered us up The Notebook. Or the cynics among us can go google to see who has broken up already. Thankyou fellow MAFS viewers for reading my recaps and sharing your insights. Adios, goodnight and don’t let the love bug bite.