Married at First Sight premiere

It’s back!ย I only saw two minutes of last year’s series, and given the PG timelslot I imagine a lot of people will tune in for the first ep and then bail.
Do you think any couples are still together?

Chat away – guest recap coming later from WA correspondent Daisyย as I’ll be watching the Chopses flail on MKR.

AND OVER TO DAISY – thank you!
The premiere tonight begins with last year’s success story; cute couple Zoe and Alex. They are being blissfully domestic, and hoping for babies. But please, Zoe, teach Alex it’s “Zoe and I….” Then we are introduced to the three supposed sexperts, who will use science, charts and body odour to match the couples.

Then we are introduced to pretty 39 year old, business owner Christie. She seems to have had it all, great life, loving family, but she is getting desperate to have kids, and her dad is ready for grandkids. He has offered to foot the bill for egg freezing. Christie values humour, positivity and requires chemistry. Her partner is FIFO and now farmer, Mark, and we all now straightaway know that there is a back-up plan for Mark, in Farmer Wants a Wife.
Then we meet retail manager, “on-line dating fiend” and self-confessed rude person, Erin, who has her own slave; her mother. Her mum makes her toast, then wipes her bum for her. Erin claims to sabotage her own dates. She is matched with mild-mannered Bryce. The experts gave him to Erin because he sniffed her dirty clothes and liked it.

Then we see the brides and grooms-to-be break the news to their families and friends who generally approve of the crazy decision to marry a stranger on TV. Erin tries on wedding gowns, and luckily with help from her friends Tig and Laura, because the bffs notice Erin’s first choice of gown has a falopian tube design on her crotch. Then we see Erin open up to camera and have a little cry. She “really wants this to work”.
The brides and grooms get dressed and groomed for the wedding. Everyone is getting nervous. Erin wants a truck load of make-up. Bryce won’t even be able to see her until she washes her face. Erin has already shown she is a potty-mouth. “Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t, sh*t”.
Christie and Mark meet and marry on a ferry on Sydney harbour on a perfect sunshine and lollipops day. Mark is so stunned by beautiful Christie that he tears up. Christie is so underwhelmed that she soon starts throwing up. Christie’s Dad thinks Mark is too short and starts thawing eggs.

Erin makes sure she gets plenty of attention by having a pre-wedding diva-like melt down. She keeps groom and guests waiting while she performs for the camera, but manages an entrance after another swig of champagne. She does the stupid face fan, but she has a great figure in that wedding doily. Luckily for Bryce, Erin takes to him like a duck to water. I just hope he can make toast. Then they have the photo shoot which forces some intimacy. Erin and Bryce are up for it, as is Mark, but Christie is handling it like a trip to the dentist to have four molars out without pain killers.
On the ferry, things go from bad to worse as Christie gets sicker….but then things turn a corner as Mark shows how great his nursing skills are, and Christie stops throwing up in her mouth. Then, back inside, Mark impresses everyone with his speech and daggy dancing, although Christie’s Dad was making snake eyes.
Question: did the producers know that Christie gets sea sick? An onboard wedding wasn’t a good idea.

Over at Erin and Bryce’s party, Erin is loving the attention. She is schmoozing with the guests and swearing like a sailor. She talks trash about the “fake t*tty table”, then smiles and waves. Later she greets them at their fake t*tty table and the girls ask, “Will you f*ck tonight”. Erin likes the polite way they asked, so replies, “Not on the table”, or was that “Not off the table”. And that just left the fake blonds, with their fake boobs, and their fake brains, confused.
Erin then makes a speech where she pretty much confesses that she is a bitch, while Bryce beams at her proudly. Bryce is undeterred by the red flags. Is this Erin already sabotaging their relationship?
Now to the honeymoon suite. This is where I really show how old-fashioned I am……eeew. You are on telly! Anyhow, as soon as Christie flops face down on the bed, she is putting out a clue; “no sex tonight”. Then she leaves no room for doubt by making a cushion wall down the middle of the bed. Initially hopeful Mark, gets the message.
Eager Erin, on the other hand, wasted no time. She handled that camera man like someone schooled at the Russel Crowe school of Papparazi camera smashing, and threw him out with her hand over the camera lens. And placid Bryce probably wasn’t so placid that night. ๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜๐Ÿ’˜



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68 Comments

  1. I have sent in a recap, but here are a few screen grabs to keep you going.

    No surprise that cute couple Zoe and Alex were shown showing off their domestic bliss…….and renovating skills. If only Alex didn’t say, “Me and Zoe…..”

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  2. First we meet business owner Chrissie. She has the bar set high. She’s attractive, comes from an attractive family and clearly wants an attractive, successful guy.

    She wants chemistry.

      • Yes, that’s what I think. It might also stop me calling my friends rude names such as “fake anything”. Both girls seemed to be raised with a sense of entitlement.

        • She was horrible! It’s these types of 20 somethings that are the fame-whore look at me social media wanna-bees.

          I won’t pretend that I don’t have it good as a 20 something but I sure do not behave like these types of girls. Yuk. I stopped swearing after high school and don’t enjoy the company of potty mouths.

    • Wow.. this seems kind of common from my experience with mums who act more like grandmas towards their kids. My mum stopped making my breakfasts or lunches for school after primary school…

    • The makers of this dress will redesign after their dress was compared on tv to a diagram of a female reproductive system. Still the big knob on her “lady parts” was never a good idea. Not unless there was an arrow and a sign saying, “Try me”.

      • Thanks. Perhaps Bryce made a head start. It was funny the way she was discussing with her friends about whether or not, she and Bryce would, as they all put it “f*ck”. She remembered to give Bryce a say.

        They were chatting about it like they were discussing shopping.

      • Yes. That’s what I thought. Her wedding speech was entirely about herself.
        She should give the speech at her own funeral. Then it would be OK.

        • It should send warning bells. Love how the experts waxed about her ‘wall’ as a justification and an excuse for a lot of her bad behaviour. The speech should be about hopes for the ‘experiment’ and not ‘I’m a bitch. Deal with it.”

          • I am guessing the wall means stuck up. I only let those deemed worthy in.
            No sign of that wall when she was schmoozing at the reception and telling all the girls about her sexual plans for the evening. She didn’t even like those girls. Clearly she thought they were beneath her.

      • She did a great job of trying to convince us that she was the real victim of her behaviour.. It’s a tough life being a spoilt b*itch, c’mon guys! Cut her some slack!

        Those girls will all stay “friends” bc they aren’t really friends anyway. “Pretty” girls just amass to look cool.

  3. These mothers were like two parrots echoing each others parrot noises.
    “Very nice”. “Yes very nice”. “Well matched”. “Yes, well matched”. “Polly want a cracker”. ” Yes, cracker”.
    Still, they can be forgiven. They aren’t professionals.

  4. Thank you for the recap. I enjoyed it. At least spoiled girl seemed to be making an effort (after making it to the alter), Chrissie on the other hand….. I’m not sure that it was all seasickness. I can’t imagine the feeling, maybe similar to going to the hairdressers, getting a radical new style then bitterly regretting it. Run home, place pillow over head!
    I was surprised the ratings were so low. Channel nine ditched the afternoon Reno Rumble repeat for MAFS.

    • Thanks, Liberty.
      I think Chrissie still has the bar set too high. It’s time to take it down a notch, unless she wants to run with Daddy’s plan. They can send away to Malta for some good stock sperm.
      I don’t think poor old, optimistic Mark with his big teeth, big jaw and underbite stands a chance. But he seemed a nice guy, and if I was on the shelf at 39 I wouldn’t “swipe him”. Is that what she said? She would have swiped him across at first glance. Wake up Princess. Tick. Tick. Tick.

      • I don’t think he is punching above his weight with her. Now if he was rich, he could also be bald and fat. I thought she looked old ๐Ÿ˜›

      • I think Chrissie has read one too many Mills and Boon. I don’t think there will be ‘chemistry’ unless he is tall, dark, brooding, and in possession of an extremely healthy wallet.

  5. I liked Erin. I thought she was a bit fragile (and desperate) and that gave her a motor mouth. I suspect the potty mouth is an entertaining side effect.
    I hope it works between her and the boring… whoops, laid back guy (LBG). Let’s see how easy going he still is in a couple of weeks, although I am sure that all the nookie without the wooing will keep him calm.
    I read an interview with her after she watched the first episode where she said she was surprised at how intense she came across. If the show does nothing else, it has given her a valuable insight. Lucky next guy.

    • I reckon you’re right about the insight, Bob. I just wonder how they choose what feedback to listen to and what to ignore. It’s a dilemma commenting frankly when people might read. My sisters were telling me that on social media people say terrible things, like “You should die”. But then if Erin is as sm experienced as she says, I suppose she will navigate through the good and ignore the bad. I will always lampoon, but hopefully it’s taken just for that.

  6. I didn’t watch, but your recap was very entertaining, Daisy.

    Someone needs to tell Chrisite that the 1950’s called, and they want their morals back. If she is so desperate to have children, there is nothing to stop her doing so without getting married first.

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