MKR – Wed – Zana and Plus One cook

Just a quick recap as I watch tonight. I’m thinking Zana and Gianni will be safe and it will be bye bye, Curlies. And remember there is more MKR tomorrow night.
And I reckon the weird thing Manu was holding up is a picked clean fish skeleton (totally stolen from my friend) and again they’ve tweaked the edit to amp up the drama. MKR lurves a good fake out.

Just got off a olane? As if.

Just got off a plane? As if.

Adriatic seafood stew
Sardines with capers, olives and bread (yep – this is totally what Manu is holding up)

What eez eet?

What eez eet?

Burek cigars with figs and goat’s cheese (yum!)
Spiced lamb loin with chestnut puree and mushroom tart (doesn’t sound like their usual traditional fare)
Nondaja’s tespixhe with citrus salad (Zana says it’s a semolina cake/biscuit with syrup and is “an acquired taste”. So, risky.)
Black Mountain chocolate molten lava cake

Zana is making filo pastry for both mains. That’s a huge job – and a huge risk.
The guests arrive to the strains of Rita Ora’s Poison (let’s hope that’s not a sign of things to come).
I can hear you all cringing as Lauren says: “These peeps are totes cashed up.”
Everyone’s dressed like they are going to a wedding and some of it’s not pretty (as per MKR stylist tradition).





Aspiring magician

Aspiring magician

Early 90s dress which makes her look abut 40

Early 90s dress which makes her look about 40

Zana and Gianni seem to be under control with their prep, but I pity poor Plus One trying to wash dishes and not ruin his crisp white cuffs.
The judges enter to the sound of Boom Clap by Charli XCX and Manu is back in the plum velvet jacket.

In the kitchen Zana is cooking the sardines and Gianni gets out the prawns, so of course we cut to Laura saying she’s not mad keen on seafood. She is right in that it is unusual to have two seafood dishes for entree, but she’s definitely providing the editors with ammo for her new sore loser edit. Still, she’s only 19 and it must be hard to “fail” on national TV, then have to sit through several more instant restaurants through gritted teeth when you know you’re probably going home.
Plus One tries to come the raw prawn but Zana doesn’t trust him and catches them in time. He stands by his call, though.

That's the biggest prawn I've ever seen.

That’s the biggest prawn I’ve ever seen.

Foolishly they did not get any spare seafood so can’t taste one. Why oh why does this still happen? MKR is paying – buy a bucketful of prawns!

Time to chew

Pete laboriously peels his mega prawn and for a germaphobe it seems Zana is happy to ingest prawn poo because it’s “traditional”.
Manu loves sardines and, yes, that was a sardine skeleton he held up. But he thinks the dish lacked salt, which horrifies Zana given it had olives and capers in the sauce. However, they have been criticised for their lack of seasoning in the past.
Pete gets a bit aggro at them serving such a messy seafood dish when everyone is so dressed up. Surely if they’d modernised it they’d be bagged out for messing with tradition. This smacks of them trying to ramp up the tension to make a Laura V Zana cliffhanger. He says they should have cleaned the prawn and it lacked salt. “Apart from that it’s a smashing dish.” The seafood was cooked well (good one, Plus One). Zana wilts under the criticism.

Back in the kitchen
They’re organised with their mains but they do look more like entrees and – filo pastry making aside – rather simple. Before we know it it’s …

Time to chew

Pete, who had the burek cigars, says his burek was dry. The textures didn’t work and it was “average”.

Zana'a freaking out.

Zana’a freaking out.

Luckily, Manu “can’t fault” his lamb and chestnut dish.

Back in the kitchen, it’s on to dessert. Zana is happy with her squeegie dish (apologies to any Montenegran readers) and brushes off Plus One’s concern that the mascarpone is bland. He’s ready to tip out his molten lava caka AKA chocolate fondant, which must be the most troublesome dessert for cooking shows – perhaps after ice cream and panna cotta. It looks good but a cake, some ice cream and a coulis is a bit basic compared with some other team’s efforts.

Time to chew

Pete had the choc cake and says it was moist and rich, while not super lava-like. “This, is a great dessert. Strongest dish of the night for me.” Go Plus One!
Manu doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings because he knows it’s her grandma’s recipe “but I didn’t really enjoy it”. Ouch. He says it’s all rather savoury tasting (and, yes, Plus One was right on the mascarpone). Zana is totes devo.
The other teams who got the squeegee are looking longingly at the lava cake. Anna says it’s like cardboard.

We’re back in Kitchen HQ for the scoring, but first a reminder of the scores thus far. leaderboard

Entree Manu (sardines) 8; Pete (seafood stew) 8
Main Manu (lamb with chesnut) 10; Pete (burek) 5
Dessert Manu (squeegee) 3; Pete (choc cake) 9
Total 43/60
Teams: 28/40 Total: 71

This woman could do Pantene commercials.

This woman could do Pantene commercials.

Laura (who again they’ve applied make up to like she is 50, not 19) tears up, wishing she’d done MasterChef instead. Perhaps they’ll open a farm kitchen at their folks’ place. bye

Tomorrow night:S It’s the semi finals, with the Sisters V Zana and Plus One. Surely the Sisters will ace it, although they’ve never been in sudden death, so that’s a disadvantage. We know from the ad some cracker dishes are served up and the Fass sing’s someone’s praises, so it must really be good.



  1. Oh great, “totes” and “peeps” are back.

    Meanwhile, the more confident Laura gets (in the face of incoming disaster from Zana and Gianni, apparently), the less likeable she gets.

      • I have an anger problem this week. I wanted to jump through the tv and smack Lauren’s smug face. Lucky I’m not getting blood pressure checked this week.

    • Congrats, producers, you were successful in turning the edit against Laura. Really upped the game last night with four hundred shots of her with a neutral expression, inserted into places where it could be interpreted as negative. Coupled with another four hundred of Lauren passing judgement on Laura.

      • Indeed, it’s almost as though they’d decided they wanted us to think that the Curlies deserved all they got. Frankly they need a Sudden Death to decide the last place in the semifinals. The great advantage of a sudden death round is that you don’t go out on one bad night.

        My impression is that Mitch does a lot to keep Laura centred. When he had to dash off for cream she appeared to be doing a lot of fussing and worrying and not much cooking. Perhaps by the time Mitch got back their fate was sealed.

  2. Welcome back TH. like the sound of the menu. I am not liking Laura since their cook went bad. I am already over Lauren and peeps, totes, etc. tonight she has been hammering it. What the heck is Jordan wearing. Sorry Windsong but not his best look.

    • Actually, I’m completely with you on that one. That red vest doesn’t look good on him, at all. They’ve also smushed his hair down with way too much gel. Yikes!

      And I normally love Jordan whatever he’s wearing (or, indeed, if he’s not wearing much at all! Ala that photoshoot he did with DNA where he was shirtless but for the MKR apron).

  3. Hi TH
    The sisters are young and unless they behaved badly while I wasn’t watching they have always conducted themselves well. I’d like to see them win just to watch their celebration.

    • Hi JB I agree about the sisters. I like them a lot. They are so humble and gracious. And Gracia could be my dil’s twin.

    • T&G might squeal but they are a delight. They have not been offensive and always enthusiastic, prepared to try something new. They have been fair, if not generous, with their scoring, favouring taste over plating etc Taste & Grace for me.

      • They make me laugh all the time because they are so funny. They are so happy when the food they ate are really good.

        It will be a good final if we have the Sisters against Anna and Jordan

    • While I like the girls, over time I’ve found their critiques of the food to be too indiscriminate. They have loved everything served to them – a mouldy sock probably would have been greeted as enthusiastically.

      It seems that they have eaten very little food that wasn’t asian. So many dishes have been a surprise to them, they had never had them before.

  4. Oh screw you channel 7. The advertised moment of Manu holding up something? It was the bones of the sardine after he’d inhaled the rest of it, so apparently it was a *good* thing.

    • Haha and I called it an old whore’s garter and “Manu inhaled the rest of it” πŸ˜› on the floor p*ssing myself

  5. Unfortunately I think it will be Anna and Jordan vs Sisters (should have been in the finals) in SF.

    We will get Zana VS Lauren in the other SF

    • I am so glad I am wrong. But we may get a Zama/Lauren final!!!

      I read earlier in some report that Zama will share her prize money with the runner up. She is not thinking of Lauren?

  6. The semi-finals are coming, in case you missed the ads at every commercial break πŸ˜‰
    Zana plus one deserved to get through. Curlies shouldn’t have pushed it so much during their home cook.
    Gees, tomorrow – Zana plus 1 vs sisters.

  7. Yeah, they survived (by a fair amount, too, beating the Curlies by 11 points). At least they put Jordan in a decent shirt when they got back to Kitchen HQ. At any rate, that means tomorrow night it’s Zana/Gianni versus the sisters.

    And then next Monday, Anna/Jordan versus Lauren and Carmine.

    There could legitimately be a Zana/Lauren showdown in the grand final, which would really suck. I guess I would most like to see Anna and Jordan take on the sisters, but a grand final of A/J versus Z/G is not out of the question either (given that somebody burns something tomorrow night).

    Ah, the business end of the season. Bring it on.

  8. Manu didn’t like the tesphixe….but he sure wolfed down the lot.

    Laura looks like Bette Midler tonight.

  9. I am getting sick of judges (MC included) about lack of seasoning. If they are referring to salt, please add more yourself.

    • A tough call LP. I agree. We get it rammed down our throats all the time that we should reduce our salt intake. Got to be an oxymoron, un-salty sardines? I notice they never have salt and pepper on the table. Never been to a fancy restaurant where I’ve had to ask for it!

  10. I’ll be so pissed off if it’s a Zana v Lauren final – I won’t bother watching if it is. I would love to see a sisters v A/J but this is ch7 I’ll most likely be disappointed.

  11. I hope the sisters win. They and Anna and Jordan (although he is a bit too cocky at times) are my two favorite teams.
    Lauren is funny but too many “totes” last night. I really hope it is not being set up for a ZG vs LC finale.
    Anyone know how each team scored ZG? I am thinking that the Curlies might have been fair with their scoring based on the total but maybe not.

  12. I thought Pete’s scores were ridiculous, particularly the 9 for a molten lava cake that was a lava free zone. Essentially that’s a 9 for a basic chocolate cake.

    • The lava cake is still very ‘wet’ in the middle. If you say you are serving a chocolate cake with such moist centre, some will say it is undercooked.

  13. Once again, nitpicking for the team where the expectations are high.

    I was bemused by Pete saying that the pastry for the main was ‘not good’ whereas Manu said it was perfect on the other dish. Wasn’t it the same batch?

    We always eat prawns with the poop shoot, unless we are peeling before cooking. I’d much rather eat that, than liver or brains. I thought that they usually purge the prawns anyway. Maybe that is only farmed prawns because they put them in clean water to live for a few days.

    Molten lava cake = uncooked cake dough. Just shows fine dining is all about perception.

    • I thought the same thing about the pastry. That made no sense, IMO. The only thing I can think of is that the mushrooms had a sauce and maybe that helped maintain moisture in the pastry as opposed to the drier looking mince.

      I really wish that the judges would hold off commenting on the food until after everybody has eaten. The contestants have a tendency to just repeat what the judges have said.

      • In the earlier seasons, judges do comment only after everyone has eaten but aired in reverse order. We could pick empty plates when the judges were critiquing. The cameramen will try their best not to show the half eaten food.

        I haven’t watch closely now and editing may be better not to reveal the empty plates.

        • I’ve been watching closely for this, after it was mentioned in a past season, and I haven’t been able to see any evidence this time. It is hard to know who is echoing who? Maybe the judges are summarising what they have heard from the teams?

          It’s all part of the lack of transparency in this show.

          • I watched again. This time the teams food still untouched when the judges were critiquing.

            There is only so many way to critique a dish. Also lots of help from script writers. Even the way the judges critiquing the food are so scripted. So doesn’t matter who copy who.

            Yes, it is annoying when reality show is not really reality

          • of course using “reality” to describe these shows is pure spin. It was invented when they didn’t want to call them “game shows” because that seemed old-fashioned. Very clever.

            Re the scripting – that’s why I like Colin so much. He’s either a better actor than the others, or they give him more latitude to speak normally.

  14. I think they were two different pastries. She rolled the first lot out for the cigars then made the second lot for the tarts. I’m fairly sure that was the case.

    Poor female curly thinking it may come down to one point between them, sorry it was a good ten points wasn’t it? It was almost embarrassing watching her trying to convince the other diners of all her pre-conceived problems with the food, dry bread, for one.

    I’m really looking forward to tonight and finding it hard to call a winner, they are two excellent teams.
    I just hope the sisters have been practising their desserts.

    • I thought she made one big batch, rolled it into discs and stacked them with butter between. She then put one pile on one plate, the other pile on another and let them sit, covered, till needed. She then used one plateful for each meal. Maybe she was more heavy-handed rolling out one lot. Or as suggested above, the poor filling for the sausage roll things just made it taste drier?

      • Sounds like you were watching much more closely than I was Fijane so fair enough, it was the same batch then.
        As you say it could have been due to a number of things.

  15. At least there are now a finite number of times we will hear “Going home is not an option.”, because unless you’ve just been announced the winner, yes, yes it is.

    Female Curly looking like one of the Andrews Sisters amused me, but her smirking and smugness was annoying, so off you go kiddo.

    Who would have thought perfectionist picky mysophobic Zana would leave the shit tubes in the prawns. It was hard enough watching Pete make such a big frigging drama of trying to eat his prawn, but then Manu had to wave his fish bone around. Eat your food or don’t; don’t play with it.

    I almost switched off after a couple of minutes, the first time Lauren opened her foolish mouth. I have had enough of her and she is starting to put my teeth on edge. How much dumber can things get in the final episodes?

  16. So all this built up tension and hostilities between the puppets and Lauren and Zana… with no crescendo…???

    With all this build up could it now end up with seriously a grand final between them??

    The other thing is 3 teams left basically have Italianish inspired dishes with one being asian…

    So are we going to have an italianish husband-wife vs intalianish husban-wife final?

    At least the gand final interstate rivaliries will still be in place as 2 Vic teams face off tonight.. then SA v WA…

    I just keep thinking it will be Lauren and Zana in the GF as it ticks all the boxes.
    1. Husband and Wife v Husband and Wife
    2. Mediterranean cuisine vs Mediterranean cuisine
    3. Blue collar vs White collar
    4. Gangsta vs Upperclass
    5. VIC v SA
    6. 2fiddy vs two fifty
    7. Peeps vs People

    If Lauren wins…. this season MKR has officially jumped the shark.

    • Well, that ruins my afternoon. Your description is the ultimate nightmare.

      I’m preferring to think that they might want something different from the common husband-and-wife, and I think they would choose the sisters if possible, followed by a mother-and-son as second preference.

      It’s a very similar storyline to the Chloe and Kelly season. Manipulate a comparatively talentless but controversial team through the comp, all the way to the semi’s, but then chuck them. So, they milk the ratings all the way to the end while viewers wait with bated breath for the inevitable fail, and people then watch the GF with relief. That way they can negate possible criticism that the winner was not a quality cook.

      It is so predictable, and I don’t think I will fall for it a third time in 2017. If it seems that a talentless team are being carried through, I will stop watching.

  17. I re-watched the beginning of episode 1 and episode 7. I was curious about who the kids in the snippet of the finale they showed belonged to – I’m none the wiser. Had to laugh at Jessica and cougar footage. Could hardly remember some of them! Four nights a week for three months – 45 episodes, so far. whew!

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