The Bachelor Australia – finale

Who do you think it will be?

I’m expecting 40 minutes of flashbacks (including some of the regrettable wardrobe choices, Alex mentioning she has a son and Richie saying the girls are gorgeous), 10 minutes of new footage (including lots of a shirtless Richie staring at the ocean as he thinks) and the rest ads.

After a flashback recap with a voiceover by Osher as he stands somewhere scenic to remind us we are in Bali (which they are keen to tell us is in Indonesia), we are reintroduced to Richie’s mum and sis, whom we met on the hometown date when Sam Frost was the Bachelorette. From memory Richie was super hyper as he introduced her to family and friends, and Sam ditched him at the end of the episode. Richie’s sis looks a bit like Nikki – white hair included – and, like Nikki, she has a thing for plunging necklines. Can everyone just go back to wearing bras, please!
Alex is up first and the producers have obviously told Richie (sorry – Rich) not to pre-warn his family about Alex’s son. Bit cruel. We learn Alex manages her family’s wedding reception centre. This is the first we’ve heard that Alex has a life outside of “single mum” (and “nude model”) because women’s careers don’t matter on The Bachelor. Alex tells them she has a son and they ask polite questions about him.
The producers tell mum to take Alex aside to probe her about their sons. Mum as much as says Richie has no idea about how to deal with a kid, and how he would cramp Richie’s style. Mum tells Alex that Richie will have to do all the compromising, travelling to visit her. Alex says she would consider, down the track, moving to WA.
After Alex leaves, mum tells Richie he hasn’t thought enough about what’s involved in dating a woman with a child. He says he has thought about it, then admits he doesn’t have a clue really.

Now it’s Nikki’s turn and everyone has had a wardrobe change. Mum thinks Nikki seems lovely. Alex has the son “bombshell” so Nikki’s is that she was in a long-term relationship – booyah! Nikki gives some good answers and acts naturally. “So, you’re not a basket case?” mum jokes. Later she tells the camera Nikki would fit in to their family well and sis agrees.
Mum – who has a bit of a Julie Bishop laser beam eyes thing going on – warns Richie he needs to consider the negatives (she means Alex’s son, Richie!).

Date time

They’ve braided Nikki’s hair, given her an off-the-shoulder barmaid at Oktoberfest blouse, short shorts and high wedges – just what you need to climb into a helicopter. They fly around for a while and land in a rice paddy to take a wander around a temple where they feed monkeys. Nikki is very tolerant of monkeys climbing on to her bare shoulders.

Rich tells her that his mum was “pretty rapt” to meet her. They have a big pash at the temple entrance. Later they have a chat on a Bachie couch and Nikki looks so blissfully happy. They kiss but she’s the one pulling him in closer.

Uh oh – if he doesn’t choose her Twitter will go into meltdown.

Alex gets to go on a massive sailboat and she’s also wearing massive wedges. She has a chat to him about how kids can be pains in the arse some times and you have to suck it up. They frolic in the ocean but then it’s time to sit on a couch while Alex reads him a poem she wrote before she even met Richie but suddenly it’s about him. She drops the L word. He kisses her and replies “you’re so beautiful”.

It’s time for everyone to get dressed and to pretend the girls do their own makeup. Nikki is in red; Alex in gold. Both have rather heavy evening-style makeup. Nikki – who looks so much better in blues – of course has the plunging neckline requiring much Hollywood tape while Alex’s love of chokers continues.

Rich looks dapper in a pale blue suit and crisp white open-necked shirt, but the slip-on shoes ruin the sharp look.
Poor Osh has been allowed to make no concession for the Bali heat and has to wear a tie. Rich tells Osh he’s in love and, after a bro hug, it’s off to break someone’s heart.

Are we there yet? This is taking forever and I really want to check my Facebook.
Nikki is first out of the car and she has a little reminisce with Osh. Then it’s off to hold hands with Rich while he tells her life would be sweet with her but IT’S ALEX! OMG. The internet hive mind was right: the girl in the paler dress always wins.
Rich asks if’s ok and she holds it together admirably. “I’ve had a great time; I’ve had a lot of fun … I love you enough to, you know … I thought what we had was special. What you have with Alex must top all of it.”
Aww, Nikki – such grace under pressure. Even in the car as the tears begin she says she has no hard feelings for Rich. “No regrets.” Please can we find Nikki a nice bloke.
So it’s Alex, who all this time was painted by the producers as having incurable Single Mum disease, which turned her into a bunny boiler.
Alex steps out of the car and we get a lovely shot of her foot tatt. There’s a lot of padding out and he says the L word and she can’t believe he would pick her, with her incurable disease and all. He gives her a ring (presumably it’s a promise ring but it’s not discussed).

And there we have it. Now I can read all your comments!



  1. I haven’t seen or read any spoilers, but taking an educated guess, I’m going to say Nikki. She’s his type (demure, blonde, gorgeous), and she doesn’t have the baggage of either (a) having son that she’s mentioned four thousand times, or (b) having to move halfway across the country to be with him.

    There’s just something unsettling about Alex. I can’t put my finger on it. Her family is freaky as hell, and she treats him like a toy to play with. I hope there’s some security behind-the-scenes, and that she’s frisked for sharp objects before the final rose ceremony.

    OTOH, it’d always be a satisfying twist if he picked neither girl. I don’t see that he has this amazing, deep connection with either girl, but what do I know?

  2. Same here ….haven’t read or seen spoilers and after watching today’s encore again, I became convinced that he’ll choose Alex but then again he might choose a dirt bike to give the final rose to.

    But I hope he chooses Nikki. It’s best to take the fake blonde rather than the really fake blonde. 100%.

    I didn’t think much of Richie slamming Olena for 30% opening up when Richie’s been tighter than a crab’s arse with his emotions.

    Perhaps there are duller people on the planet….like Lionel Richie, is the first that came to mind.

    • I don’t want to be a bad influence and suggest a drinking game based around that or “absolutely gorgeous” “awesome” etc. It’ll be an extra long episode , too.

  3. His mum is a bit of a dragon and the sister could do with a bra under that dress.
    Just sayin’

    Mum can see right through Alex. Go mum

    • You’re cruel. I was going to just call her a tough old buzzard and move on.

      She’s a bit like Sue from Survivor $amoa

    • Actually, I was thinking that Richie’s mother was kind of judge-y. She really was interrogating Alex full-force, but it was almost refreshing to see Alex in a place where she wasn’t so confident.

    • Thankyou, Lola. I was imitating her to hubby. And every sentence was pitched like a question. Maybe just nerves but it was still annoying.

      • Alot of young people speak like Nikki. Even Richie sppeak that way. They like to end the sentence in a higher tone. Both fail.

  4. Richie’s mum has an obvious favourite girl. So fake those girls saying “It was an honour and so lovely to meet you both ” to his family. They were probably thinking what a battleaxe the mum was.
    It has to be Nikky, they have so much in common.

    • I thought the same, “It’s an honour to meet you”. 6 months into martiage they would be saying, “Oh God, your mother is here again!”.

  5. Richie — “The monkey certainly took a liking to Nikki.”

    Seriously, Richie, you just can’t feed us one-liners like that. At least make it a challenge.

  6. Another conversation about Alex’s son.
    Ritchie doesn’t give me the impression that he would be prepared to take second place to anyone.
    And then there is a gratuitous shot of two barely clothed people jumping into cold water *insert appropriate jokes here*.

  7. It’s so boring I can’t even think of any comments and I think my IQ has dropped points that I can ill afford to lose.

    • Even listening to it, I was thinking, this sounds like a break-up speech.

      Sorry Daisy. I feel like I let you down, here, but I still genuinely liked Richie until about 3 minutes ago. At the moment, I’m gonna need some time to sort through my feelings, but I’m kind of hoping Olena’s dad gets out of the limo, instead of Alex, and punches him in the crotch a few times.

      • These shows always go like this. The girls get dropped. All except one. The BCh’s aren’t allowed to get all chivalrous and say, “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so flowers and engagement rings for everyone”.

        Aus Bach differs from US which includes the offer of an overnight test run “oppertunidy” (Nikki) and ends with a marriage proposal. Don’t worry, Richie can still visit Northam.

    • The last Bach shows are always awful, JB. Some more than others. It’s horrible to see them get genuinely built up then let down.

    • I gotta say, I don’t expect their relationship to last. I’m not sure this is gonna be Blake 2.0, but I don’t see happiness in the years ahead for these two. Sigh.

  8. I kinda guessed that it wouldn’t be Nikki. I know I watch too much television, but he never held her when she kissed him. You know what I mean?

  9. As Jo Thornely just pointed out … there’s no actual video evidence that Alex’s son actually exists, you know?

    I’m just making the observation.

      • And that’s weird, it’s 3 months since it was filmed. I bet the boy’s father won’t be happy if she moves to Perth, I can’t see it happening. I think they are milking it for what they can, and so right, what will his mother think when she sees all the nude/modelling shots. And that dress she had on last night was far too tight around the bum!

        • Also Alex said she has watched the show with her son minus the kissy bits. If the son has met the TV Richie, its about time to meet the real Richie.

          Elijah is in this relationship. They cant keep saying when we know one another better, Richie will meet Elijah.

        • I skeptical last night but actually kinda understand that Richie hasn’t met the kid. They have only seen each other 4 times since the show, and when they have, they’ve had to basically be in hiding. Then just talking on the phone each day. Thats a very different relationship to actually seeing them everyday and more involved in their every day life.

          • Dr Phil doesn’t approve of the kids meeting the revolving door boyfriends….or “uncles”, so if Alex is smart she might wait even a year. She mentioned little Alex throws the odd tantrum so maybe wait until he is 14 or so. He’ll be really sweet then. 😆

          • Dr.Phil would’ve given Alex and Richie a reality check about the percentage of non biological parents/spouses and the increased likelihood of abuse occurring.

            Alex should wait until the son is old enough to beat Richie up.

      • I used to get a cream pie in the face in the name of entertainment. It does get in your ear and starts to go off very quickly and smells awful. Worse in summer.Alex was probably too concerned with the “nether regions” to check her ear.

          • If you look up Marianne Faithfull and the Mars Bar incident, I think it may have been done before in the 1960’s ,of course. How much is myth or legend , who knows? I’ve heard accounts of things done with Polly Waffles in the 70’s .

            I’ve got an unopened pack of Tim Tams here….

      • That doesn’t surprise me. While I’m sure it sounded like a good idea to the channel 10 executives, a bath in liquid chocolate just sounds … vile. I mean, they would’ve wound up ingesting some of that liquid. There’s no two ways around that.

  10. Nikki as next Bachelorette? Christ, no. She’s inane. I’d rather stick knitting needles in my ears and eyes.

    I mean, I wish her all the best in finding love, etc. But not on my dime.

  11. I don’t think any jewellery store would want to put their name to The Bachelor after everyone cained last years ‘cheezel’ ring!

    • I kind of like it, but it also looks like…what do you call it a nut or a bolt. You can tell I don’t know my nuts from my bolts. 😆

    • I loved the monkey trying to steal Nikki’s necklace at the monkey park.

      Anyone see the girl who got the fabulous ring from the sweet ol’ Sugar Daddy on Dr.Phil, and got the rock substituted before returning it? $orry, honey. That’s a nut, daisy.

  12. DM Australia full of crap about their first night of passion and his three month’s of blue balls. And he’s no redhead, and that’s coming from a redhead!

  13. Smart? I don’t think so – pics of Richie wearing too short trousers, long pointed brown shoes and no socks. Can’t keep his hands off her – yuk:{

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