Thanks to Daisy for recapping last night’s MAFS. The finale is tonight (yes, the show is REALLY ending).
— Nine Comms (@9Comms) 2 April 2017
Ha ha ha. What a horrible dinner party.
Just about everyone there hated at least one other person and almost everyone had an axe to grind. There were more elephants in the room than a gathering of big top circus and one of them was Nick’s pink elephant.
There was a fair bit of hypocrisy and finger pointing as injured parties accused exes of having not been genuine, and the claws came out as producers suggested Cheryl take Scarlett aside for a dressing down.
And on dressing down, there were plenty of plunging necklines, high splits and bum hugging pencil skirts from the girls and the usual blokey gear on the boys, except for Anthony who likes to go a bit Sydney city boy millennial (thanks Maz for spotting him not wearing socks).
Poor Scarlett looked like a wilting Babs Streisand all night. She tried her temptress best to lure Andrew Jones but that didn’t get off the ground so she spent most of the night looking lost and well out of her depth. Jonesy and Johnathan drew some support from each other hoping their mutual contempt for Cheryl would help them through the party. Then Lauren arrived and immediately palled up with Cheryl, evening out the power.
Michelle, who strung Jesse along for a couple of months, consoled Nadia for getting strung along by Anthony. Jesse was like a child left too long at day care, you know, the last one to be collected because his mum forgot what he looked like, so decided to wait until all the other kids had been collected and then take the one still left. If Jesse had a tail tonight, it would have been wagging when Michelle arrived.
Anthony was in a different kind of dog house. He was in strife for dropping Nadia before she had a chance to drop him. How very dare he. The experts noted Nadia’s pained expression; (it was exactly the same face she had on when Anthony declared his recommitment vows).
Anyhow, given how much Nadia hummed and haaawed over her feelings for Anthony, and that she only seemed suddenly keen to land on his doorstep after she needed a new place to live, I’m not surprised Anthony cold cold feet. Or was it the lack of socks, Maz.
I got the impression that Anthony felt her latching on, which will send a guy running faster than Jesse running when the dinner bell goes.
We didn’t see much of the doppleganger twins tonight. Nick and Sharon, Susan and Sean, Simon and Alene and even Vanessa and Chewbakka were all getting on just fine, so nothing for the producers there. Lauren had her camera time taking a few stabs at Jonesy. Actually the producers were spoilt for choice as there was plenty of friction and awkwardness for the experts to ponder and make inane comments on.
I have saved Deb and John for last. They left very early on because John was a white smoker who couldn’t make a good lotus position or get into the karma sutra.
I think Debra has forgotten that they divorced two months ago because she was still nagging and bitching at John for not paying enough attention to her needs. I think Deb should be given her own yoga hour on one of those channels we never watch. Or a spot on that star sign, fortune telling channel. Or maybe Deb and John could do a repeat performance on that up-coming couples retreat reality show. I think there is more fun to be had from Deb and John.
So after the united expertise of three relationship psychologists, and their considerable poking, prodding, spying, support and advice, we ended with two lasting. (😂) marriages; cute but slightly dysfunctional Alene and Simon, and Sharon and Nick. We also have three “good friends forever” couples; Vanessa and Andy, Michelle and Jesse, and Susan and Sean.
Tomorrow night is the episode we have been hanging out to see; who really lasts after the “experiment”. And best of all; Andrew and the boys gets to watch their men behaving badly video. I hopes Jonesy brings his fire hose. He might need it. 🚒