Bachelor in Paradise – The American Invasion

The Americans storm Bachidise tonight, and it means war for some of our magnificent Aussie stallions, but it looks like none of the girls is putting of fight, especially Keira.
Well, actually, I think the annoying one is actually Canadian but that doesn’t sound particularly threatening, so let’s call him American.
Channel 10 must have seen that people are looking for viewing alternatives to the Commonwealth Games so we get FOUR DAYS OF BACHIDISE!



  1. I can’t be the only person who would holiday in Fiji and go to that resort just so I could get Wais to make me a fruity cocktail, and then give me important and sage life advice. It can’t just be me.

  2. “So what makes Australian women so appealing?”

    Uh, the pay-check that channel 10 was offering him for doing this season, Osher. Stop asking stupid questions.

    Meanwhile, as all the girls lose their minds over Grant, I’m scratching my head a little. He’s got a nice smile, and he seems pleasant enough as a human being, but he’s not that handsome or good-looking and the arm ink is a bit of a turn-off. Like, I admit to finding Sam and his hair attractive, but I’m looking at Grant and just thinking, really?

    • Agreed. His head is a funny shape!
      Also I was thinking the same is Leah, long distance In Australia is hard enough let alone being in aus dating someone in the US.

      • Even Daniel, the Canadian fellow. Like, yeah, he’s definitely more attractive … but the second he opened his mouth to start speaking, you could just tell that he’s a tool.

        • I had that *exact* same thought. I was like, no, dude. Just … no.

          What I liked was Eden’s commentary on the situation. “You’ve been on like ten seasons and you haven’t found love yet? You’re not here for the right reasons.”

          • And just now asking Luke is Lisa ‘his’. Nope dude, no you don’t refer to women as objects.

          • That whole conversation was embarrassing for everybody involved, including the audience. I was cringing.

  3. Mack put your breasts away. You were my favourite but have lost my respect.i have big ears like mack but how can someone with such ears who must have faced some teasing be so superficial when it comes to others looks?
    That’s all

    • I kinda feel for Mack, because from the neck up, he’s just not that appealing, physically. I mean, I can’t blame him for taking his shirt off a lot.

  4. What makes Australian women unappealing?
    Chanting “fresh meat” everytime a new guy comes in.
    Such bogans.

    • Double standards I’ll bet. Can you imagine what they would say if the guys called them meat? Anyway, when Daniel walked in, it would have been more apt to call him a parsnip.

    • I forget Sophie’s season (not entirely unintentionally. Gosh channel 10 found some dud guys for her), but wasn’t Mack the guy who had a weird infatuation with Sophie, as well?

      He tends to come on very strong, doesn’t he?

      • I feel like he’s very insecure when it comes to dating, and that comes through very easily in all his interactions.

        • When Ali said she needed a spark, Mack just dug himself deeper into awkwardness. Kamikaze of love.

          Mack was happily. eating with his mouth open at the bar , drooling over Ali. No spark there. Wonder why?

          Time for the “It’s not you, it’s me ” speech for Mack, Ali. She’s a honeypot and men are flies. No cause for tears.

          • She dumped Michael in the same breath, so she was having a good night either way.

  5. I’ll give props to Kiera. She’s the only person I know who can make a withering passive-aggressive display out of sipping a drink through a straw. If looks could kill, half that resort would’ve burned to the ground in a second.

    Meanwhile, Jarrod’s like a human thermometer. You can tell his exact mood by how red his face is turning.

    • If Jarrod’s a human thermometer, it must be the kind you stick up your …

      Poor Mack thinks he and Jarrod have a clash of personalities. He ‘s dreamin’ if he thinks he has a personality.

  6. Appalled that I’m on team Kiera in Jarrod /Kiera scenario. You dumped her fir something shinier and more quiter
    Tonight only
    “ you go girl “

    • It’s still kinda fun watching Jarrod squirm. I do agree with you, his pursuit of Ali was simply because she’s a hot blonde (which seems to be Jarrod’s type) and it took him too long to realise that he liked Kiera in the first place.

      But I still kind of hope they get together.

      • He wouldn’t have gone running back to Keira with his ‘tail’ between his legs had Ali gone for him.

    • Exactly. He dropped her like a hot potato when Ali waltzed in. And I don’t know what the fuss is over her anyway, she’s not that much more attractive then some of the others. She’s WAY overrated. Jarrod only gave Keira the rose because Mack gave his to Ali. Now he gets all in a tizz when she is enamoured when someone new arrives. Now Ali doesn’t have ‘sparks’ with either Mack or Michael so will she set her sights back on Jarrod now? Or does she have her eye on someone else? Who knows.

  7. Oh, a brewing fight between Jarrod and Mack? Ali probably doesn’t like either of them all that much, but I would pay actual money to see that.

  8. Tara and Sam – awkward much!
    It was cringe worthy.
    All I can thInk of is Sam’s horrible straw hair which he combs over.

  9. I can’t be the only one silently hoping that Apollo shows up sometime this week and snaps that Canadian upstart over his knee like a sad little Canadian twig.

    • Personally , I’m hoping Apollo does to The Canadian what a Grizzly Bear does to salmon.

  10. I half thought Laurina and Michael may be a thing. Although, Laurina and Apollo could work … the Sam and Tara date – awkward as it was – was kind of nice. I hope Eden steps and romances Nina a bit. They both seem lovely people who probably would make a go of it in real life, but the artificial situation may actually push them apart. So, Leah’s about to learn the US import is a douche? What a shock

  11. The Canadian is a creep. If you saw him on the US Bach, you would have immediately gone, “That creep”. I forget the details, but he was a sleazebag. And ugly like an oridginal Ridge Forrester, but worse.
    Why don’t these guys know that if you pump up your chest, you will have man boozies forever. They will go just turn to saggy t****es.
    Also, what was Daniel thinking, preparing to cross that raging river? I can understand why the producers might have been willing to let him drown, but then a passing tribesmen comes to the rescue. Hmmm.

    Jarrod is nuts. Completely loony. I didn’t see a label on Ali saying, “Jarrod’s property”.

    There were shades of MAFS when Luke told Daniel that he could take Lisa for a chat. Luke was clearly just trying to show Daniel that he wasn’t threatened, but it was a jerk’s remark.

    • You could make a creepy stalker film and call it Jarrod Attraction.

      Mack is a total train wreck but Jarrod did make him look good.

      Watching the promos, I reckon Jarrod will still get a rose from Keira after a lot of bawling and brouhaha.

      • Maybe they could send Jarrod to Ghost Island, like they do on Survivor…then bring him back for another try. He’s to good tv to lose. They could call Ghost Island “Wallflower Island” or “Sad loser Island, and give them a challenge to pass before they can return. (Thinks of challenge for Jarrod).

        Anyone notice them stealing other Survivor tricks; zoom in on bug to imply bug, zoom in on snake for Jake? Zoom in on coconuts, pan to Ali’s boobs. I made that one up.

        • Punching Above Their Weight I$land.

          Pussy Island.

          The US Fireman is going to have a crack at Ali. Mack will discombobulate himself over that.

  12. Leah and Luke have been sitting around like the King and Queen of the Islands. Lisa needs to wake up and ditch Luke. Mind you, the alternatives are myeh.

  13. So much for Canadians being polite. That guy is a dick. Wonder how long till the girls figure it out? Hope Apollo arrives soon. Now HE will set the cat among the pigeons.

  14. There’s rumours running around that some of the bachies voluntarily leave the island.
    Bored with their own company maybe?

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