• I kinda chuckled at that.

      “Hey guys, my partner pulled a knife on me the other day … but if she writes down ‘stay’ tonight, I guess that means I’m stuck here, right?”

      Isn’t “deprivation of liberty” a crime, last anyone checked? Not going to lie, I’d pay money to see the three idiot sexperts actually charged over their involvement here.

  1. Love the cute “adult content” warning , when for days now , we’ve been seeing Matthew’s virginity discussed and exhumed over and over.

  2. Is it me or is Ines living in a world of total self-delusion? All she does and say how hard-done-by she is, and how Bronson is rude and disrespectful to her, and all the abuse she heaps on him is his fault?

    For a start, that’s textbook abuser territory. But is this girl out of touch with reality? Like, what’s wrong with her?

    • The fundamental problem with MAFS is that it normalises abusive relationships by forcing the other person to stay.

      Rightly or wrongly, the impression we have of Ines is she plays the refugee camp card often to be never accountable for her actions.

  3. FFS, Jessika, Mick is not that much older than you. She is desperately scrambling to appease Mick so she can stay on the show longer and raise her Instagram profile.

  4. Cameron and Jules: Stay: Stay
    Jules is so desperate she gushes over Cam, “I feel, obviously, he was hand-picked but I feel like he was tailor-made, made for me.” Mel disappointed that C&J may actually like each other asks the children question. Jules is oblivious to Cam lack of enthusiasm on this matter.

  5. Mike and Heidi: Stay:Stay

    Mike brags they are like rabbits (or should that be on the discovery channel) but Heidi hesitates. He not just listening to me, she wails. Mike side eyes her annoyed, “I tried to do it in a really discrete way,” he doth protests. Because telling someone they are not your therapist is really discrete, Mike.
    Heidi, bless her, is a bit thick and hasn’t quite realised she is just an extended one night stand.

      • Mick is a sad middle age man who hasn’t twigged that lusting after a twenty something now has a creep factor. My guess, deep in his past, there was a girl who wanted to marry him and have his children but he thought he was too young and broke it off. Now 15 years later he is trying to find the 25 year old facsimile of her. He is going to end up all alone.

  6. Lauren and Matthew: Stay: Stay

    Trish not satisfied with 50 Shades of Grey is intently curious about the status of Matthew V-plates not caring about humiliating Lauren in the process. Of course the audience cheers like a group of American footballers in a locker when it is learnt that the plates are not so pristine. Lauren is only a means to an end. So much for respecting women, eh?

  7. Elizabeth: Sam I Am: Stay/Leave

    Sam I Am the compulsive liar again tells Elizabeth she is ugly and Elizabeth angry about missing her trip to Thailand and been paired with some who is egotistical and quite horrible elects to stay. The producers are happy as it allows the wife swap storyline to be activated and Jessika( and her lips) are happy as it allows them extra screen-time pretending to care.

  8. Ning/Mark : Stay/Stay

    Clearly of not much interest to the producers or each other decide to stay to get ringside seats to the unfolding drama.

  9. Martha/Michael: Stay/Stay

    Trish is interested in only thing: have they done the deed? Blink and you find yourself looking at Dino and Melissa on the couch.

    Dino/Melissa: Stay/Stay

  10. Jessika/Mick: Stay/Stay

    Mick is horrified that he has been paired with a drama queen. Staying with Jessika will risk emasculation. Of course, he has no self respect and elects to stay.

  11. Nick/Cyrell: Stay/Stay

    Think the cameraman has a crush on Jessika judging by the constant cutting away to her. Anywhooo…Nick wants to run but is too scared to do so.

  12. Thanks for the updates, Maz. The Ines/Bronson thing was hideous all round. Mr Juz and I figure he must have said the C word.

  13. Ines/Bronson: Leave/Stay

    “I am going into this commitment ceremony with full blown depression,” wails Ines (as I wasn’t paired with Sam I Am and the fat chick was). Of course, it goes all down hill from there with Bronson casually calling her a f****** c***. Mel chastises Bronson so she can flash her #metoo credentials.

    Sorry, if there is a Leave/Stay combo they should depart the experiment especially if the relationship is abusive and toxic.

    • It’s interesting that Bronson’s use of a curse word (a particularly awful one) earned a rebuke from the judges … but Ines spending entire monologues screaming swear words at her husband wasn’t noteworthy at all? Channel 9 had to bleep out about a minute’s worth of talking from her.

      Seriously sexperts, you people are just the worst.

        • Someone on Twitter responded by saying that if she didn’t want to be called that word, she should’ve tried harder not to act like one.

          Personally, I think that’s entirely fair, even if the way Bronson expressed himself was too far.

          Meanwhile, the experts continue to be either incompetent or corrupt.

          • Bronson had been pushed too far. He hadn’t talked like that until then, whereas the first words out of her mouth at the altar were, “Do you want to ro*t me?”. Or was that her second sentence? She had been screaming at him, “Shut the f**k up!!!!”. Why wouldn’t a guy think he could use bad language in front of her? I think Henry Higgins said it, “Gutter snipe”. He should have just called her a gutter snipe”.

  14. How did Ines get full blown depression in a week. I recall that on the boat she told Bronson she was sick, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. She has a trivial opinion of depression.
    I think a few are just staying for the exposure. Bronson for his stripper turned movie star career. Bleach blond girl; Sam’s wife, the scruffy farmer’s wife who looks like Hope Lang and Yvonne de Carlo ate a blow fish, and probably a few others are just wanting to stay on telly.

    I wish they weren’t going to repeat the cheating wife scenario. Too formula.

  15. So I’m not a fan of the C word… but it was truly an apt description of that nutcase. No wonder she was single. Who the hell would go near her? The only surprising thing was Bronson’s choice to stay. Biggest LOL of the day to you, Daisy for your Hope Lang comment – ha ha ha ha ha

  16. Ines in her vox pop is complaining that Bronson humiliated her at the commitment ceremony and should reflect upon ‘how he could improve as a person’. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • Innes on the counselling session: “I hope it gives Bronson an insight into the problem as obviously he IS the problem and not me.”

      • If Bronson has a problem , it’s the designer jeans with the bare knees.

        The message is ~ “I’m a homeless , stripping, entrepreneurial …bull terrier”.

  17. Let’s give a big shout to tonight’s sponsors, Meriton Suites, North Sydney and Cadbury Block Chocolate. Who knew that the Meriton was THE place for assignations? Like the Edwardian country house party weekends, our couples are arranged to facilitate adultery and gaslighting.

    We were promise an affair and Ines is determined to honour her contract and demonstrate how to play wounded party in a family court matter. Before Judge John(JJ), she plays the faultless victim by informing JJ that Bronson is the problem and not her. It works and Ines is awarded the marital home and the wedding photos which she promptly wants to Photoshop, “I look good! I feel like cutting this photo in half and just leaving myself in it, because I look nice!”

    It is “yes” week (Why didn’t Optus sponsor this?) and the next piece of the producers storyline falls in place. Elizabeth is still smarting over her missed honeymoon and decides the only way to publish Sam I Am is to leave him cooped up in the apartment to recreate her experience. Of course, when the cat is away the mouse comes out to play. Ines informed by the producers that Sam I Am (aka Babbu) is alone initiates contact. Meanwhile, the producers can’t resist the opportunity to further humiliate Elizabeth by suggesting she apologises to Ines for not #metoo-ing her during the commitment ceremony. Again, the producers show someone Elizabeth is talking to tune out. Rather than throwing the chocolate in the bin, Ines smugly states, ‘I’m gonna eat this tonight in bed. I’ll eat the chocolate and think of her husband.’ Ines, that job in a ‘global elite’ law firm awaits you.

    Matthew. What can we say? He is either an actor or raised in a cult. Presented with the opportunity to ask Lauren any question his heart desires instead studiously writes out the questions like a remedial 1st grader. These thought out questions include, “What is your favourite colour?” What is your favourite food? (No, we are not kidding). Lauren, bored, announces she used to be a lesbian. Matthew’s mind is blown and goes into a catatonic state. Matthew, next time, Google: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

    Cyrell, wants to be an Instagram influencer and the only way she can achieve any screentime is to scream at Nic. Nic bizarrely decides that he wants Cyrell to shave his chest instead. Why???

    Jules and Cam get some screentime as the Sydney Cricket Ground decides the practice batting date will be all the cricket broadcasting rights Ch9 will get this year.

  18. Thankyou, Maz. Once again you have given us a great blow by blow account.

    What is the matter with Ines, that she would portry herself so badly. Surely she must realize she can’t make those comments and not be bridezilla.

    Sam’s wife needs to unpaint her clown face. She’s a horrible blonde Elvira. I’m not surprised Sam ran from that painted face.

  19. Yeah right. Sam saw what a savage little pitbull Ines is and he wants “to find true love” with that? It’s definitely not credible. You have it right on the production team’s manipulation, Maz.
    And how come Matthew has never made a bed before. He still sleeps.

    • I always find it “highly amusing” that each series they show the man trying to do some domestic task (make a bed, wash dishes, tidy a room) – and doing it badly – so the woman can come along and instruct him! Yes, surely men sometimes do these things before they were “married”….

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