1. If this is Paradise, how come so much $hit is flying around?

    Flo’s right.Bill is a piece of $hit. The defiant body language on Bill and his goon is a worry. Alphas hoist on their own petards.

    Alex is putting on a show. I don’t think she’ll really go.

  2. I skipped this one, I was watching a DVD instead.

    But I got the recap on Facebook. So after all that bullshit with Bill, last episode, Alex is still falling in love with him?

    Sorry Alex Nation. You’re clearly a moron. Good bye.

    • At one point a “fuming” Alex was handed a date card, just after declaring she was going to leave. She said it stated that she and Bill were to spend time together away from Paradise. What do you think it really said? “We’re paying you $5000 a day and you are contractually obliged to stay – oh and continue to wear weird piratey bandeau tops.”

  3. Oh my God what an episode. These people do realise they are being filmed don’t they? Don’t fucking lie & then deny you lied. IT IS ALL ON TAPE IDIOT. Bill is a fucking piece of shit. Especially knowing what Florence went through last year & assuring he knew what a bad time she had & wouldn’t do that to her too. Then HE DOES THE EXACT SAME THING THAT ARSEHOLE DID TO HER LAST YEAR!!! Seriously that is fucked up. But not only does he lie to Alex’s face & deny it in front of everyone he insults Florence & calls her malicious & jealous. If I was Alex I would have gone to the Producers & DEMANDED to see the footage to see who was lying. I hope she & Bill were watching last night & she beat the crap out of him.
    As for Ivan, what a nutcase. He bursts into Tenille’s room & sits on her bed while she is in the bathroom. Seriously mate you called out & got no answer SO YOU WAIT OUTSIDE & try again later. You don’t wait in her bedroom in the dark.

    • Creepy, hey? and then you hear a toilet flushing and he is there. what part of the Romantic Interest Handbook says “sit in her bedroom in the dark while she takes a crap”.

      • Gomer Pyle! Stalkers Handbook.
        1. Fall madly, deeply in love on day one.
        2. Drive away cometition.
        3. Get desperate and obsessive, drive away girl.
        4. Stalk girl.
        Yep, it’s Doctor Phil for Gomer.

  4. Alex N is too skinny like POW. Also, now that Brooke has left, she wants to be monogamous? Still Bill is LPOS.

  5. Liars? Who knew there would be liars amongst these morally superior people. Alex is sqwarking all over the place because she was lied to in a place where people have gone just to hook up with each other and “explore” multiple partners, leaving their kids at home for weeks or months to make their own school lunches.

    And now, just like in school, we have Cassandra running back to the boys reporting, “Alex is going to tap out”.

  6. Hahahaha. I loved Jules’ responses to Alisha when she put the hard word on him. Hopeless. Alisha, let me translate that for you. That would be a definite ” 100% No”…..unless I can’t get anyone else”.

    • I’m surprised at how much of a wanker Ivan turned out to be. I mean, the signs were there, all along, but I was expecting a slight hill of wankerness. I wasn’t expecting the Mount Everest of self-love.

  7. Sleazy Bill, true to original form. Ugh, Jules. So disappointing. I wish they’d send some new dudes in. A mass entry, soon.

    • Jules was all, “How to ditch Alisha without looking like a wan*er”.
      Cassie is like Gomer except she has a different method. Just cling, or follow with your eyes.
      I’m loving the ‘issues’.

      • Meanwhile Rachel’s at home watching going sucked in bitch. And Brittney’s thinking thank God Ivan dumped me.

  8. On MAFS it’s “intimacy” , on this show it’s “explore”

    The toilet flushing with Gomer brought the whole Oscar Pistorius incident back to me. These folk are creating a living hell for themselves.

  9. Just trying to catch up. After watching this on national TV, any girl still go for Bill is stupid. He is just a nobody. Pity those people in the dog park.

  10. Cass is still the insecure woman. Same as when she was with the Honey Badge.

    I will pity her boyfriend. She is such a clinger.

    • Thanks, LP. I’ve glimpsed her in some of the promos and was trying to remember why she looked familiar. She was that leechy, stalker-y woman on the other show. It bugs me when I can’t place a face.

  11. I laughed when Alex melted into Bill’s eyes last night, but said her “guard was up”. She was guarded by a mushy grin, goo goo eyes and a big smooch. Bill just had to say, “I see you as wife material” and she was all in. No wait, that was Davey to Shannon.

  12. I know it’s probably not exactly what she meant, but …

    Flo: “If disappointment was a person? It’d look like me.”

    Yes, Flo. Yes, it would.

    • Her disdain at the suggestion she might be into Mack was excruciating. So much “ick” tonight: Ivan, Jules, Alesha caving in and hating herself for it … Suddenly newcomer Caroline is into Alex, not Richie. Perhaps Mack and Zoe would be a good match. Wes did not really have a chance coming in so close to a rose ceremony.

      • I actually like that US Alex is still here. What did I call him, the other day? A beautiful man-mountain of rugged masculinity. At least there’s one decent guy on this horrible show.

    • It is always the same dance moves with Gomer. He is so possessive. He is a potential abuser against women. Girls, women, boys, men, please run a mile if Ivan is interested in you. 🏃🏻🏃🏻

  13. Waah, waah, waaaah. Jules thinks he has a “spiritual connection” with Tenille. He’s the Dalai Lama of Love now.

    • Ivan the Terrible will beat Jules to a pulp. Jules might then have a “spiritual connection” with St Peter.

      Dalai Lama himself says it takes at least a year to know someone. He’s never been to Paradise Resort to “explore”

  14. Jules was willing to show all of Australia his slimey underbelly. What a double talker. He talks psychobabble. 🐍

    What is wrong with Tenille that she found some horrible bump and grind with Gomer putting his package in her face, makes her like him? Gross.

  15. Whaaaat? Aliesha no. Where is your dignity. Slimey the worm lives another day. And he’s back in Aleisha’s arms. Right now, Tenille should tell Jules that she wants to go exploring with him so he can dump Aleisha faster than you can say Rose Rat.

    And now here comes Daniel the Villain. They aren’t serious.

    • “Tenille should tell Jules that she wants to go exploring with him…”

      This turn-of-phrase really confuses me.

      Are they going cave-diving? Trying to discover lost ruins in the Fijian jungle? That sounds far more exciting than this dating crap that normalises abusive, horrible relationships.

      Daniel was on the last Paradise, wasn’t he? The name and face are familiar, but I can’t quite place him.

      • Exploring means “playing doctor”.

        Daniel was first on a US Bachelorette. He was creepy and evil then. He has probably done Paradise here and in Bachelor Pad in the US. Sort of Bill Spencer turns up the casinova a notch. He’s only ever there to play a dickhead.

  16. What the hell Nathan? He was all set to ask Tenille on his date. Tenille wanted to go with him. But he suddenly gets scared of stupid Ivan & asks Shannon. The look on her face was priceless. Then they show them on their date bored shitless & not even talking.
    As for Ivan talking about Tenille as though she was his property. Run Tenille. Run as fast as you can as far away as you can. I hope she hasn’t told him where she lives.

    • I don’t know what he thought Gomer could do. I mean, Go..o..o..olly. Don’t they have security. Anyway, I think the fool probably can’t fight.
      But he can lap dance you unconscious.

    • “I hope she hasn’t told him where she lives.”

      When he was in her room, he rifled through her things, and made photocopies of her passport and driver’s license.

      So, it’s a bit late for that one, I’m afraid.

  17. When I said new men, I didn’t mean bulked up crazy face Daniel getting recycled yet again! I did enjoy that lengthy repeat of Mack’s Youuuuuu and meeeeeee, youuuuuuu and meeeeeeee…

  18. Even though it’s what we are all thinking….and can write here in the privacy of a social media blog, I thought it made Flo seem stuck-up, mean and kind of hypocrytical. When she says, “No one is going for me”, does she just mean Bill?

    • I thought she didn’t want him anyway.

      Flo seems very high maintenance. Like, there’d always be some kind of drama you’d be dealing with.

  19. Oh gosh, it was on tonight and I missed it? I was putting Lego together and then making dinner. I guess, that’s how committed I am to this, heh. I’ll catch the “Bachelor Unpacked” recap on FB.

  20. I read an article in the paper today referring to the bikini bottoms of some of the girls. I do find them somewhat, well not offensive, but very off putting. They strut around as if they don’t care that they are practically naked. I don’t think ‘young’ women grow pubic hair these days.

    • Me too. It’s like, “Your bum is naked”. They need lots of cushions for when the girls sit cross legged.

    • The anticipation of a wardrobe malfunction is excruciating for the viewer. I’d like to see a girl rock a pair of boardies.
      Bachie runs Sun-Thurs next week but the timeslots are all over the shop, so check your guides.

  21. Ha ha, Gomer punches well above his weight, then calls Tenille selfish for not wanting his stifling approach.

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