1. As predicted, Richie continues to be a personality vacuum. Hilarity ensued when he was telling Cat that “random bitchy nastiness is a deal-breaker”, and Cat giggled as the date was going well.

    Vanessa Sunshine is back! Yay! Oh gosh, that made my night.

    Boy, they bought in bulk, in terms of skimpy swim-suits. There’s more beef cheeks on display than when Ibby and Romel were cooking some on Monday night.

    And on cue, here comes Alex. Richie looks like a deer caught in the headlights of an 18 wheeler. This should be fun.

    • I have to add to the lack of wow factor Richie has brought. I’d rather watch two hours of Clive Palmer commercials than hear the deranged, deluded dross coming out of Richie.

      • No wonder he keeps turning women into lesbians. He is literally kryptonite to heterosexuality, he’s just *that* uninteresting.

        • There is certainly NO mystery about why Richie is a bachelor. The only mystery to me is how he gets to a 2nd date with anyone.
          Unless the poor girl has fallen asleep and accidentally nods at the wrong time?
          Of course when they wake up they go all “WHAT was I thinking? is there anyone else? Oh, look there’s someone. Sure I’ve never been bisexual before but hey – that girl is attractive – and really there’s daylight between ANYONE and Richie.”

          • Richie shows up in Fiji, and suddenly we get our first girl-on-girl romance? That’s not a coincidence.

            Gosh, I was ever in the same room as him, I’d be genuinely terrified he’d turn me straight.

  2. Well that was pretty underwhelming. They spent the whole conversation trading passive-aggressive barbs, at one another, referring to something specific that happened between them, that obviously the audience isn’t aware of.

    C’mon guys, try harder. Over on MAFS, Cyrell almost glassed somebody, and she wasn’t even dating them.

      • One suggestion I’ve heard is that Alex had a termination. Just an observation a friend made. Richie looked like a turd throughout.

          • I thought she’s either had a miscarriage or an abortion. It was really weird watching this private conversation with them alluding to something we know nothing about.

          • Us too. All her talk of needing “support” at this difficult time made us convinced it was abortion.

          • Reports and reviews for last night’s show skirted around what their conversation was about, but none of them actually said abortion.

            If that’s what happened, I would be dumbfounded that two people would be so crass and lacking in dignity as to talk about, on a dipshit reality dating show, what should remain a private matter.

          • News.com.au had a story about Kyle Sandilands’s broadcast being taken off air for a short time after his comment on the show.

            The click bait headline read “radio show censored over Bach comment”. I read it as Bach, as in Johann Sebastian, and clicked on the article wondering what the hell he had said.

      • I take that back. That was hard to watch. Too personal for rtv. Is NOTHING private for these people? It was obvious what they were alluding to.

  3. Maybe they’ve learned their lesson from last year, because this year’s Americans seem a lot less slimy (and a lot more attractive) than last year’s Americans.

    So Brooke, Alex and American Alex are in this weird love triangle? Guys. Both girls are bisexual. There’s a really easy solution here. And American Alex asking Brooke to accept the rose in Russian? C’mon man, at least make it a challenge for the other guys.

    I could’ve lived without seeing Paddy and Alisha dry-humping by the pool. I really could’ve.

    • I dislike Paddy a lot. He makes me think of a Staffy – no offence to Staffy lovers – but he has the same thick neck and muscles and dumb expression.

      Alisha (who knew, I would have written Alicia as I am soo old-fashioned) seems okay and looks like she is having buyer’s remorse in the next episode.

      • Those gels need to be wary that Staffy’s jaws don’t lock on to their lips. Botox is supposed to be poison, right? Staffy might need to go to the vet. I’m gunna call him Staffy from now on. We’ll see dog acts from him aplenty. Cheers to BS

        Best advice to Alisha is take Staffy back to the pound.

  4. “An explosive rose ceremony”~ it’s like a meat raffle in a bad pub. There’s a pub in Adelaide called the Paradise Hotel.

  5. Feral Cat escapes in Paradise. “Fuck this!”, she was heard to cry. Cameras in hot pursuit. Explosive action. Ch 10 deliver. The rose ceremony ain’t even over. Cat could have clawed her way back.

  6. Brittney needs to calm down. Vivaciousness can be attractive. Loony, not so much. She is trying too hard like mafs Melissa. Brittney’s a pretty girl who sabotages herself with ott behaviour.

  7. That Vanessa girl having to sniff those shirts was quite revolting. But the look on her face when Nathan turned up was priceless.
    How many girls have long brown hair? It’s really hard to tell them apart.

  8. Cat ran off before a rose ceremony in TB too didn’t she, spouting about how it was degrading to stand there waiting for a rose. Poor thing keeps thinking she signed on for dwts. Even then she would have to wait to be ‘given a rose’.

    And Brussel…Paddy is a Staffy.

    • For fuck’s sake she does know the premise of the show doesn’t she? Considering she’s been on it twice now. Why is she there if she feels that way?

    • I think Cat will be lured back with a tin of Whiskas tonight and given a rose. I wanna see a Staffy and a Cat hook up.

  9. Last night, it seemed (from the promo) that Alisha was having buyer’s remorse, after hooking up with Paddy.

    But! As it turns out, Alisha is being insane. How on Earth is it Paddy’s fault who Nathan did or didn’t choose to give a rose to?

    Unless we’re taking everything (like, EVERYTHING. Poverty, disease, the global economic down-town, mass inequality, the flu) as Paddy’s fault in general. I’d be okay with that.

  10. When Alex Nation was on the inflatable tube swimming date, she said that her, “whole life flashed before my eyes”. It’s amazing she was able to stay awake, particularly with the portions with Richie.

    Meanwhile, back at the resort, with Alex and Bill’s continuing flirtation, Rachel has lost yet another boyfriend to Alex Nation. Talk about history repeating itself.

    • No, but seriously, imagine a day in the life of Rachel.

      She gets in line to order her morning coffee, and Alex Nation cuts in front of her. Rachel goes to the grocery store, and Alex Nation has bought the last bottle of milk. She tries to buy a magazine and, no, Alex Nation bought the last copy a few minutes ago. On her way home, Rachel hails a cab, and Alex Nation suddenly appears to steal the cab.

      I mean, imagine that, every day. Poor girl.

  11. Cass is also friends with little Davey in the outside world. Is there anyone from this franchise who this girl hasn’t stalked?

  12. OMFG!
    I tuned in for 10 mins tonight, waiting for Gogglebox to come on, and I can feel my brains leaking out of my ears.
    It’s like some awful high school fantasy.

    • I’m with you Big H, I can’t believe how truly bad the few minutes I’ve seen are. I don’t want to miss Gogglebox but I’m really struggling to stay tuned to this train wreck.

      • Wasn’t Gogglebox worth it, tonight, though?

        When they were watching the giving-birth show, I was laughing to the point of actually being in tears. Oh my gosh.

        And what is it with the horny French bulldog who cannot stop humping that guy’s leg?

        • It was a great ep Windsong. but those blokes should see how full-on an animal birth can be (as I did as a PS-aged student with cats, dogs, horses, cattle …)

  13. I forgot Bach was on tonight – not used to shows other than Survivor in a Thurs! So Cat left and Vanessa was not picked?

  14. Right, so, tonight in Paradise…

    James likes Alex, but Alex likes Bill, even though Rachel likes Bill, but Alex also likes Brooke, while Brooke is liked by Nathan (who liked Rachel for a bit), American Alex and occasionally Paddy, who was dry-humping Alisha (until they both turned insane) who went on a date with Davey but who actually likes Jules, while Rachel already lost one boyfriend to Alex, and Shannon and Connor like each other but don’t seem to like anyone else (which is convenient for them), and Cass knows everyone on the outside world, while Brittney’s in the corner doing a conga-line by herself again.

    I need a bloody flow-chart for this.

    As an aside, I love Jules and think I want to marry him. Carry on.

    • What’s with the boys liking Alisha? She’s horrible; looking, personality AND character. I think Paradise Island is sinking because the cast don’t seem likeable.

      • That’s endemic of the Bachelor franchise in general, the last few years. The deliberately stack the casts full of unlikeable a-holes, and here we are.

        • I would rather see people I like. People who are funny and interesting.
          I could overhear a bunch of juvenile bogans for these conversations.

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