Bold & Beautiful: To Groundhog or not to Groundhog

OVER TO DAISY, with thanks …
Okay. It seems everyone is too bashful to do a new thread, in spite of all their writing talent and word skills, so here I go, but as Judge Judy always says, this is “just hear say”.
It will be like driving blind. But maybe not since I have been given such good accounts of B&B events so far. I hope this is not like Chinese Whispers.
From what I can glean; Hope is as thick as Wyatt’s waistline. She has no sense that something fishy is going on, in spite of getting more clues than an episode of Midsomer Murders. Pheobeth will have an easy time sneaking out of the house when she’s a teenager. Liam is just as useless.
Quinn and Eric are still away as is Shauna the sheep. That’s just weird, unless there is a convention on in Florida for aging rich people and they all wanted to go. I have to question why Eric and Quinn would invite Shauna to stay if they don’t want a threesome.
Thomas has now become so evil that he is no longer Evil Thomas, but Dastardly Thomas. His villainy has earned him the right to the title. He will now be able to steal ice-cream from small children and forge their artwork.
As for Brooke and Ridge (ho hum), still kissing, but finding time to meddle in Thomas and Hope’s love life, and bat for opposite sides.
Steffy is still being Sensible Stay at home Mom Steffy. Well sensible for B&B. She did let her mother buy her a child. But other than that, sensible.
The interns, Zoe, Emma and Zander are all caught up in the intrigue of Phoebeth’s real parentage. It’s hard work being a Forrester intern/model. You have to multi-task. Charlie the security guard and Pam though, as useless as a comb in Woolif’s travel bag.
Anyhow. That’s what I have taken so far, in a nutshell, from Windsong, Dave and Sarah. I am sniffing the end of Groundhog may be near.
Thankyou to everyone for keeping Woolif and me informed, amused, entertained and even aghast during the last few weeks. We do really appreciate it. I’m glad we didn’t delay our flight until Hope worked out the truth.
Signing off,



  1. Of course, since this edition, poor Little Emma has seen been to the bottom of Hollywood Hill (my American geography is poor), in a metal casket. I hope this doesn’t mean episodes of accolades for her, like we had for Carolyn. It was hard to feel the grief.

  2. Thanks daisy.

    “Blessed are those that cannot see, yet still believe”

    Thomas has gone from forging children’s drawings and deleting photos from phones to murder since you’ve been gone. He ‘s devil’s spawn.

    Uncle Justin the lawyer can afford a real expensive , supersized casket for Emma. Emma left the building after losing control on Mulholland Drive. I hope Det. Sandwichez has a close eye on Thomas at the funeral. He’ll be there for the food.

    • “Super sized coffin”.
      “There for the food”.
      Quality writing. 😁😁😁😁

  3. “Quinn and Eric are still away as is Shauna the sheep. That’s just weird, unless there is a convention on in Florida for aging rich people and they all wanted to go.”

    I’m starting to think that Quinn and Eric have joined a cult in Mexico, or something. Or maybe Shauna was really committed to her plan of renting out the Forrester Mansion as an AirBNB, so she planted some illicit substances in their luggage before they left on their trip, and we’ll be hearing from Quinn and Eric in about 8 to 10 years, with good behaviour.

    I still think Shauna is facedown in a ditch, somewhere, sleeping off an epic weekend bar crawl.

    Meanwhile, Zoey’s spent 6 months, now, having the same loud conversation about Phoebeth with multiple people. Despite the fact that two people have overheard this (and Thomas just killed one of them), Charlie and Pam continue to remain utterly oblivious. Damn it, Pamela. We’re not asking too much here. Earn your pay-cheque!

    When do we think that Ridge will notice that his son is evil incarnate? And where’s Taylor been, in all this? Off buying more babies from random people she meets in outdoor cafes?

  4. “Super sized coffin”.
    “There for the food”.
    Quality writing, both of you. 😁😁😁😁
    You should be writing for the show.

  5. Eric and Quinn come back to the hastily convened memorial service for little Emma. Everyone’s there , soaking up the gloomy atmosphere. The cockroach lurks near the fringes, having flashbacks to the murder. Of course, Skeletor , Flo and Zander round on him, intimating that they know Thomas has done a bad deed. Thomas reckons all’s well because the secret is safe. Donna has even covered up for the solemn occasion. Ad break

    Sally Spectra is back, looking fabulous and tries to patch things up with pious.Flubber. Tributes flow at Emma’s gig. Zander talks a load of simpering hogwash while the roach listens, clenching his jaw. Ad breaks.

  6. Justin informs us that the crack LA cops found something at the death scene that might explain the “accident”. (Thomas has dropped a can of spray tan?). Justin eyeballs the roach as he says this. It’s gloomy ….and uncomfortable around the table of wake refreshments. . There’ll be a lot of cakes and lemon bars left over. Tears flow.

    Cops know that Emma was texting Hope and on her way to her. There’s an avalanche of Emma flashbacks. “she was better that all of us”. Thomas bleats some hollow condolences to Justin.

    Sally keeps crawling to Flubber and breaks down. She blames the roach.

  7. Brooke and Hope start interrogating the roach, asking what he and Emma were arguing about . He produces the trademark jaw clench and we go the final ad break. Six minutes till Groundhog Day. It’ll probably be taken up with the memorial service. Texting a driving, it’ll get ya.

    We get a declaration of Flubber love from Sally then Thomas bullshits that he was arguing with Emma about her dancing at the next Forrester show. Hope is impressed. Boy , is she dumb. Thomas says “I’m here” , repeatedlyto console Hope. Curtain.

  8. Thanks, Dave.

    I am having to explain to Woolif. “Who is Clubber”. That’s Wipes because he has flesh like a pork belly, or Japanese businessman’s love dolly..
    Who carried the coffin? Did they bring in extra hands? I think Thomas chose a very convincing alibi. “No Little Emma. We don’t need an intern running the fashion show (like she did the last one, Windsong), and opening with a dance from the MacramΓ© Tellytubby and her back-up dancers”. He would have said, “No, Little Emma. Who even lets their interns run the show?”. See even I have fallen for it.
    I’m trying to imagine Sally looking good. Flame haired, in a horse harness strap mourning dress? Sounds like she might be trying to dress like Flo now. πŸ˜›
    Trivia.: was shopping yesterday and saw a blouse that was straight out of Brooke’s wardrobe.

    • There was no coffin. You’d think it was an essential.

      Sally’s hair is a lot longer and no black plastic outfit this time.

  9. Emma’s wake and memorial is held at Forrester Creations, which totally seems an appropriate place to do that. Quinn and Eric make their long-awaited return (just when you start enjoying your holiday, one of the interns dies. It’s so inconvenient), probably just to shovel the free food into Quinn’s purse. Donna covers up, but Steffy arrives in a black miniskirt that shows off more leg than a Christmas ham, bless her.

    Everyone goes on and on about what a great dancer Emma was (clearly they were looking at different flashbacks than the rest of us). Brooke and Hope ask Thomas what he was arguing with Emma about, right before she died, but Thomas feeds them a story about Emma wanting to dance at the next runway show (even watching, I was thinking, this is some high-quality bullshit, right here). Brooke is naturally cynical about Thomas anyway and seems to smell a rat, but she doesn’t push it. Justin says that the police found Emma’s phone and she was in the middle of texting Hope when she crashed. Once AGAIN, something strange happens regarding Hope, but Hope, being an idiot, doesn’t really think twice about it. My gosh, girlfriend.

    Meanwhile, Sally drops around to Wyatt’s place to yell at him for half an hour, for some reason. Those two are exhausting.

  10. Emma may be dead but no time like the present for Steffy to organise a beach party for Liam, Hope, Douglas and the roach, who’s admiring his muscled torso in the mirror and fantasizing what a great day this will be. Steffy’s in a hot bikini and Hope’s done up to the nines as well. Liam tries hard not to perve at Steffy’s bust which is pushed higher than Bill’s tower.

    The roach buys some drugs from a sleazy acquaintance. Brooke tries to talk Hope out of the party. Of course, Ridge wants her to go. Half time ad break. Viewers are in a world of pain at this point.

  11. A few days seem to have passed since Emma’s wake. The extended Forrester/Logan clan have decided on a beach picnic day! Thomas gets things off with some shirtless push-ups (soooo hot, yet soooo evil) and coaching Douglas to be as twee as possible to get Hope onside, which he does.

    Thomas also takes a delivery from a frighteningly-outdated stereotype named Vinnie, who gives him a small bag of pills. Thomas has already killed somebody, so dealing drugs almost seems too small-time for him. Either he’s going to roofie Hope, or he’s going to plant incriminating evidence in Liam’s bag. Vinnie also takes the chance to hit on Brooke, Thomas’s “hot step-mother” (my gosh, what is it with single men and Logan women? It is a pheremone thing?).

    Over at Steffy’s place, Liam’s had a hair-cut, and Steffy’s in a bikini that is literally dangerously-close to bursting. For a fashion business, why do none of these people seem to understand basic sizing? Anyway, we have the most awkward family reunion ever, with Hope looking frazzled as usual, Thomas being creepy, Liam snipping at Thomas at every chance, while Steffy yells at everyone to be nice to each other. Ah, the rich and famous Forresters aren’t that much different from everyone else, are they?

    Back at the ranch, I want to award Ridge points for trying to get Brooke to stop micro-managing Hope’s life, but at the same time, Ridge loses points for singing the praises of the son who killed somebody two days ago!

    Back at Steffy’s, and Hope greets baby Phoebe by accidentally calling her, “Beth”, and completely freaking out about it. Roll credits.

  12. Liam offers beers to the guests. The atmosphere is thick and shakes the roaches hand. Carbonated water is the topic in the discomfort. Awkward. Ad break. Thomas has some kidnapping or date rape planned, he’s been there before with Caroline. Little Douglas stands there with his cute Beatle haircut , just a pawn in the sick roaches game.

    Brooke and Ridge are fighting again. Ridge tries some romance but Brooke is up for interfering in Hope / Thomas. Ridge is frustrated and thinks Thomas is great.

    God, I haven’t got to Hope’s Freudian slip yet. Thanks Windsong. How’s the high heels Steffy’s wearing with her bikini?

    Liam tells the silver tongued roach to butt out of micro managing, too.

    The Freudian slip “Beth ” comes with orchestral thumps and the curtain falls.

    Houndgrog Day.

  13. Talking about silver tongues; bloody hell Dave and Windsong, you two have what…platinum pens. Both of you. I could not have enjoyed it more if I watched. You should be doing this for a living.
    Get that whacky, cranky, hilarious novel going. Or get a job on radio. You guys are so brilliant.

    But back to the show….this is the stickiest web of crimes I think B&B has ever had. Murder, kidnapping of the worst kind, fraud, drugs. And all because of Dr Hooks and Taylor. Helped along by a slew of idjuts. When will it end so we can just go back to sax music, lemon bars, purple push-ups and Brooke sleeping with one of sisters’ or daughters’ husbands. Oh that’s something Windsong might not know.
    A decade or so ago, Brooke was sneaking behind her daughter, Bridgitte’s back and sleeping with her husband, Deacon (an occcasionally recurring likeable bad boy). They had a baby; Hope. Don’t ask me how that relates Hope to Bridgitte.

    • I know about Brooke and Deacon and Bridgitte and Hope. I was thinking about that the other day, actually. If she slept with her daughter’s husband and had another child, there should be huge age-gaps between all the members of the family … alas, time moves different in soap-opera worlds.

  14. It’s the miraculously rapid rate of child growth. Then when they reach 30, the growth rate comes to a crawl.

  15. Who knows what havoc Thomas can wreak with those three Panadol he bought off that creep? ( who incidentally for future reference Ridge knows)

    Thanks for the kind words , daisy. We’ve been working harder than Forrester interns keeping you in the loop. I’m even listening to volume on and you had to be there to hear Hope lose her shit over “Phoebe”. All this time no one has bothered to send Hope to a psychiatrist, never mind the interfering, stalking that’s following her at every turn. Liam is no support at all.

    • “We’ve been working harder than Forrester interns keeping you in the loop.”

      Be fair though. A hard-working Forrester intern? I mean, that’s a pretty low bar to clear.


    • I’ve got more drugs than Thomas. It’s why Woolif and I can’t go on TAR. We’d need a little trolley for our “life support”. πŸ˜‚
      I could make Liam happy. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      • Thomas would be lucky to knock out a groundhog with what he has. He’s supposed to be a hard working “designer”.

  16. Don’t forget I’m a granny and my πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’– Means I’d make you scones with blueberry jam and cream. πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

  17. Oh, I just realised it was Friday yesterday, so we’re not going to get any resolution to Hope accidentally calling Phoebe, “Beth” until Monday evening.

    You have to think, though, that with the rate these people get married, divorced and swap bed partners, that accidentally calling out the wrong name at an inopportune moment wouldn’t exactly be an uncommon occurance, would it?

  18. Rather than show at the beach party, horny Wyatt asks Flo to move into his place. Of course, she doesn’t want to say that things are pretty swank at Eric’s. He tells her he’s dumped Sally.

    Hope apologises profusely for her calling Beth Beth. The roach, Liam and cleavage packing Steffy look on. It’s an awkward as hell prelude to a beach party . Ad break

    Out of the blue, returning Shauna interrrupts Wyatt going in for the kill. Wyatt announces his love and plans for domesticity.

  19. The only moderately-interesting things that happen today are Wyatt asking Flo to move in (talk about a down-grade from the mansion), Shauna suddenly existing again (dropping in to give Flo her blessing in terms of shacking up with Wyatt, and to announce that she’s heading back to Las Vegas to help Flo protect the Beth secret), and Liam finally drinking the poisoned margarita. I mean, we don’t know what Thomas put in it, but Thomas monologued, “Good bye Liam” as Liam starting taking sips, so I doubt it was a breath mint.

  20. Hope bleats a verbal sledgehammer at Liam ” I know Phoebe isn’t your biological child” while he tries to reassure her in the pantry. He might be divorced…but he’s 110% there for her.

    The Panadol loaded roach is in the sitting room with Steffy and the kids , looking evil. Ad break . Half time. Nada’s happened.

    Shauna pressures to Flo to keep her mouth shout. She’s done a good job of that so far.

    As if Liam needed drugging to render him unconscious.

    • “She’s done a good job of that so far.”

      She has, though, hasn’t she? My gosh, Flo isn’t just terrible at keeping secrets. She blabbed to Zoey who blabbed to Zander who then blabbed to Emma, and she’d also blabbed to Thomas who killed Emma to keep her quiet.

      Normally, trusting someone like Flo is a bad idea because she couldn’t keep a secret, but trusting Flo is actually getting people killed. That’s, like, a whole seperate level of *terrible* secret-keeping ability.

  21. The roach urges Hope to “move on ” from Liam, because he’s blissfully happy at Steffy’s , so she should move on , too. I take it Liam’s about to get Mickey Finned.
    Seven minutes till Groundhog Day. Hasta la vista , Liam. With that new haircut, he deserves to be drugged. The party atmosphere is maudlin. Liam always drinks beer, not Margaritas. He’s dumb.

  22. Ha ha. Just what we’ve been waiting for all weekend. Another groundhog, tougher than last night’s veal. Liam doesn’t need a mickey finn to be dazed and confused, nor to sleep with Stephy.
    I have yet to see the Forrester “youth” throw a fun party. They just stand aroung in bikinis with open flimsy beach coats. Am I right? Guys in American board shorts. And if Nicole was there, she would have been bobbing up and down, and calling it dancing and having a good time.
    I’d almost rather listen to Eric play the piano.

    • You got the beach party appareil right. Thomas in “bored” shorts. Any excuse to see orange,plastic flesh bought at the gym/plastic surgeon on this show. Eric’s the one being played at the moment.

      • Did Flubber have his blubber out, or did they call in the heavy artillery, Carter and Zander to heave beside Steffy’s cleavage?

        • Only folks at the maudlin beach party are Liam, Hope, Steffy and the roach…..and Liam won’t be the life of the party when those Margarita pills kick in. How will Liam act stupefied , so we get it? Maybe Douglas is there ….but who cares?

          Flo and Wyatt are planning on going but their sex life is getting in the way. Wyatt’s horny 24/7

  23. Steffy announces “the girls are out” . You can say that again. Liam suspects something about his doped drink. Roach bides it’s time.

    Flo tells sweet little lies to nosy Flubber about why Shauna the sheep hauled her arse to Vegas so quickly. She’ll move in. Malibu madness. California concubine. Sin by the sea. Gotta say , Flo looks good for this occasion and lies about the secret. In yer face, Flubber. Ad break.

  24. A short picnic on the beach and Steffi comes back in bronzed as I don’t know what. Sun must be extra strong over there.
    Thomas has drugged Liam. God he’s evil. The drug has made Liam stupid and now there is sex happening with Steffi, but will he remember when the effects wear off and will Steffi get pregnant. Sex has already happened with Wyatt and Flo – Lordie, he’s going to be so shocked when the truth about Beth comes out and Flo goes to prison. Must be another public holiday as no one is working – again. Steffi does very little for her $1mil pa!!

    • You got it Sara; quick tan, quick divorce, quick exchange of lovers, quick child life cycle, long lunch break. πŸ˜„

  25. Ever wonder what Liam is like on magic mushrooms? I’m sorry daisy, but you had to be here. Try to convey what happened , Windsong. I’m defeated. Thanks , Sara. You’re joking that sex is happening with Steffy/ Liam?. Not so maudlin now.
    Steffy’s as brown as you know what.

    Hope doesn’t appreciate Liam’s upbeat , in love with everyone mushroom mood and cracks another wobbly.

    • Hang on, I was walking my dog today, I’ll have to catch the replay on Tenplay. Gosh, the one episode I skip each week is always the one where something batshit insane happens.

    • I might be able to catch it on a dld. But right now it’s beach party Euro style and I’m distracted by a fat pair of French boobs wobbling about in front of me. Funny how it’s a family affair and young sons, old uncle and all your boobs.
      Sorry, back to reality.

  26. Speaking of dogs, in the mood for love Liam’s humping a cushion when Steffy goes up to the bedroom to “check” on him. Gleeful Thomas has encouraged Steffy to go to him. Steffy could take advantage of Liam here, he’s on another planet.

    Back at Flubber’s, Flo’s down to her undies. Unbelievable. Liam has six minutes to bonk Steffy.

  27. Thomas shovels a whole load of trash into Hope’s head about how Liam and Steffy love each other. Upstairs, Liam bleats a load of Bryan Adams lyrics to Steffy and soon Liam kisses her. He snaps out of it and asks himself what’s wrong with himself. Steffy has stripped down a little and reckons Liam is too hot to resist in his board shorts and shirt. (He looks like a ten yr old)She locks lips with him again and tells him nothing’s wrong. Old life of the party Liam brings home the bacon. Curtain. Yes, you gotta tenplay this ep, Windsong.

    • “Steffy has stripped down a little and reckons Liam is too hot to resist in his board shorts and shirt.”

      Liam’s barely on the top ten list of male “Bold” hotties, but at the moment, he looks like a homeless person who’s just spent a weekend at a music festival. Apparently Steffy has strange turn-on’s in men … but well, on this show, that’s par for the course, really.

      • Should Steffy have taken advantage of Liam, given he had the mushroom quiche?
        Windsong, Thomas plied Carolyn with alcohol when she had accidentally spaced out on Pam Pills. Then he assumed she gave permission for sex when what she had actually said was, ” zzzzzzzzzzz”.

        • Well, in Steffy’s defense, she had no idea that Thomas had drugged Liam. I could not even begin to imagine where that leaves them all, legally, but the episode ended with Steffy and Liam just making out on the bed, so there’s time to turn back.

          • I mean, Liam was just acting like an idiot, as usual.

            Hope was sure pissed off that he glossed over Catalina in his state of roach enabled bliss.

  28. So, we join the Forrester grandkids back from the most dismal day at the beach, like, ever. Steffy looks like she gave the kids to Liam and, instead, took a cab around to the tanning salon on the corner (Hope, meanwhile, looks pale as a ghost. I like to imagine that, wherever Hope goes, a storm cloud hovers about three feet above her head, and just kind of follows her around everywhere). And yes, the “The girls are out!” jokes write themselves. All I can say is, yes, they certainly are.

    Lord save us. Stoned-Liam is even more irritating than sober-Liam. Drugs are supposed to make you mellow, Liam, they’re not supposed to turn you into the Energiser Bunny’s love-child with Bobo the clown. I don’t blame Dave for giving up on this tonight. And c’mon Thomas. Vehicular manslaughter isn’t beyond you, but your plan to get rid of Liam involved nothing more than industrial-strength viagra? You’re slipping, you dastardly bastard.

    The episode ends with Liam and Steffy passionately making out on Liam’s bed. Steffy was an active participant, but Liam still seems high as a kite.

    Meanwhile, over in Wyatt’s sex shack, Wyatt is saying all the lovely awesome things to Flo that he said to Sally before they broke up. Maybe it’s because I haven’t watched as long as everyone else, but Wyatt’s only storylines seem to be watching him fall in lust with pretty girls. Whoever the girl, he certainly doesn’t need any of those pills from Thomas’s friend.

  29. Yes, the girls are out. Would it be rude of me to take a pic of the fat French boobs on the. beach next to me? I could pretend I was shooting Woolif’s tummy. I guess you might have noticed it growing in my holiday snaps. Uluru.

    But back to Wipes aka Flubber. He has been delegated to the role of playboy, but it used to be a Flubbet, Hope, Liam love tragedy, before it was a Flubber, Steffy Liam love triangle.
    Flubber was always wearing Liam’s old girlfriend.

  30. Liam can’t remember that he and flaxen haired, purring Steffy did the deed.

    Brooke nosies Hope about the beach party. Stupid Hope annulled the marriage and can’t believe Liam isn’t all over him like a cheap suit. Hope suspects that something was different about Liam. He had some disco biscuits, Hope and was the life of the party.

    “The girls are up!” today.

    The roach has a wedding rock for Hope and he’ll use little innocent cherub Douglas to suck her into accepting it. Ad break.

    Liam quizzes Steffy about what happened. Liam decides he has to go see Hope. He’s back to normal, folks.

    Brooke and Hope keep the chin wagging about Liam. Brooke starts bashing Thomas and white anting his plans. Thomas is busy brainwashing little Douglas about the facts of life. Little Douglas will be bait.

    Icy meeting between Liam and Hope. He profusely apologises. Hope’s as dirty as . Ad break . Half time.

    • Paragraph 2, “Liam isn’t all over her like a cheap suit” it should be . The FOUR MINUTE ad break let me check my “work”

      Thomas goes to Steffy’s to do some more dirty work. He checks if Steffy’s bed’s been slept in and starts the interrogating.

      Over at Hope’s house of pain, Liam ‘s reflects on last night and lies that he’s “done things he knows he wouldn’t have done”…etc and admits to bonking Steffy. The harrowing music takes us to an ad break.

  31. Yeah, I missed the first 3/4 of the episode, but I caught the scene where Liam has obviously spent the night rutting with Steffy like horny minks, and he immediately rushes off to tell his ex. Which is totally something that normal people do.

    Hope spent so long pushing Liam away and now seems annoyed and sad that Liam got together with someone else. But I think that’s because Hope is a moron.

    • Liam has to rush and tell Hope in case she finds out the secret that he slept with Steffy. Ha ha that wouldn’t happen until 6 interns, 3 family members and dt Sandwiches and Officer Nibbles (salute Top Cat) know about it first.

      • Yeah, Hope’s just so awesome at finding out secrets. How long has this Beth thing been going on, now?

        • Daisy will be back before “the secret” is out. I reckon three months…but who’s counting when it’s wall to wall groundhogs?

          • And provided Thomas keeps whittling down the cast members who find out (nothing says, “We’re still grieving our intern who was a valued member of the company and our family” like “who wants to drink margaritas and go to the beach?”), this could last for years.

  32. Hope is acting affronted by Liam’s deed and she starts crying again. Liam has not heard that a gentleman never tells.No, he gushes like broken sewer pipe about the deed to Hope.Then she falls on her sword , mea culpa style. Such a martyr. She knows she can move on to the roach and his world of sleaze. Windsong is right. Hope is a moron.

    Thomas wheedles the night of amore vital details out of Steffy then shits himself when he knows Liam has gone to see Hope. He used the old”lost my phone ” ruse to distract Steffy while he checks her bed. Steffy knows Thomas is happy about what happened.

    It’s a groundhog. Curtain.

  33. Oh no. I just had a flash image of the Roach sniffing Steffy:s sheets. No pawn is too sacred for the Roach’s evil machinations. Not his sister, nor his son, nor the object of his desire. Just like any Roach, he will slip through a crack when discovered. Even with murder on his CV.

    • The roach merely scurried into the bedroom noted that Steffy’s bed hadn’t been slept in and assumed Steffy and Liam were at it like rabbits elsewhere. The state Liam was in , he would have done it in a toilet.

  34. No one owns a toilet. Nor a bum.
    I’m all my B&B years, no one has ever let one out. Not even a little squeaky one.

  35. Another nothing episode where nothing of consequence seems to happen.

    Proving that the Forresters have serious boundary issues, the ep begins with Thomas congratulating Steffy on hooking up with Liam the night before. Thomas leaves just as Ridge drops around to see his grand-daughters, and Steffy relays the story onto him — because that’s totally something you would immediately tell your father. Steffy lampshades this, at one point (“I’m not having this conversation with you!”) but immediately continues to have this conversation with him. Does nobody in this world have a hobby? No, because somebody hooks up with their ex-boyfriend, and five minutes later, it’s in the family newsletter.

    Over at Hope’s, Liam and Hope have the exact same tortured conversation about Beth and annulling their marriage, that they’ve had about 500 times before. Hope cries a lot. Liam shouts and gets sad. I’m almost convinced that the show’s editors just copy-and-paste the exact same scene, and put it into every two or three episodes, just to pad out the run-time. The one bright spot was Liam actually emoting about Thomas (“He IS an evil villain!” Exact quote. That is remarkable genre awareness, Liam).

    Meanwhile, Thomas might as well have a flashing neon sign hanging over his head, blinking, “Evil”, but yet nobody thinks twice about it. Sigh.

    • Thanks. My first comment got swallowed into spam , I presume

      It was about Steffy blabbing about her sex life and Hope tearing strips off Liam.

      We miss daisy’s screen shots. How can one describe the look of hatred that Liam manages to conjure to shoot at the roach, when the roach orders him to get out of Hope’s house? There’s the sinister cello muzak that highlights the roaches work.

      • At least angry Hope is moderately more interesting than sad Hope.

        Gosh, I cannot be the only person in the world who’s just about had his fill of sad Hope. You wanted your husband to leave you, Hope, what did you think was going to happen?!

        • Careful what you ask for , Hope. ” Go to Steffy….just don’t shag her” That’s gonna work on this show, alright. At least Ridge was wised up,philosophising that it was only a matter of time. Actually, it was a bit slow for, Beverley Hills.

          Hope, Thomas, and Ridge already know about the beach party sex.

          Ridge visits Steffy , but doesn’t see the kids or bring gifts.

          Tomorrow, Il Giardino’s will be abuzz with the sordid details.

  36. Thomas is an “evil bad guy” according to Liam. Apologies to all the bad guys who aren’t evil.

    Liam will “always love” Hope ( except when his drink has been spiked). Pass the tissues, then.

    Curtain. Groundhog City. Is Steffy drugging those babies to keep them asleep?

  37. “Copy and paste”. πŸ˜‚

    Oh, I thought that when Hope had been whining, “Go be with Steffy”, that sex might have been implied. Or inferred. I must Google that one day.
    (I must have missed that class).
    If Hope’s idea of “Go be with Steffy”, just meant changing nappies, (the babies’ not Steffy’s), then why the annulment?
    Which brings me to the question of, “How are they able to annul their marriages all the time”? I thought you had to have not consumated, or other very extenuating circumstances.

    • Liam, actually, did ask Hope the question, today, that probably ninety-percent of the audience have been asking themselves. “Why does losing Beth mean that we have to lose each other?!?” I’m not sure whether Hope answered, or just cried some more. She’s good at that.

  38. Hope seems to think that she can be with Thomas without sex too. Maybe Thomas can promise young Douglas that Hope will get a bunk in his room.

  39. So, at least that’s one mystery solved. It’s Independance Day, in America, ergo the Forresters all have a few days off to go to the beach, lounge around the pool and sleep with their step-siblings and in-laws.

    Thomas continues to leave his shirts in the cupboard, while Hope continues to let herself be obviously manipulated by Thomas with frightening ease. You gotta wonder, is Hope this gullible normally? Is she just a sucker for any dark-haired guy with a smouldering gaze and perky nipples? How many phone and email scams does she fall for, on a day-to-day basis? “Sorry, guys, but he swore he was a genuine Nigerian prince!”

    While the baby girls continue sleeping (I’d be getting those kids checked for narcolepsy. I mean, it’s kind of worrying), Liam and Steffy have another conversation about how Thomas is intense and possibly creepy, while Thomas spends the back half of the episode coaching Douglas into asking Hope to marry his father. He might be evil, but it is genuinely disturbing watching Thomas coaching Douglas into stalking Hope by proxy, and I feel like the show isn’t giving that *enough* weight.

    Regardless, Douglas is really irritating and I can’t stand that kid.

    The episode ends with everyone watching the fireworks. Steffy and Liam are sitting with the girls, and the writers remind us how they don’t know what the word “subtlety” means when Steffy tells Liam that, “Beth must be on your mind.” Actually, Steffy, currently, Beth is sitting on his knee.

    Over at the cabin, Hope and Thomas are watching the fireworks when Douglas launches into a (coached) speech about how happy Hope makes him, and would she marry his daddy and become his new mommy, complete with gigantic diamond engagement ring? Thomas feigns ignorance (because most toddlers carry around diamond rings that could sink a battleship in their pocket) while Hope looks horrified. End credits.

    My gosh, Hope. He is EVIL. Figure it out already.

    • Brooke is now in on the goss that Liam and Steffy ” made love”~ maybe one of them did. The other’s lights were burning bright, but no one was home. There’ll be more meddling from Brooke and Ridge.

      Topless Thomas keeps up the emotional abuse on Douglas and Hope.

      • Is “made love” still that common, as expressions go? They all sound like 18th century English poets.

    • Don’t worry Windsong. By the time I return, Douglas will be a frightengly but understandably disturbed 15 year old…….with a really bad Oedipus complex. After all who is Hope actually going to be walking down the aisle in Eric’s loungeroom with.

  40. Hope has always been a bit stupid with her devotion to Loverboy Liam, but she had her wits about her enough to connive and steal him from Steffy when he and Steffy had a rough patch (snigger….cue jokes about rough patche’s πŸ˜›) But lately Hope has sunk so low that she was probably eligible for a government grant at school.

  41. Skeletor asks Zander to put Emma;s murder out of his tiny mind and enjoy life. She uses the word prison to enforce her tired agenda.

    Brooke tells Liam how disappointed she is that he bonked Steffy. It’s all over town. Liam pleads that it was “unplanned”

    Thomas coaches his little roach to propose and there’s fantasies interspersed.Thomas is a sick puppy. Ad break.

  42. Hope asks the roach if he didn’t coach the little roach to propose to her . He’ll lie.

    Zander now fancies himself a detective and runs off to prove “the truth”. Skeletor holds their precious relationship over Zander’s head.

    Brooke and Liam have a brainstorm that something is off about Thomas. Brooke’s worried about Hope’s well being but doesn’t want to piss Ridge off. Ad break.

    This is one awful episode of rehashed conversations. Prepare for Groundhog lift off.

    Zander gets Charlie to roll the CCTV footage and they watch Emma’s final movements. He gets rid of Charlie and nosies through the footage more closely..

    Bless the little innocent roach for blabbing to Brooke and Liam about the “engagement ring” They’re horrified, of course.

    • “This is one awful episode of rehashed conversations…”

      Wasn’t it? I switched the TV on to yet another session of “We should tell!” “No we shouldn’t!” from Xander and Zoey, and I just groaned. Can Thomas go with both of them for a drive in the country? They are just so irritating. We get it, shut up already!

      Meanwhile, Hope has just lost all sympathy from me, for being a total a-grade moron. Thomas obviously put his annoying child up to proposing, but he fobs it off … and she believes him? At this point, she damn well deserves him.

      At least Douglas was slightly useful today, spilling the beans to Liam and Brooke about Thomas manipulating him to win Hope. What’s the bet nothing comes of it, tomorrow, though? Grrr.

  43. Thomas keeps bullshitting to gullible Hope and we go to another ad break.

    We haven’t seen Charlie for a while. He crowed about the awesomeness of the FC CCTV technology. It’s in the car park at least….but they need it inside and this case would have been cracked. Guess the Forresters et al don’t want to be seen lazing around , meddling and gossiping.

    Brooke gets on her high horse about the child abuse of the little roach. The old roach keeps brainwashing Liam . The roach preaches about “family” and “motherhood”

  44. Zander finds the footage of the roach scurrying off after Emma on CCTV and pronounces him a murderer.

    Like Dracula moving in on his bride, the roach approaches Hope with the sparkling rock, spitting Bryan Adams lyrics at bamboozled Hope. She”be the happiest woman in the world , he drivels. Curtain.

  45. Now, let’s see if this works. I left my phone at home so am using Arthur’s who just scored by saying that I looked good in my new bathers. Not really. Well done Arthur. Well the Roach sounds busy, scurrying around.
    I would have thought baby stealing where about 1/2 a dozen people know about it would get around quicker than a night of “stoned love”.

    • Trying to see the future here, maybe this night of “stoned love” could lead to yet another pregnancy and cuter than cute, fast growing LA zygote.

  46. Ive missed two episodes but will be catching up tomorrow am. I think we won’t be waiting too long for the big reveal. I hope Daisy will be home before it happens, and as I go os end September hope it happens before I go!!

  47. No telling, Sara and Dave but there is hope now that Cherrrleee is on the trail.
    Yes, I can imagine one night of love under the influence could lead to another adorable invisible child. It reminds me of when Liam got drunk with Stephie the night before his wedding to Hope was to be. Windsong; he showed up to his wedding on the back of Steffy’s bike with a tattoo and coloured mohawk. Poor Liam just has bad luck. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  48. Hope just accepted Thomas’s marriage proposal.

    I missed the rest of the episode because I put a cricket bat through my television.

    • That marriage could take place in jail. Skeletor and Flo can be bridesmaids and Zander best man.

      • I’m eight minutes in and feel the need for a cricket bat, too.

        Charlie almost overheard the secret. Whew.

        Ridge gets dragged into the mess , delaying Liam getting to interrupt the roaches proposal sting. Ridge is on the roaches side, of course and starts preaching hogwash.

        Det. Zander bolts off with his cctv “proof”, like a groundhog on steroids. Charlie’s donuts are still on the desk.

        Ridge and Hope prove that morons can be wealthy designers.

        The roaches hisses to Hope that “Beth is in a wonderful place now” Yeah, Steffy’s beach house. Fianally she gives in to the sick stream of Bryan Adams lyrics the roach recycles. Ad break.

  49. Ridge stupidly thinks the little roaches coached proposal was cute. Meantime, Liam’s being delayed busting Hope’s brainwashing session. Hope flashbacks to Liam’s proposal but the coached cherub’s gig has worked. This is sick shit.

  50. Ridge and Brooke start fighting. He sledges her by calling her Stephanie. (an interfering bitch from B&B lore). Trouble in paradise.

    The sinister music rises as Hope falls into the roaches clutches.

    Det.Zander breaks into the roaches car and finds “the proof”. Guess Zander will be dead next week. Or arrested for break and enter.

    The roach tries to follow Hope to bed but she cock blocks him. ” We’ll soon be husband and wife”, he promises. Evil . Curtain.

  51. Skeletor doesn’t believe Det Zander and his “proof”. She’s terrified of prison.

    Stupid Steffy thinks Douglas ‘s proposal was his idea. The roach phones Steffy’s and announces the nuptials. Liam’s there.

    Brooke can’t believe that Hope bought the roaches proposal package. Ridge vists the topless roach.

    Ad break.

  52. Hope gets a grilling from Brooke on the difference beteween manipulation and destiny.

    Ridge tries talking sense to the roach, who’s in a fantasy world.

    Zander gloats that the roach leaves his car unlocked and so he went through the roaches GPS on his car and hoists the proof in front of Skeletor. He pronounces the roach a heartless killer. Skeletor almost sees the light.

    Steffy’s not much help to Liam, she’s in favour of the roach/ Hope marriage and tells the whining machine that is Liam to get over it. Ad break.

    Skeletor stays skeptical. We’re wasting time watching her pitiful performance.

    Steffy and Liam are getting towards fighting over this. Already.

    Brooke looks stunning but she fails trying to deprogram Hope , who’s been enamoured of the baby roach.

    Prepare to release the groundhog.

    Brooke tries to talk Hope out of getting marred( ain’t that rich?)…….then she starts begging. Thomas scares Brooke and besides Hope doesn;t love Thomas, she never will. Ad break

    • “We’re wasting time watching her pitiful performance.”

      You know how, sometimes people over-compensate?

      Like, person A is only working at 50%, so person B cranks it up to 200% to counter-balance?

      Maybe that’s what’s going on with Zoey and Blander. It’s the only thing I can think of, to explain his incredibly-animated over-acting. I mean, his face still looks like it’s trying to escape from the rest of him. It’s bizarre to watch.

      The other twenty minutes of the episode was the Forresters congratulating Thomas on the successful abuse of his own son (which is actually really pissing me off. Everyone’s glossing over this like it’s a small thing, but Thomas using Douglas like that is absolutely dreadful behaviour … and Liam is constantly called irrational and jealous, just for taking issue with Thomas? Really guys?) and stalker-obsession with Hope … and all the non-Forresters begging Hope to grow a brain cell or two. I’m not hopeful, ironically enough.

  53. Six more white knuckle minutes.

    Skeletor joins the flat earthers. Det Zander is frustrated and calls the roach a “bastard”

    The roach accepts Steffy’s best wishes for the bogus marriage. The roach is looking for Zander.

    Liam is whining to Hope now, it’s too late. Hope resents him shagging Steffy. It’s a Californian mess alright. Liam says he understands Hope’s struggle. Hope says her duty is to the little roach. Liam is blathering, trying to get Hope to change her mind. Curtain.

  54. Good Lord, that’s a smorgasbord of crazy California mess. Hope is catching up to Brooke in marriages. I think she has married Liam 4 or 5 times and Flubber only once.
    And why would a marriage proposal from a 6 year old be something you would accept?
    Zander beads to forget about Zoe’s approval and dob immediately before his body is found laying shirtless under a pile of lemon bars. That should arouse Cherrrleee’s suspicions.

    I have a feeling that none of the twenty or so people who know about the kidnapping and now murder are going to tell Hope or the police. It’s a Groundhog Stampede.

      • Who doesn’t sometimes bead to forget their troubles in life, though?

        And this case of insane weirdos has more troubles than most.

  55. I wonder if they changed the actor playing Thomas because the previous, gorgeous one would have not been able to play someone so evil.
    Does anyone else think that maybe Thomas killed Caroline?

    • I was thinking about that the other day, you know.

      Thomas is so obsessed with marrying Hope that Caroline’s sudden death is starting to seem not very sudden at all. At the very least, Caroline’s death seems awfully convenient, doesn’t it?

    • Oh my, I never thought of that. Thomas murdering Caroline. I think Thomas’s obsession is fairly new though. He was obsessed with Caroline, Ivy and Sally before his new Hope fetish, and he never gave Hopeless any thought then. I had even forgotten him competing with Liam for Hope’s affection way back. That was the storyline when I first began watching. Oh, and he used to chase a bit of sexual harrassment skirt around the Forrester office.

      I hope you can tell that I am not typing on my phone and in the car atm.

  56. No B&B today. I bet this is the day it all went down then.

    I can understand you have all smashed your TV sets.

    • No, twas a groundhog, daisy. I had a visitor.

      Not much happened except rehashing. Zander confronted the roach with hsi cctv “proof” and Skeptic Skeletor still hasn’t seen the light.

      Brooke was looking good in black.

      No one has thought of Caroline being a roach casualty. Could be , Sara.

      • I missed it too, I was dog-walking (and getting stuck into a good book). Is it worth a Tenplay watch, Dave?

        Xander is so bloody frustrating. Instead of, you know, alerting the Forresters or going to the police, he just confronts Thomas (a guy Xander knows has already killed somebody) and gives him a chance to go and get rid of the evidence?

        Super-model and world’s dumbest detective.

        • No, Windsong. Not this one. The episode should have been binned. Zander’s solo act is going to get him killed. Okay, so the LA detectives aren’t so great, Zander should at least tell Bill, so he can inform Carter and get the wheels of revenge a rollin’.

          I have a friend going to Croatia soon, daisy.

        • Dave, I hope my travel tips help. We had fun in Split but it’s a scrappy place in need of major town Reno, and some gardening. I suggest Zadar and Dubrovnik and island hopping. My daughter likes Trogir.

  57. Katie, Brooke and Donna try talking sense to Hope. They’re getting nowhere. Hope would walk over hot coals for little Douglas.

    Meantime, Zander is up against Thomas and Skeletor. Thomas reckons Emma was reckless and selfish. Thomas isn’t of course. Skeletor turns on the waterworks again. No one will win Emmys for this scene.

    I smell groundhog. Friday. It’s all bad.

    Zander thinks it’s time to dump Skeletor and he’s going to London. (In a coffin, probably)

      • This may sound harsh, but Zander deserves to die for not just ringing up Crimestoppers and anonymously dropping them all in it.

        • Why the hell do they all keep announcing it to each other?

          If Zander really wanted to get the truth out there, then just bloody well drive over to the Forrester’s house and tell them. Just do it!

  58. Katie, Brooke and Donna try talking sense to Hope. They’re getting nowhere. Hope would walk over hot coals for little Douglas.

    Meantime, Zander is up against Thomas and Skeletor. Thomas reckons Emma was reckless and selfish. Thomas isn’t of course. Skeletor turns on the waterworks again. No one will win Emmys for this scene.

    I smell groundhog. Friday. It’s all bad.

    Thomas threatens the roach that anything hapens to Zoe , he’ll go to the cops. Sinister music.

    The roach starts smooch Hope. No time to waste. Roach wants to eat in and you know what. He may even drug Douglas to get him out of the way. Sinister music.

    The three sexperts Katie, Brooke and Donna waffle on and meddle.

  59. Oh shit, the rotten roach really is going to drug Douglas or immobilise him somehow ( I was just joking above), after he’s cleaned up his room. Sinister music again. Thomas is ” sorry bud”….but he’s on a mission to consummate the deal with crazy Hope. He’s in a semi fantasy state.

    Zander’s chickened out. The roach works his mojo on Zoe to shut up. A photo of a prison should do it.


    • Bloody, stupid Zander. Just tell already.

      So it’s a roofie in the Nesquick for Douglas and one in the Spewmanti for Hope. Or would it be in gin and tonic…or lemon, lime and bitters…..laced with vodka and valium for Dope.
      I was thinking what a lame duck like Hope would drink. Probably a sissy drink like I have.

  60. Oh Lord, I didnt realise that Thomas might drug Douglas. I think we have seen the last of Xander, I think Thomas has plans for him, he will end up in a coffin. Surely the truth will be out soon!

  61. Today, on “Money Can’t Buy Intelligence or Class” … Thomas actually smothers Douglas with a pillow, having no use for him anymore, while Ridge and Hope stand around cooing about how Thomas is tucking Douglas into bed (permanently) and isn’t that sweet and fatherly of him? Meanwhile, Zander finally decides to call the authorities about all the crazy crap that the Forresters have been getting up to … unfortunately, being on the run, he doesn’t have his mobile phone, so he uses the place where he’s hiding … which has a rotary-dial phone. After staring at it helplessly for three hours, he tries to dial a number then accidentally knocks himself out. Then burns the building down. Then causes a car pile-up that smashes 50 cars.

    No, not really. But wouldn’t it be better?

  62. So Thomas’s evil plan, involving Douglas?

    This is so stupid, I’m embarrassed typing it.

    He waited until Douglas was asleep, then hid his phone under Douglas’s bed, with a timed ap. So he shook Douglas’s shoulders to wake him up, and when Douglas opened his eyes? This cartoon ghost (the fakest, most ridiculous-looking ghost you’ve ever seen in your life) was projecting onto the walls of Douglas’s bedroom. The kid starts screaming, Hope dashes in to the rescue, and comes to the conclusion that Douglas needs some stability, so Thomas suggests they get married as quickly as possible.

    I just, I can’t even.

    Not only is Douglas irritating, he’s … not all there upstairs, is he?

      • “Was that for real?”

        I really wish I could say that I made all that up.

        Alas. Nothing about that wasn’t embarrassing for everybody involved.

    • The ghost scene was all you said and more.It was appalling. Thanks for covering it.

      Ridge and Brooke are fighting over Thomas. Ridge reckons that the child abusing murderer is being “supportive” to Hope .and wants to toast the engagement. Brooke’s pissed off alright. No toast on her watch.

      Sally walks in on Flubber’n Flo snogging. Sally pulls rank and sends Flo on a meaningless errand. Sally tries her luck luring Flubber back , but he can’t abide people who keep secrets.

      Brooke tells Hope to hold back the date on the wedding but the roaches ghost apparition is about to scare the fuck out of that little brat Douglas. We thought the roach might drug him. Thomas was terrified by a ghost that wouldn’t scare the skin off a rice pudding. Hope is rattled by the roach ruse and says we better get married asap. Sucked in.

      The roach gloats “you’ll finally be mine. Hope Logan”. Mercifully, the curtain falls on another groundhog day.

      • I mean little Douglas was terrified by the spectral tea towel hovering in his room. He needs to harden the fuck up or he’ll never be a designer..

      • “The ghost scene was all you said and more. It was appalling. Thanks for covering it.”

        That was just … horrifying in unintentional ways, wasn’t it? You think that they blew the special effects budget on Emma’s car crash and that was the best they could do, for a fake ghost?

        Meanwhile, I know we shouldn’t rag on actors who are barely six years old, but don’t you think the director could’ve told Douglas, “You’re supposed to be scared, you’re not supposed to smile”? Maybe he tried, and after the 20th or so take, he was just like, “Y’know what? We’ll just fix it in post.”

    • Im not a fan either. Unfortunately he looks as if someone has put a basin on his head to cut his hair. Poor kid.

  63. So they dressed Douglas as Mo from the 3 Stooges. I still think he is cute.
    I”m surprised that Evil Thomas didn’t have an overhead transparency of Caroline made for the ghost scene.
    Telling Douglas to propose to Hopeless.

    • Oh my gosh, I so thought that’s what he was going to do! A transparent photo of Caroline hovering on the wall … well, a cardboard cut-out version, but the point stands, that’s what I thought he was going to do! “Tell Hope to marry your father! I want this to happen, from beyond the grave! It’s nice here, Douglas, they have sugar-free pop-tarts…”

      • πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ
        Caroline from the grave, “Douglas, clean your room”.

  64. Hope tells Douglas a nauseating bedtime story while Thomas pervs at her legs and drools outside the door. He quietly packs up the ghost projector.

    Brooke and Ridge are fighting over Thomas again, this time in bed. Ridge will strike out here. He gets a quick peck and Brooke resumes lecturing him.

    Steffy’s telling Liam to move on from Hope and let the roach have the spoils. They’re arguing, too. Liam’s going to lose with both Steffy and Hope. Nine mihutes til hog time.

    Hope spurns the topless, on heat roach and says she’s off to sleep with Douglas. Fuming roach thwarted again.

  65. The topless roach tries to sexually assault Hope , who tells him she’s not ready and is not sure when she will be. The Bryan Adams lyrics come thick and fast as the roach assures her “she’s worth it” etc.The ghost ruse worked too well. Hope wants to sleep with that little proposing brat and no one else..

    No sex at Ridge and Brooke’s . An uneasy truce that they won’t meddle in their childrens’ lives , like Stephanie did. Brooke falls asleep on Ridge’s chest.

    Steffy continues brainwashing Liam, ( not too hard to do), who is as befuddled as ever. Liam is sent to do baby chores and he capitulates as only he can.

    Groundhog Day. Curtain.

    • We hope it’s long enough for daisy to get screen shots of Liam and Hope’s faces when the secret finally is unfurled. Thanksgiving at Eric’s would be different if it happened then and there.

      Who’s going to take poor little Douglas to prison to visit his Dad? Will his ghost nightmares have subsided by then?

      • Who is going to help little Douglas recover from his infatuation with Hope. He might have to sleep with her stockings under his pillow. Perhaps Thomas, who has been very resourceful, could make a couple of sock puppets from them. One each.

        • I wonder if they’re prepping for an eventual, “Who shot Thomas?” storyline, because at this point, half the cast has motive and reason.

  66. I’m sorry. I fell asleep. Must be that Margarita Thomas gave me. Maybe tomorrow morning. I feel out of the loop.

      • Now I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight….tell me a story about the chipmunk and all his forest friends.

        • Once upon a time, the forest was cleared to build luxury condos for rich stupid Americans who were all having sex with each other’s in-laws and step-siblings and half-cousins. The end.

        • Once upon a time there was a good and kind King called Eric. Now he was so good and kind that he loved his wife and lots of other wives. And everyone else in this Forrest kingdom also started living each others’ wives.
          Now in the kingdom, down in a deep, dark basement. It was his job to make all of the clothes for the King and Queen. But he started to get angry that no one else in the kingdom did any work. So do you know what he did. He made a magic flute that when he played it, all the babies and children would follow the sound of the magic flute, and the tailor led all the Forrest children far away into the middle of the Forrest where they could not be found. But so that no one would be sad a fairy cast a spell so that none of the Forrest people realized that their children were missing.

  67. Caught it on Tenplay this morning. Nobody really missed much.

    Thomas has just thrown out all of his t-shirts, hasn’t he? Like, his entire wardrobe is just pants, belts and shoes.

    I legitimately thought this show couldn’t get stupider, but this shotgun wedding subplot with Thomas and Hope? Thomas might as well have “predator” on his T-shirt (oh wait, maybe he does, that’s why he threw them all out), while Hope looks as excited for her upcoming nuptials as she would for an enema. Yet, she’s committed to this, despite her obvious misgivings. You expect characters to be flawed and make mistakes, that’s what makes them human and sympathetic. You don’t expect them to be dumbasses. There’s only so much you can take before you stop caring.

    Stephy: “Have you set a date, will it be soon?”
    Me, joking: “It’s tomorrow.”
    Hope: “Tomorrow.”
    Me: “… &^%$%#& $*#*$^#% ^@* @^$^#@!”

    Meanwhile, Thomas announces the quickie marriage to his parents and Eric and Quinn. Brooke spends the entire scene, quietly seething and wondering about places she can stash Thomas’s body. She confronts him about it, while Eric and Quinn just stand awkwardly in the background, wondering what they’ve missed (you know, in the ten years since they left for that romantic weekend away).

    Hope, rambling about how desperate she is to be a mother to Douglas, to Liam and Steffy, is sounding more and more unhinged. At this point, I’m blaming the other characters for *not* intervening. Hope asks Steffy to be her maid-of-honour, and Steffy agrees because, it’s not like these people have an international business to run, or anything.

    The episode ends with Thomas having another x-rated fantasy about his and Hope’s wedding night. Even Thomas seems shocked by his own imagination, it makes the scene unintentionally hilarious. Oh, and Hope holds Beth and cries some more, because she’s good at that.

  68. Little Douglas will be best man. Vomit.The wedding’s advancing like a freight train.

    Ridge is incredulous that Brooke thinks there’s something wrong with Thomas. They’re fighting. Ridge is rasping himself into a bad mood. Brooke will win, with her post partum depression diagnosis of Hope.

  69. Steffy says she’s ready for bed but goofball Liam isn’t switched on. He’s thinking about the roach. We’re nine minutes in and the first ad break is probably better than the main act. Smelling hog already.

    Super CEO Steffy offers to iron Liam’s work shirt but heroically he says he can do it. They’re arguing about the wedding. Steffy
    ‘s all for moving on and in.

    The roach reckons the wedding will be tomorrow. Hope’s getting hair advice from reluctant Brooke, who’s in Hope’s ear, telling her not to marry the roach. Ad break. someone, please spit the secret soon.

  70. Ridge offers to get rid of Liam for the wedding but the roach isn’t too fussed because Hope is his tomorrow. Ridge pledges support to his insane, perverted, murdering son.

    Time for another Hope meltdown when Brooke tells her she has doubts. Hope swears allegiance to little Douglas, the best man. The purity of Hope’s love for Douglas conquers all. Hope whines that her life has been shit since Catalina. Brooke raise her voice and starts bad mouthing the roach. Keeping it real. Another ad break. Eight minutes to go

    The roach kisses his cold fish Hope and spits sweet nothings at her. She uses Douglas to thwart him. Steffy goes to bed alone, Liam drinks his beer and thinks.

    • I thought, for half a second, that sanity might prevail today, when Thomas outrightly confessed to Ridge that he loves Hope a lot more than she seems to love him. Ridge looked unsettled for half a second, but then the scene continued on so who cares? Eugh, these people.

      • See how Thomas’s ghost ruse has backfired. Every time he tries to sexually assault Hope now ie all the time, she uses little stirring, terrified Douglas as an excuse to escape his evil .embrace.

  71. Melancholy piano and violins for Hope alone getting ready to have a fantasy. Over at Steffy’s Liam’s walking around looking at the stars. Flashbacks to pregnancies. Placental abruptions. This is hell. It’s a groundhog. Wedding tomorrow. Curtain.

      • I kinda hope the nuptials are interrupted by a jungle animal stampede.

        No real reason, that’s just something I’d like to see.

        Never mind me. *shrug*

  72. Oh God, I only have about 5 minutes of battery left on my phone, and a panini that’s getting cold to tell you guys you are so hilarious.

    • Well, she’s definitely her mother’s daughter.

      I was thinking today, while the LA society pages are probably as impressed by a new Forrester wedding as the rest of us (“Hey chief, there’s a Forrester wedding tomorrow. In other breaking news, the sun will probably rise, too”) … I imagine the wedding industry in LA is on constant alert. I imagine there’s a big red alarm that sounds, whenever a Forrester or a Logan proposes, and the industry is immediately in top gear, baking cakes and inflating balloons and arranging flowers.

      The American wedding industry is worth billions of dollars, annually. You’d have to think at least half of that is the Forresters. At least half.

      • Busier than a Forrester lawyer with annulment papers.

        I’m missing Bill. I hope, no pun intended he got an invitation to the big day. Quite a few regulars can’t make it..Dr Hooks won’t be there.

        See you all tomorrow when Zander bursts out of the wedding cake. Another Forrester show stopper.

        Ridge and Steffy need putting in a an asylum for defending the roachgroom.

        • “See you all tomorrow when Zander bursts out of the wedding cake.”

          I’d be okay with that. I mean, he’s got to be good at something.

  73. Well that’s a wedding I’d like an invitation to. I’m often a tiny bit cynical about weddings. Everyone is so sure life will be great, so you smile and play along for the sake of the young bride and groom, and tell yourself, “Well maybe”.
    But in the case of Thomas and Hopeless, there will be no illusion of love ever after. Not that there ever is at a Forrester wedding, but for Thomas and Hope’s wedding, they could all wear black. The bride could arrive in a hearse.

    • “The bride could arrive in a hearse.”

      She’ll certainly be leaving in one, if the groom doesn’t get his way.

      I mean, they’re all mad. Thomas is pursuing someone who clearly doesn’t want him (what the hell kind of marriage is he expecting?), while Hope has agreed to marry an abusive predator (for the sake of his annoying, damaged child). The audience is supposed to feel some kind of sympathy for at least one of these people, but Hope’s just, well, hopeless.

      I’ll tell you what will happen right now. The ceremony will drag on for 19 minutes, and in the 20th minute, Liam will stand up at the, “Does anyone object?” moment, and that’s the cliffhanger until Monday. I’ll tell you that right now.

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