Formal living room week sees Tess and Luke question whether they are cut out for this competition. The judges are stunned by the rooms our couples have revealed.
Tomorrow night they start on the master bedrooms.
See the living room sketches here.
The Block living room reveal and weekly chat
Jesse clearly hasn’t learned that money doesn’t buy taste.
I don’t care how expensive those marble tiles were, they are ugly and didn’t look good in that room!
He doesn’t really understand does. Those tiles looked shite.
That’s what I thought, too, after he made his comment about how expensive the tile was. Doesn’t matter the cost it’s what looks good in the space and that tile did not look good. I think he and partner just like to fill spaces with whatever is expensive overlooking what might look good.
What Jesse hasn’t learned would fill a Bunnings warehouse.
There are idiots here who pay $150 for a glass of wine.
House 3 would have been gorgeous with more green. The white is way too much for the high ceilings and all the lights and the pale floor. Their floors are too light for this house, 2 shades darker would make a huge difference.
The winning room really did look like it was an actual ‘home’. They did deserve it just that bit more than 2nd place.
The newlyweds bickering is already too old.
We think the biggest drawback to MM’s room is they did not designate a hallway entrance to give a sense of privacy. If you are spending $3m+, you don’t want a visitor stepping straight off the street and into the formal living room. You want that sense of separation.
Urghh, once again the filler is all about Tess and her attempts to flirt with anything remotely male while simultaneously been emotionally abusive towards her husband. “Honestly, I could knock you out, square in the face punch you.” Luke’s Mum must be so pleased.
We assume that the highlight of Failed Comedian’s career is the punchline about the first in his family to finish a layby because they have only played it 6 times. Not that we are counting.
Mmm…if you got on the Block…what is the one piece of machine would you master prior to the commencement of filming…mmm…the paint sprayer perhaps???? It would save us the montage of late night painting….Yes, Tessa and Luke, you DON’T belong on the Block.
Onto the judging:
Mitch and Mark
“Honey,I am home,” declares Darren upon crossing the threshold. # Me Too chimes in Neale. Shaynna loves the sense of colour as she caresses the burnt orange curtains which haven’t seen the light of day since 1977. These guys are lush and over the top.
Darren loves the brass detailing of the floor as it defines the “I’m too sexy” catwalk hallway. The negatives for the room include the placement of the fireplace (that is a Jetmaster problem not a contestant one) been too low and the marble shelving.
From Day 1, it was deemed by the producers that MM would not win a room so they can spin the budget shortfall storyline. Don’t expect them to win.
“It’s another wow room. and it feels that it fits the heritage of the house,” declares Neale taking cues from the producers that this couple need to be babied.
The basics are there, agrees Shaynna but there is not a sense of scale and style pointing out that with monolith of the fireplace they could have lowered the chandelier and lose the dark shelving.
Darren point out the blank wall. Overall, the judges feel that it is a very elegant but blank canvas.
Mid Coast Bogans
Oooh….wow….colour….The judges are so thrilled to see something other than white (https://www.domain.com.au/news/how-to-pick-the-perfect-white-paint-20150514-gh1y2n/) The artwork choices are genius. The strength of the room lies with the understanding of scale.
They should have been brave and painted all the walls green so it would allow the room to feel more intimate (or immersive). Shaynna feels that the solo lamp is too harsh. Darren feels that the recessing of the curtains was a failure as it did not hide the mechanism of the window furnishing. The mantle/exposed brick/health were all mismatched for what ever style…(cos palms = colonial) they were aiming for.
The judges are almost speechless in entering ME’s space. They are the first couple to use cornices and to have elevated the fireplace. Neale declares the space to be “pretty spectacular” and they are giving MM a run for their money.
There are so many great details in the space and it feels like a real home with the layered styling. The also love the Venetian plastering.
The only quibble they have, is the hallway side of the space feels under styled. Perhaps should have put a couple of coats on the hooks.
JM
The doors feel and look expensive. It feels like a really high end luxury showroom declares Darren. It doesn’t feel homely.
Straightaway Shaynna hates upon the tile perimeter. Right on cue, Jesse splutters….its Calacutta tile….its Calacutta tile… doesn’t she know how expensive it is? It is a Calcutta tile…as all of Australia is left with little doubt that Jesse will rock himself to sleep with that mantra.
The producers egg the judges on as they know Jesse will bite back:
The mirror and the fireplace don’t work together.
If you are going to go Op Shopping it cheapens the value of the cabinetry.
It feels like a corporate waiting room.
It has the worse floral arrangement in the history of the Block.
Of all the rooms it is the least connected to St Kilda.
News.com did a recap and referred to it as colour cutter tile.
D.S.N
MM:9.5,9.5,9.5=28.5
TL:7,7.5,7.5=22
AD:8.5,8.5,8.5=25.5
EM:9.5,9.5,10=29
JM:8.5,7.5,7=23
Thanks, Maz. Your work was Calacutta.
I had an edgy idea for a Block renovation. Get $cotty wearing a corset. I didn’t Google it, neither.
So we already know who will win kitchen week?
Sad, isn’t it?
Someone done a “hommidge” tonight. Yeah? An homage, youse mean? The Block’s doin’ me block in.
Mattresses supplied by Forty Wanks.
It’s the morning after and a public holiday so let’s have a plug for Domain with Alice. The challenge is to guess what each agent has listed their property for. The twist? The winner has first pick of which agent will represent them at the auction (& $10k). That’s right folks…no free ranging on picking your own agent this year.
How on earth do people afford housing in Melbourne?????
Hocking Stuart -Middle Park- $3.7m
McGarth- Elwood- $4.7m
Biggin & Scott -Albert Park- $9m
The Agency -Elwood- $3m
Wilson St -Kilda West -$2.3m
Naturally, Jesse wins this competition, guessing three out of the five properties value, with Tessa & Luke coming second and Mid Coast Bogans coming third.
Jesse selects The Agency (which leaves Elise devastated as they were her pick).
Tess and Luke opt for Hocking Stuart.
Mid Coast Bogans pick McGarth.
MM chooses Wilson with Elise and Matt are left with Biggin and Scott.
Dougie the engineer makes his first appearance to approve the cathedral ceiling for MM’s rumpus room.
Oh…Kylie is on tomorrow…
Monday night was an utter waste of time and complete wank when it came to “competing” for your real estate rep. RE agents within a 5km radius would crawl over shattered calacatta marble (https://www.houzz.com.au/magazine/can-you-tell-the-difference-between-carrara-and-calacatta-marble-stsetivw-vs~89713321?irs=US) to obtain the listing.
M&M’s “plan for a pool” is a furphy, as plans submitted to Port Phillip Council last year showed pools for each house on the roof section on the extensions out the back
After just 2 weeks of watching it’s already clear Jesse is the biggest tool on The Block. He’s bobbing up again at another auction next month for a former Block penthouse: https://www.domain.com.au/news/the-block-2019-former-the-block-penthouse-up-for-sale-in-south-yarra-with-hopes-of-2-3m-to-2-45m-870360/?utm_campaign=strap-masthead&utm_source=brisbane-times&utm_medium=link&utm_content=pos5&ref=pos1
Kylie will be on The Block. Can’t wait. 😉 Actually…don’t care.
I’ll care…….if she’s wearing those gold hot pants.
A friend just described Jesse as being like a young Alan Jones. How appropriate.
Mmm…we think Jesse may be the best of a very bad bunch…which isn’t saying much. At least he doesn’t sob about dead relatives and absent children.
In House Four the letter is F,
They are cleaning their floors.
House Three gets a P,
They have plastered their walls,
The letter R for house one.
Their rafters are done.
House five looks like rubble,
so T is for trouble.
The Block has decided to do a creepy Play School Cross-over in a high pitch voice. Tuesday is the pollyfilla episode (nah, not really LitenEasy paid for tonight’s most awkwardly placed product placement…Hey, if you are reading this LnE, your new Jesse ad made me drywretch.)
1. The producers leaned on Kylie’s uncle (part of the Block’s camera crew) to organise a meet and greet. It keeps MM happy and off the Block so they can let other contestants suss out their space and twig they are doing a rumpus room.
2. Praise thee to heaven Matt. We wonder how much he is getting paid in addition to his hourly rate to make Armpit Bitch + One look good (as no-body wants a repeat of Cry-Baby and Whitney).
3. It isn’t easy being green.
4. Keith suddenly finds the down lights in Four are a potential hazards so the sub floor of the main bedroom needs to be ripped up to rectify the problem. Elise is called into a Suncorp Budget Meeting with Scotty and a chick who is not Accountant Sarah. She has spent $98k of the $250k budget. This allows Suncorp chick to flog their Options Accounts. Mel is invited along and is given $5k for being a Savvy Saver. Elise feels humiliated and spends the rest of the episode crying (and claiming she is doing it for the kids which makes her more unlikable).
5. Don’t try and out-real estate Jesse. The Alice and Nicola duo fails to ignite the screen once again. So for the stats- Two thirds of all houses in St Kilda are owner occupied. The average income of these households is over $200k. They are aged between 30-39 with young children. Downturn is the market= may not meet reserve auction time.
Ugh, what a dick move, Scotty…. -.- It is not like I am a big fan of El””’ise, but that was evil. Having a go at her budget, then putting that Mel is so great infront of her. Sure, you don’t need to pamper the contestants, but it was unnecessary. Especially because the team with the good budgeting has the extra stuff from the safe.
The plans are available for next season.Looks like a repeat of Elsternwick but the five houses are from separate decades spanning 20,30,40,50, 60. My prediction is whoever scores the 1940s house will win. The plans have room for a pool, multiple skylights and the council seems very concern about the streetscape.
Seems to be a basement as well.
Go to https://ecouncil.bayside.vic.gov.au/eservice/daEnquiryInit.do?nodeNum=480390 and search for application number 354/2019
Today’s episode is brought to you by the letters I, D, C….or should that be (and Keith was literally rattling them off) Bradford Batts, Dellos Mirror, PGH Bricks, JKC Air conditioning, A2 Milk and Salvos.
Some random thoughts (as it is really late or really early depending how you view such matters…)
1. Scotty looked bored out of his brain and disengaged as his did the weekly psych out with Shelly. (For all those who complain about Shelly- this is why she is there. Scotty doesn’t operate with a script).
2. Tess really thinks she is hot. Have you noticed that she punctuates her comments to the camera with a wink if the producer is male?
3. Elise continues to annoy me. Speaking with your mouth full is so off-putting. We don’t need to know that you had your Sex in the City moment in a Salvos store. Waste of 20 minutes right there.
4. Other teams have now twigged to MM’s plans which fundamentally destroy the value of apartment 2. Should have invested in sound proofing insulation.
5. Keith and Dan try and invoke a reaction from Mark buy telling him, if the fireplace is not functional by reveal they cannot make it so later on. Mitch points out the inconsistency with unfinished bathrooms and whether or not they should be deemed ornamental as well.
Tough titties house 2! I wouldn’t buy it knowing MM’s floor plan, but this a game. For Jesse’s sake I hope MM win at auction to prove him wrong.
Is the pic meant to be Sex and the City? That one is Becky Bloomwood (Isla Fisher) from Confessions of a Shopaholic. Possibly also relevant, of course.
No-that is meant to be Becky…Elise is a shopaholic and the imagery of her leaving Salvos reminded me of Isla Fisher’s character.
We doubt Elise would have cared so much about the Louboutins found in Salvos if it were not for ‘Carrie’. Either way its all about excessive consumption.
Hahaha! I thought you were sneaking in a plug for ING bank.
I used to love this show. And now everything about it is just off.
Except Shelley.
Good on her.: arrives once a week, says it’s crap (but gently, because it’s true and we all know it), collects her pay cheque and goes home.
Who would purchase an apt. where the master bedroom is right next to an entertainment area? I sure wouldn’t. Wonder if they will have a Block collective and M&M will be forced to rip out a wall and add more sound proofing insulation or maybe house #2 can rip out the adjoining wall and charge the expense of adding sound proofing and replacing the wall to M&M.
M&M and the fireplace…the contestants should know by now that they have to run almost everything by Keith and his sidekick. Didn’t past teams have to go to Keith regarding fireplaces? Don’t go to Keith then he is not happy and gets ultra mean.
Honestly, I do not see the issue here. They will also have big outdoor areas. This will cause noise as well. And honestly, the entertainment area doesn’t look like a party pad to me. Plus, wouldn’t you, as a decent neighbour, inform the people next door anyway when you will have a party (usually on a Friday or Saturday) anyway?
I think this is going a bit overboard with the drama for house 2.
Many people are not courteous enough to tell neighbors they are having a party and that there might be a lot of noise. Maybe the people who purchase that apt. can invite the neighbors over. Really depends on who purchases the apts.
My place shares a wall and it is very irritating when the neighbors bang cabinets or turn the volume up on the TV or CD player or whatever they are using to play music and it is late night/early AM hours.
These places will all end up on AirBnb surely? So party central!
I’ve lived in apartments where the walls were so thin that I had an opinion on their arguments.
Mark and Mitchell win Master Bedroom without doing a Master Bedroom.
Scores
MM (1) 9,9,9=27 (winners)
TL (2) 8.5,8,8=24.5
MCB (3) 8.5,8,8=24.5
EM (4) 9,8.5,8=26
JM (5) 7.5,7.5,7=22
Mark and Mitchell
To say that the judges are stunned is a total understatement. Darren feels that “wow” is quite inappropriate. He reminds that audience that you change the architect plans at your peril (even though the architect signed off on the change).
Neale and Shaynna are a little more enthused and see it as an exciting twist. Can a three bedroom terrace compete with a four bedroom terrace? Can Tess and Luke even win the Block with an entertainment area adjacent to an entertainment space. Can Deb and Andy for that matter? Neale is unsure whether this is a masterstroke or being strategic. Brave or selfish?With ominous music Neale offers up the words strategy, tactics and machinations.
As to the room itself, it is elegant and classy. It has wine storage. A working fireplace. It as a palm springs vibe which Neale emphasizes is what MM think is the height of sophistication. With the blue rug (which Shaynna hates) it is the make believe pool room.
The producers can not believe how much unscripted drama this is going to create so MM win just to ensure the bad blood will flow.
Tess and Luke.
The judges love the artwork. Really love the artwork. Love the artwork a little too much if you get my drift. Exhausting the positives about the room, the judges mindful that they are dealing snowflakes, gently point out that the mirror feels squished in and the room feels cluttered. The need to pare back.
They do have however, the perfect WIR. It is the best wardrobe presented today.
The judges feel they are on the right track but just need to pare back.
Mid Coast Bogans
Upon entering the room and seeing the colour, Neale declares that it is a lovely, calm room. It is pretty as well. The judges are happy to see interest, life and texture. It feels contemporary and livable (well, not so much for the poor olive tree shoved in the wicker basket, starved of sunlight and nutrients).
But…it seems to be designed for a cashed up Nanna with the Pampas Grass (heheh from the Independent “the ultimate symbol of 1970s horticultural tackiness. (Rumours even circulated that planted in a front garden, it meant the residents were swingers. You don’t even want to think about it, really.) “*
As to the WIR, it looks good aesthetically but lacks functionality. There was some reference to India Hicks 🤔🤔🤔
*https://www.independent.co.uk/property/gardening/rockin-all-over-the-world-south-american-pampas-that-1970s-hit-is-charting-again-6260031.html
I never knew that about Pampas Grass. Like many in Adelaide, I’ll use the garden to dispose of bodies. Then grow some kind of fast growing natives on it.
Here Pampas Grass is a more a tough, drought resistant family plant .Watch the local birds strip it bare for nesting material with the “wow” factor.
Thanks for your work, Maz. I’m juggling cricket etc.
Loved the wallpaper whatever pictures in the wardrobe. What a waste. This should have been used in the bedroom. I liked the green and white but it was just too bland.
Matt & Elise
Wow that is quite a ceiling states Darren looking up at the plaster ceiling. So moved by the ceiling, Darren feels like Tom Cruise and wants to jump on the couch (well, that is one way to end your career).
Darren also likes the subtle (read abstract) flower wallpaper(proudly brought to you by Grafico)
The judges feel that ME have a really elegant pallete. They understand how to create a modern terrace with a feeling of home.
On to the WIR, the compromise of space in the bedroom for a larger wardrobe did not pay off. All they achieve was creating a larger walkway without any additional functionality.
I loved this room too. The ceiling, the grafico and the colour palette.
Jesse & Mel,
The first impression of walking in off the verandah is “How gorgeous?” There is a lot to love in the space, the rose, the cornice, the lighting, and the pelmet…but…they are taking a real estate cookie cutter approach. It feels like they are ticking boxes by repeating their first bedroom. It is kind of cowardly and exhibits complacency.
Shaynna feels uncomfortable by the placement of the large mirror in front of the bed but finds its TV mode “sexy”.
The judges are underwhelmed by the WIR (and shoddy floor work). Neale feels they need to familarise themselves with the word ume (move over hygge) and apply a bit more effort.
Thank you, Maz!!!
Is the Melbourne International Comedy Festival open to idiots? Andy does what he think is a comedic rift on what a powder room is. Absolute moron.
Let’s just say that Bluescope sponsored this episode…so once the BSL gets their money worth let’s move to the other sponsors:
1. Elise and Matt pull the HiPages so they can ensure that can have an ensuite in each bedroom. (Sorry, they are doing it for their children).
2. Tess is looking for a new boyfriend but has to settle for five pieces of cake at Reece.
3.Jesse is a producer’s dream and kicks off that his house is always last to be complete for the structural work.
4.Andy is cut that Matt keeps taking his timber. Matt channels his inner X-file by denying everything.
5. Tess bitches that Luke’s is always on her back about her spending. (They are so going to divorce).
Oh FFS. Andy’s rift on the powder room was not funny the first time. It certainly does not improve with a second viewing.
Aydeen’undred. Comin’ up apples. Jeez, I’m lurnin’ heaps.
Lucky the ads are great tonight.
Here is a question for the ages: Has the Block reduced their film crew this year.
Repeated footage. Far too much car cam and video diary.
Its Tuesday night (or Wednesday in Blockland) and its time for a challenge.
Steve Hooker fronting Tick Homes…blah…blah….blah…thrift spend…furnish a room in a First Buyer Home for under $3000. Cue visit to Kmart and Vinnies.
Jesse & Mel (Kids’ room): Spend $1016.48. Get slammed for scale of chair and desk.
Tess & Luke (Teen room): Spend $1920.28 Feels rushed and items omitted.
Elise and Matt: (Study):Spend $1950.85. Has a wow with the colour but it is not functional or practical.
Mitch and Mark (Guest Bedroom): Spend $2009.61. Looks like a AirBnB….sorry rustic…
Andy & Deb (Nursery): Spend $2265.08. It feels nice.
Ironic, that the team who win the thrift challenge spent the most. The prize is $5k from Suncorp and a bonus point gnome.
Anyone else think that E & M have had marriage counselling and E likes to parrot the counsellor back at M. The low blow is when she points to a photo of the children and tells M to think of their three children. That is one relationship that will not end well.
Everyone thinks they are winning with the *unique* idea of doing an outdoor terrace. Clearly, if was flagged as a possibility with rapidity Bluescope TrueCore Steel can produced the modified trusses. (Drinking game using TrueCore steel will leave you with cirrhosis of the liver)
It was Luke’s 30th birthday with an instagrammable cake and all his trades paid.
Jesse is miffed that no-one celebrated him as they should for his birthday which was the prior Sunday.
New variation on the Beaumont tile shortage storyline…tiles will fly…(guess neither Virgin or Qantas wanted naming rights in that twist).
Since you mentioned cirrhosis of the liver, $cotty is looking more like W.C. Fields every day. Now Dan looks like Pat Cash. I’m watching, but with music to soften the blizzard of mediocrity The Block produces. I can hear $cotty’s voice booming through the phone all the way from Sydney.Thanks again, Maz.