Bachelor Locky

Bubbly dancer Nicole is gone and we are back in the mansion for one of those awkward episodes that starts with a rose ceremony, just to make us think we got our time’s wrong and came in halfway through.

Will lovely Steph and the other one (Maddie?) ever get a single date?

Probably not – they have become the spares. Tonight Bella whinges about her Irina’s perceived wrongdoing and it blow up in her face.

I don’t know them from a bar of soap but since reality TV is all about judging people, I’m Team Irina.



  1. I laughed so much when Juliette said: I am going to ask Locky, do you want me to be dull and dead in the eyes, like Bella?
    And off she goes to DM some TikTok stars.

  2. Okay. Forgive me, friends and colleagues, but this episode was damn near amazing.

    So Locky puts on a blind-fold, strips down to his boxers, and the girls take turns, coming into the room by themselves and molesting him. It was just ridiculous. He was so objectified. There was no point to that beyond, “let’s just ogle the incredibly-attractive almost-naked fella”. I mean, we all watched “Survivor”, so we’ve seen Locky wearing less than that. Part of me was revolted (this was on at, like, seven thirty!) but I have to say, I appreciated the sheer erotic-ness of it. Particularly Steph, at the end, who walked up to him and just started kissing him.

    Locky, meanwhile, was just giggling through the whole thing. C’mon guys. He’s not here for a relationship, he’s here to make out with the vapid pretty girls.

    Bella is making a surge in the late-villain stakes. My gosh, the girl has just lost her mind, in terms of hating Irena’s guts for no apparent reason. Is there just something in the water at the Bachelor-pad? Remember when we all liked Bella?

    Meanwhile, at the cocktail party, Juliette continues to be insane. But the episode’s best moment was clearly the part where Juliette is monologuing to Locky how she’s ignoring people who direct TikTok videos because she wants to talk to him, and if he doesn’t appreciate the sacrifice she’s making (they’re directing TikTok videos Locky!), then why is she here? … and the editors show their hands, by *immediately* cutting to Juliette in the back of a departing limo, while Locky tells the camera that Juliette just wasn’t right for him. Good work, editing team. I haven’t laughed like that in months.

    • It was so funny! But too short. I really hope Juliette goes on the So Dramatic podcast because she would be so entertaining. Meanwhile Maddie is still in the house and getting zero airtime

    • Bunny Bella and Bunny Boiler. Not much difference now.

      I’m not going to miss Juliette and her grab bag of dramatics. The contorting puppet act never did much for me …or Locky.

      I’m wanting to see Steph hang around but Locky’s oblivious to her beauty and it seems, life itself.

  3. Normally I give the producers/editors credit for the villain-of-the-season but this time it is just Bella, all by herself. She really is an awful human being.
    You can only hope that she is cringing watching this back at home. Yet, somehow, I suspect not.

  4. Kaitlyn (the intruder from ep 2) went home after pretending to eat a Magnum to please the sponsors. Bec got the short straw with this purple dress

    Just pretend this is the right way up

  5. I believe all the spoilers and rumours on Mama Mia.

    Locky sending Steph home makes me wonder if Locky is gay and not searching for love ….just a pay cheque.

    • I’ve never got that vibe from Locky.

      And being honest, if I had, I would’ve thrown on a blonde wig, a sequinned dress and a pair of stilettos and snuck into the mansion myself.

      Although I completely agree that he’s clearly not there to find a stable, long-term relationship.

  6. I’ll put it out there. I’m shallow and judgemental.
    There is something about Locky I just don’t like.
    I don’t find him attractive. I hate that tattoo on his neck. I hate neck tattoos anyway and it’s pretentious.
    And his trousers are too tight and too short.
    And how many times do we have to watch him eating breakfast? Is that the most interesting thing about this man?
    And his lines to the girls are over rehearsed. “I got lost in your eyes”. Fftt. What cliche book did he get that out of.
    This is a guy who thinks he’s going to have a media career after this. Someone needs to tell him that television requires more than the talent to smirk on queue. He’s going to disappear into oblivion along with 90% of previous contestants.

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