MKR – Wed barbecue challenge

It’s the barbecue challenge and we know scandal is brewing for the Chopses. What do we think their shortcut ingredient is? More bottled garlic? Spice mix? Did they forget to slaughter their own cow?

And we’re at the Luddenham Rodeo for a barbecue challenge. It’s in Sydney and on a different netweork, so sadly no sign of Farmer Lance lassooing fillies.
They have to cook for the public with a marinade theme, Zana is scared of dirt (so they’ve dressed her in white), Lauren thinks Zana should get over it, yadda yadda yadda …
Pete’s big reveal: Only four of the eight teams will be safe.
And now Man Bun is out of the comp, the most interesting hairdo award goes to Mitch, aka Curly Bro.

Let's hope he's not a tax evader, also.

Let’s hope he’s not a tax evader, also.


Zana and Plus One are doing Eye Fillet Kebabs with rosemary potatoes and spicy ajvar (Plus One pronounces it ay-var). It’s a capsicum relish.
Lauren and Carmine are making Jamaican jerk chicken with rice and pineapple relish and she’s holding back on the chilli. How can you do jerk chicken without heat?
Anna and Jordan are doing homemade Sicilian sausage with focaccia and tomato relish. So a snag sanger with soz. Again they are showing their technical ability, making their own snags.
Laura and Mitch are going out on a limb with bush spice kangaroo with tortillas. Curly Sis is using a tonne of native spices – looks like someone’s been reading a lot of Jock Zonfrillo recipes. Kangaroo can be tricky to cook.
Straight off their sudden death win, Rosie and Paige plan to crank out pomegranate-glazed lamb cutlets with harissa pumpkin. Lamb is always popular with a crowd but they usually don’t do well in these off-site challenges, just like Zana.
The Dads are cooking BBQ scotch fillet with smoky potato salad. Yum – sounds delish but I hope their potatoes cook through on the barbie.
Dad and Tarq are doing Argentinian spatchcock, loaded sweet potato and chimichurri (which is a fabulous sauce of fresh herbs). Wonder how the rodeo crowd will react to spatchcock?
The Chopses are another team using chicken but they are using the whole bird. It’s bourbon chicken, slaw and jalapeno poppers. And Mr Chops whips out the bottle of lemon squeeze for the marinade, so that’s what all the fuss will be about. Seriously, guys – buy a bag of lemons, chop ’em in half and squeeze ’em. You’ve already been busted once. Fass comes over to berate them and Chopses’ defence is he needed a litre of juice for his 21 chooks. Yeah, if you were at your house, Chops, but not on tellie.
Squeezy scandal.

Squeezy scandal.


Eve is saying anything to get rid of Fass and afterwards whispers to Jason: “Why didn’t you hide it.”
Jordan is making sausages to the tune of Kid Rock’s Cowboy when Fass comes over to stir up trouble, questioning whether Anna’s focaccia will rise in time and whether they are meeting the brief of a marinade. At the next table over, Paige can’t believe Jordan is taking on Fass, but it looks the cheeky chap has got away with it. A media career beckons.
Watching Zana trying to fry potatoes on the barbie is hilarious. There’s much oww-ing and oh-ing.
Barbecueing in a tank top is not a good move.

Barbecueing in a tank top is not a good move.


“I need to go and have the longest bath ever known to human beings. Put some bleach on me and detergent,” she jokes. Surely Montenegran people barbecue? They’re big meat lovers.
We cut to Lauren doing the world’s worst Southern accent in a bit to build up this supposed Zana V Lauren feud, which I’m sure Zana knows nothing about.
Both the Dads and Tarq are doing chimichurri sauce – I was going to pick Tarq as the winner until he added honey to his.
Carmine and Chops are both having trouble with uncooked chicken, while Rosie and Paige are confident in their flavours and aren’t freaking out for once. It looks like the Chopses are in the most trouble when service starts.

Time for the judges to chew …


Pete looks excited to be tucking into this one. Both judges think it’s a winner.


The judges think it’s a bit bland and not all the spuds are cooked. Fass: “You don’t give an Irishman raw potatoes.”


They like the look of this chimi but say it’s oddly sweet (yes – called it!). “It’s not a great dish,” says Pete.


“The whole dish is screaming mediocre,” says Pete. There’s no spice and the rice isn’t properly cooked.


The judges appreciate all the work that went into this.


Pete likes the spicy relish and tender beef. “It’s not the worst,” says Fass.


Chopses finally get some food out but say the chicken has no marinade flavour. The slaw is limp; the poppers are the best bit.


All we hear from the judges is Fass’s “good, hey?”, so they’ve probably won.
To the strains of Black Keys’ Lonely Boy we get the last rush of food pushing, and Chopses still have dishes sitting on their table.

The judges’ verdict
Pete gives Anna and Jordan mad props again for their teamwork, a combination of her experience and his youthful twists. Curly Sis is chuffed to hear Fass say: “It takes balls to do that.” And that is why we love him on MKR. His pairing with Pete seems a more comfy one than the Pete-Manu screen presence. The Dads won the chimi-off. The lamb was Fass’s dish of the day and Pete says it was exceptional. Good to see the girls happy again.

I’m thinking the breakdown will be:
Top
Curlies
Anna and Jordan
Paige and Rosie
Zana and Gianni

Bottom
Chopses
Dads
Tarq and Dad
Lauren and Carmine

MORE TO COME



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63 Comments

  1. And on tonight’s installment of “Things Zana Hates!”, we’ll be able to add cowboys, barbecues, rodeos, cows, horses, fences, oxygen, heat, dust, the sun, wind, and the other contestants to the list.

    I just want Jordan dressed as a cowboy. I’m talking boots, flannel, cowboy hat, the whole shebang. Is that too much to ask?

    • What really lost points for me was Eve’s “you should have hidden it”, if she can’t apply constructive criticism they’re not long for this comp.

      • And it shows just how bad they are if they think bottled lemon juice is going to get past The Fass.

        It’s just not a good product to cook with. I cheat now and then. There may even be a couple of cans of sweetened condensed milk in my pantry. But bottled lemon juice is just awful and you save bugger all time anyway.

  2. Why do I get the feeling it’ll be more raw food than Rawhide?

    Bring it on, producers.We’ll head you off at the pass.

    • After winning MKR they were spruiking some weight loss powder. Obviously it didn’t work. Even money didn’t get him to lose weight.

  3. How fat is Mr.Sausage? Embarrassing Bodies standard.

    Hall Of Shame , you mean, Ch 7. Exactly my thoughts , Liberty. Posted same time.

    • I gotta be honest, I couldn’t care less about any of the teams cooking on Sunday, I just want to see all the returning teams interacting. Gosh, I’ve missed Ash and her crazy hair, and it’ll be nice to see the British boys again. It looks like the Real Housewives are back, and I remember the feud between them and Sophia from last time. Gosh, let’s do that again! Spoiler alert! Sophia’s still just a jerk.

      Poor Dan has … put on a few pounds, hasn’t he?

      I don’t see any of the bottom four, here, making it to the finals. I want the grand final to be Rosie/Paige versus Anna/Jordan (all crushes aside, Anna and Jordan keep doing amazing things with food, and it all looks delicious. Even Pete was crushing on Jordan, there). But I think the Curlies will likely make it to the end by defeating one of those teams.

  4. From Sunday’s promo~

    “It was like a rat died in a shoe”

    “It was like eating a slug”

    These Hall Of Shamers will bring a lot of sophistication to Sunday night, it seems. One big culinary shit fight while the bottom feeders fight it out.

    Chopses Bourbon Chicken was a massive fail. Couldn’t taste the marinade after all the song and dance..he looked browned off at judging.

    • I don’t know who looked more browned off, him or his missus, it’s a pity the chicken wasn’t, instead of pasty white. She was one peed off lady, couldn’t believe it when she whispered he should have hid the lemon juice bottle.
      Says a lot about the woman. Send them home.

  5. I am not sure how some of these cooks taste their food. They tasted their own food and they said it was delicious. Then the judges said the opposite. Either their tastebuds are off or they just have no ideas about food.

    • Yep, it’s got to be a worry when you are still convinced your food is good when it isn’t. Big difference to the teams who are honest when an element goes wrong and they know it. Carmine and Lauren’s delusions are breath-taking.

    • It’s as if Carnine and Lauren have been hypnotised on that lame Ch 9 show to believe everything they cook is perfect. Their scowls to the judges say it all.

      It’s shaping up as a bitter class war between concreter and lawyer.

  6. All Lauren’s cowboy talk was so over the top cringe worthy. I agree with everyone about Mrs chops comment about hiding the bottle. I don’t care if it is chops or Lauren and Carmen who go on Sunday.

  7. It’s the Lauren and Zana show. Too much time spent on both of them.
    Lauren thinking she is the best cook there and Zana complaining about everything that is not part of her usual environment. Did anyone see Zana’s sweat dripping off of her nose into the food or maybe it was snot coming out of her nose 🙁
    Zana’s comment about not wanting to be at a rodeo but Rodeo road LA would be fine. How would she deal with the smog and the traffic?

  8. I didn’t see much of last night’s show. Mrs. Chops actually told Chops he should have hidden the lemon squeeze? I wonder if she realises how desperate and pathetic that makes her look, as well as underhanded. If that were me, I’d be grovelling and begging for that remark to be cut out.

    Zana had some unidentified bodily fluid dripping off her nose into the food? Fingers, hair, drips – this show is about to put me off food altogether. You get hot when you are cooking a barbecue, but people with a little bit of sense keep a little towel or rag to wipe their faces with. If I were that dirty in my own kitchen, I wouldn’t even eat at home.

  9. Yesterday I commented I didn’t think Jorndan did much cooking. I take it back after last night, he did those marinated sausages all by himself and by all means they were exceptional. They were the crowd favourite weren’t they?
    So I am sorry Jordan I had a go at you.

  10. Personally I would love to have tried the homemade Sicilian sausage and focaccia, the roo and the kebabs. Glad they all made it to the next round.

    My finding the last couple of challenges, etc. more enjoyable viewing than usual was something I attributed to becoming accustomed to the teams. Then the real reason appeared on my screen and it all came flooding back. I almost hoped the ghetto wannabe and her puppet won people’s choice for a second time to rid them from our screens for a while. No such luck. Hopefully it’s not producer’s/ mafia’s choice for the cook off…but who am I kidding..

    I see the cheshire cat and lurch won’t be joining the returned for supper after their latest restaurant review f*%k up.

    Regarding judges I am loving Colin and how real he is. Paleo Pete has trashed his welcome mat. I’d prefer to see Colin with the French buffoon at offsite challenges, enjoying elbow dripping soz together.

    There also needs to be sudden death for the guest judges. It’d be a four person elimination for me starting with teeth sucking, lip licking Liz who’s lips appear to be permanently stained with food grease (not pleasant viewing) and ending with spray tan addict, single word descriptor Paleo Pete. Yuck. They could all be given a one way ticket to Masterfarce.

    • This show was filmed last year. I think Chloe and Kelly were invited back. They must do new edit to try not to show them on the show.

      • Thanks LP. I didn’t know they filmed that far in advance.

        And good spot Dave. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what horrors await Sunday night.

        So with 8 tims left how many more weeks/months does everyone think we have left?

        • Usually the show is for 12 – 13 weeks and around 48 episodes. My guess the finale will be end of this month or early May, depending on which day they want the finale to be on.

    • Actually I joked before about sudden death for the judges but that’s something I’d love to see- the judges (esp. guest judges) ‘cooking for their lives’ or a spot on the panel. And rig it so none can stay.

      ‘I’m sorry the standard was just below par. You are all going home.’

  11. I bought a totally sick MKR hessian shopping bag from Coles. $3 or tree dollars to the Fass.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
    • If Lauren and Zana leap out of your bag and trash your house one night while you’re asleep, don’t say we didn’t warn ya.

    • That’s amaze balls Dave. Just make sure only the freshest Cole’s produce ever sees the inside of your ‘rockstare’ bag. And that you always respect this beeeewdiful amazing food.

      • I walked past tem cauliflowers in Coles and thought to meself

        ” Begorrah , look at ‘tem rockstares”

        Iggy fits in the bag, I don’t know if he counts as “fresh produce”. I may upload a photo.

        The bag is actually made from Jute and was made in India. Keeping it real , Coles.

  12. On the Mama Mia site they were having a go at Colin being too hard on Mr and Mrs Chops for using the bottled lemon juice. They were saying he is full of himself and he should have given them a break etc. etc.
    They showed some shots from Facebook with people having a go at him and said Facebook was fed up with Colin and his attitude.
    It wasn’t mentioned about Mrs. wanting to hide the bottle.
    I for one like Colin and think he brings a good balance to the three guys.

    Sorry I’m not sure how to send the link.

    • Chops had it coming , not the first time it’s happened .Lady MacChops is morally bankrupt for chiding Chops for not hiding the offending lemon juice. Makes me wary of what else the cheating Chopses might try to get away with if they think there’s no judges ~ or a million or so people viewing. Painting the house purple should have been an early warning sign that the Chopses are challenged. Now the under cooked chickens are coming home to roost.

      The Irish have survived a lot more than a few dickheads on Facebook getting off the chain. I’m a Colin fan. I tried to find the Mamma Mia story but got discouraged by ” Even with the burns, I still want my Thermomix”. To post a link here, highlight the address bar on the MM page go “copy” put the cursor in the comment box here and go “paste”.

    • I read that too. Also on MKR facebook, many people were not happy with Colin.

      What is so difficult with squeezing lemon juice. Also the bottle lemon juice just taste different but the posters just done get it.

      They said why they never complained about teams using Campbell stock or can tomatoes.

      If the challenge is time limited, you just can’t make your own stock. Squeezing lemon juice is not that time consuming.

      • Considering Chops is prepared to spend ages peeling prawns and preparing marinades that no one can taste but he’d sooner have his chops chopped off than slice a lemon in half and squeeze the juice. Hipsters drink from jars , so Chops just takes to cooking from jars like a duck to water.( That’d be store bought Spring Water from Coles)

        Manu used to be more cranky and forthright when he was first on television here but now his comments are more bland than a sudden death polenta. You can see he’s busting to get back to his le France junket and ‘af some squid making loff on his tongue.

        So Colin is dishing out the tough love. I love frugal Fass and his low ball scoring.

        “Oy can only give this dish a tree”

    • What was with that bit about him being mean to Anna and Jordan? He was being dry and sarcastic! Jordan gave as good as he got and they laughed about it. Fass is straight up and never succumbs to the lure of a fake out comment, pretending something was horrible just for TV drama. And when he does like something, you know it must be bloody good.

  13. It worked, thanks BDD. I’m sure I have tried this before and had no success so gave up. Happy now that I know it does.

    Go the Fass, tell it like it is. That’s one thing you can be sure of with an Irishman, they will certainly tell it like it is. I should no I have been married to one for the best part of thirty six years, you get no bullshit that’s for sure. You either take them for it or you don’t.

  14. Love The Fass.
    Fake lemon is cheating. But is it really cheating cos it tastes absolutely shite, so would expect it to be scored appropriately, something like a tree. Like using garlic & ginger from a jar. Ok if you’re out of fresh with no time at home but not in a cooking comp.

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