1. Seafood Jerk is awfully pale for one who lives in Broome and is a deckhand. Perhaps he sleeps all day in a coffin. He’ll sink quicker htan a pearl diver with the bends

  2. I did believe his claims of a modeling career. He’s got a sharp, angular face, and I can see that people would find him photogenic and attractive in an unconventional way.

    He’s still a wanker, though. You can’t guess what the channel 7 editors are thinking, but by gosh, I hope the scoring tonight is *savage*.

    • I think they were ashamed after the hipster scores were revealed and realised they were well out of line. But tonight they could have honourably given them a three.

      • I expected the teams last night to be a lot more savage. 4s and 3s? I think Josh and Amy should consider themselves lucky.

        I would’ve gone, “3 for the food, minus one for the wait, and minus for his arrogance.”

  3. I think it was the point where Pete and Manu delivered a scathing review of their entree … and King Jerk responded by saying, “I’m not worried by what they’re saying” … that I gave up on him. I imagine that was the point when the other guests gave up on him as well.

    And thusly we have yet another absurdly over-confident team who don’t seem to have watched the show before at all. Him constantly saying he could cook meals blind-folded? Maybe he was actually trying to do that, ergo, the gigantic dumpster fire that was his menu?

  4. I just kinda feel sorry for the guests, tonight. They spend the week listening to what amazing seafood they’re going to get. But it’s two and a half hours until they get a nice entree (with a terrible sauce), and it looks like it’s another two hours before they get something resembling a main course. So that’ll be dessert for breakfast the day after, then?

    • Ditto- they must have been starving.
      My favourite bit of incompetence was putting the chips in the oven to “crisp up”. Has anyone ever crisped fries in an oven? My 13 year old knows that.

      • I have crisped fries in the oven BUT I don’t fry them off in a ton of oil first. Just throw the potatoes in the oven with some olive oil on them and some seasoning.

  5. Cannot cook. Cannot face reality.
    Was josh a deckhand on the Titanic? “Those abandon ship calls don’t apply to me”.

    • And you know the worst part? That we’re gonna have to sit through two more episodes of him trying to sabotage everybody else’s menu, just because he’s trying to cover for his own *dismal* failure.

      I even felt sorry for Ms Fashion (who will forever be known as the woman who ate a meal on MKR that was so horrible, she needed a bucket). Being a snob is one thing, but actually making your guests physically, violently ill? Yeesh.

      • I’m afraid Im absolutely unconvinced by Alyse and the vomiting.

        Two mouthfuls of badly cooked (but otherwise perfectly healthy) fish does not make you vomit instantaneously. For that matter 2 mouthfuls of completely raw fish does not make you vomit instantaneously. It may make you feel queasy. It may even make you go into anaphylactic shock if you have a serious allergy, but that involves flashing blue lights and sirens, not an instantaneous dash to the toilet and coming back 2 minutes later.
        I am quite intolerant (not allergic) to most soy products and if I have enough I usually throw up.The process takes around an hour.

        I am allergic to bearded dragons, and that is instantaneous and usually involves an ambulance trip if I touch one.

        People take dives all the time in soccer and we just saw Ms Tool take a dive in MKR.

        Josh is clearly brash and Josh and Amy clearly blew cooking for a large group. That did not justify the bloodlust evinced by Mr and Mrs Tool and by Della and Tully.

        • “I am allergic to bearded dragons, and that is instantaneous and usually involves an ambulance trip if I touch one.”

          I feel like I want to come back to this part, though?

          • https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pogona

            Pogona is a genus of reptiles containing eight lizard species, which are often known by the common name bearded dragons. The name “bearded dragon” refers to the “beard” of the lizard, the underside of the throat which turns black if they are stressed or see a potential rival.

            I suspect Tyson may be a bearded dragon who infiltrated the show for his own nefarious purposes.

          • Oh I know what a bearded dragon is (we get them in our backyard, I think they’re quite cute), I’ve just never heard of anyone being allergic to them before.

            Unless you were being sarcastic and it totally went over my head.

          • I know, I’d have watery eyes, probs bit of vom in hair, ruined makeup and certainly NOT be ready to sign up for pudding afterwards.

        • And while we are in the bowels (sorry) of Wikipedia…


          Food intolerance is more chronic, less acute, less obvious in its presentation, and often more difficult to diagnose than a food allergy.[8] Symptoms of food intolerance vary greatly, and can be mistaken for the symptoms of a food allergy. While true allergies are associated with fast-acting immunoglobulin IgE responses, it can be difficult to determine the offending food causing a food intolerance because the response generally takes place over a prolonged period of time. Thus, the causative agent and the response are separated in time, and may not be obviously related. Food intolerance symptoms usually begin about half an hour after eating or drinking the food in question, but sometimes symptoms may be delayed by up to 48 hours.[9]

          So Ms Tool has the fastest acting food intolerance on this planet or she took a dive.

  6. Windsong made a comment yesterday about not being a vindictive person…but. Me, too. Usually I am not vindictive…but. I really enjoyed tonight seeing seafood king wanker and his pissant wife getting their comeuppance. The Twitter comments at the bottom of screen were mostly hanging shit on them for their boasting previously.

    Want your squid tubes to get browned? Stop turning them every 2 seconds and give them a chance to brown. Want your skinny chips to not burn? Don’t throw them in the oil that you know from the thermometer is too bloody hot. Especially with an electric stove, give burners a chance to cool down. Fucking idiots deserved every low score given tonight. When Pete gave them a 1 for the main course, I cheered.

    Mrs. Tool and her seafood pukes are her wanting to make everything about her. Whether it’s an allergy, which I doubt, or a mental aversion, If seafood makes her sick, she can eat one bite so she can judge, then leave it. And for chrissake stop talking about puking while at the table, you gross, self-absorbed bitch.

    I figured out why I dislike Seafood Bullshit-Artist so much more than his wankerness deserves. He holds his mouth the way Donald Trump does, and he’s a mouth breather. I lived in Broome for many years and was kind of looking forward to seeing bits of scenery from the town. That was overshadowed by me wanting to see Josh and Amy fail.

    Ads are naming Wanker and Mr. Tool as in The Battle of The Titans. Really, Channel 7? Wanker is not a titan of anything except his own big mouth.

    • If you vomit as a result of a food allergy you are going into anaphylactic shock. That is a medical emergency that requires immediate hospitalisation and can be life-threatening. You do not come back to the table 2 minutes later looking fine.

      And if Ms Tool actually suffered a fish allergy that was life threatening then (1) MKR’s insurers would refuse cover to the show if she were planning to eat fish and (2) Ms Tool’s doctor would advise her never to eat fish under any circumstances.

      If you vomit as a result of a food intolerance it will take at least a half hour before anything happens.

      Allergy or intolerance, it is not going to be effected in the slightest by whether the food trigger is cooked well or badly.

      There was indeed a Prime Wanker in this episode but I am by no means sure it was Josh.

      • I still don’t think she was faking it completely though. The camera shots of her face turning white (which even the other competitors mentioned) seemed pretty genuine. And I doubt the other contestants (or Manu, who mentioned it) were in on the scam.

        I’d say it’s psychological (I’ve had moments where something really shocking to me mentally have made me want to retch, and that was within minutes) combined with a healthy sense of melodrama and, yes, self-absorption.

        Which hardly absolves Josh of his bullshit, which the guests had to sit through for a very, very long time.

        • The trouble with a psychological aversion is that her symptoms don’t match that either. She’s eaten fish several times before without going into a panic attack. There’s no possible reason that badly cooked fish would trigger her aversion when well-cooked fish does not. If you want to turn pale quickly just breathe rapidly for a few minutes and you will be quite successful.

          And if you want to give a good impression of an allergy, intolerance or psychological aversion it is probably good tactics not to come back moments later perfectly composed and able to eat more food and then to say the cooking made you throw up.

    • Like I said upthread, I thought the guests were being kind. I would’ve given Josh a “1” with a satisfied smile on my face … indeed, that would’ve been the only satisfying thing to happen to me that whole night.

      I still can’t imagine why you’d come on a cooking show if your aversion to fish is that strong. Gosh, where the hell does channel 7 find these idiots?

      Can it start *leaving* them there?

      • Agree with you Windsong, I would have given them a 1, too. Diners would have walked out of that restaurant for waiting so long or if they decided to stay would have sent back the entree, the main and possibly the dessert.
        The contestants probably stopped somewhere on the way home to get something to eat. 🙂

  7. King Jerk and his Mrs. are delusional. Since he kept saying that he could cook better with his eyes closed then maybe the producers should have blindfolded both of them and perhaps the food would have been better. Did they put this team on the program because of their attitude and the faux drama that they might contribute? They certainly didn’t get on because of their cooking skills.
    He boasted about his filleting skills but the fish fillets looked ragged and they didn’t appear to be of equal size.
    I don’t generally feel good about a team failing but in this case I was very happy. This team deserved to sink to the bottom of the leader board.
    Additional points should have been deducted for their very slow service. MKR needs to set time limits for each course like they do in the sudden death cook offs. For each half hour or hour beyond the time set for a course a point should be deducted.
    As for Clash of the Titans, “Titans” is a misnomer….don’t see any “Titans” when it comes to King Jerk and Steroid Man.

  8. I cannot stand the girl who vommed last night, BUUUTTT I have to say that I do not eat fish (not an allergy or intolerance) because the taste of it makes me gag, which can lead me to vomit.

    In saying that, I haven’t enrolled myself in a cooking show. Appearing on MKR should mean you at least eat all foods, but, ratings…

    • I am wondering if they applied for another reality show and Channel 7 had them on file. House Rules? Amazing Race? I’ve got it: Bride and Prejudice! Each set of parents objected to the marriage because the future spouse was a knob.

        • It wouldn’t surprise me. These days people are so hungry for their 15 mins of fame that even if they applied for another show, and were contacted about something completely different, they would jump on it, just for the exposure. Just look at how Keira has milked her “celebrity”. Look at the so called “influencers” on instagram. It’s all a facsimile of a sham.

  9. That fish guy said he wanted to cook “the best fish and chips EVER cooked on MKR”. Could it have anything to do with the night before contestants had cooked “the best ribs, ever cooked on MKR”?
    So pleased he is on bottom of leader board, right where the big boasting mouth belongs.
    Still don’t understand why Mrs Vomit has to continually talk about vomiting at the table, so rude. I think she is trying to put everyone off their meals.
    I bet she didn’t spew up in the loo.
    I also agree points should be taken off if the meals take over a certain time to be served.

    • Thanks Liberty. Looking forward to the big scandal that supposedly happens tonight.
      If I was the seafood guy I would be keeping my big mouth shut. He had his chance and he failed, big time.
      Apparently he had a big fight with Pete. Calling his Paleo diet rubbish or some other words that Pete didn’t take kindly to and Pete threatened to walk off the set.
      They are not sure if they will be showing us. That would be right!

      • Not sure I believe what the gossip mags churn out every week.

        I thik the so call big cheating scandal is when Mr Muscle used some store bought something in their cooking.

  10. In Liberty’s link there is a short movie of Fish boys modelling video.
    Let me say it must have been for some low budget catalogue he was a model for, because he was a shocker, cringeworthy stuff.

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