MKR returns Easter Mon

Yes, it’s finally the heavily promoed night when the Seafood King cooks and Other Amy walks out – surely for all of two minutes?
Here’s the current leaderboard, so even if Josh and Other Amy somehow get even mediocre scores they will still probably with to do battle in Kitchen HQ with the midwives.
leaderboardeaster
It’s on Seven at 7.30pm and straight after it’s the season premiere of Seven Year Switch, from 9-10.15pm.

Because Josh is the Seafood King, the entrees are both fishy: whitebait with salad and seafood chowder with damper.
Main is pork belly adobo with rice or blue swimmer crab with salad.
Dessert is something I can’t see because Pete is holding the menu too low – must you ruin everything, Pete! It looks like a Dutch word, though, in a nod to Josh’s background.

They start with a stop at the seafood shop, and how good do those prawns look! I really need to visit WA.
The go to Coles … yadda, yadda yadda …
In the kitchen, Josh says Other Amy is the head chef and they are going to have fun. Yeah, but no.
Dessert one is Koeksisters meet Dom Pedro and Pete and Manu are baffled.


Thanks to Dr Google, I now know it’s a honey doughnutty twisty thing (picture and recipe here). And a Dom Pedro is a South African drink with vanilla and Kahlua, so I guess that’s their ice cream.
Amy explains she has South African heritage, so I guess Josh’s Dutchness (as opposed to his douchiness) does not come via Cape Town.
Dessert two is Crema Catalana with Spanish biscotti.
Josh decides to put extra wine in the marinade because “I know what I’m doing”. Amy tells him a million times to leave her some coriander for their rice dish. His pot of crabs is so huge he has it sitting on the floor to marinate. Amy is doing all the jobs requiring measuring and taking care. The camera keeps cutting to the herbs floating with Josh’s crab, so you know he has used all Amy’s coriander.
He is happy with its fish stock because it smells “manky”.

The guests arrive in what looks to be sweltering heat. The midwives are both sunburnt with strong tan lines. Court and Dunc appear to be more awake this episode and are happy to oblige the producers with some snark. Must be the Hashtaggers’ night off.


It must be really hot but Pete and Manu aren’t even wearing suits.
Josh wants to score around 86. Modest fellow.

In the kitchen Josh is talking the talk about his seafood prowess and Amy is getting testy. At the table, the other teams who ate Josh’s food before are filling the others in on how bad it is. Amy (Tyson’s Amy) mentions the WA team is the Steven Bradbury of the competition. Then there is a lot of chat that sounds like a teacher trying to describe a terrible student in a polite way. But then Court just basically says he’s a dick.
There is much bickering in the kitchen over plating up and Josh suggests they will get divorced after this. Nice.

Entree is served.
Pete had whitebait but says all three components kinda sucked. The fish wasn’t crispy. Manu had the chowder and says “zis plate is a picture of stress”. The seafood was well cooked but they should not have blitzed the vegies.
Tyson says the whitebait is more of a bar snack than an entree – good call, Tyson.
For once, Court is not the one crying. Hashtagger Betty is all teary because she “can’t even think of a hashtag to give them. Hashtags are for fun” and they are not respecting the produce. Everyone else at the table thinks she’s gone cray-cray in the heat. Or perhaps ti’s the weight of those giant earrings giving her a headache.
Cut to Amy: “And the Logie goes to …” How much do I want Tyson and Amy to win this competition.

Back in the kitchen, Coriandergate has started. Amy has the shits big time and accidentally overreduces her soz. She complains the adobo is so boring-looking as it’s just brown and white. They did have parsley inn the fridge – at least it would have been a touch of green. Or perhaps a lime wedge? Or even some thinly sliced chilli.

Main is served
Pete has the adobo and the soz wasn’t balanced – it was too salty and needed something green. “Not enjoyable after the second bit,” he says.
Manu normally loves blue swimmer crab but they just tasted like wine. He says there is no need to ever marinate crab in wine. “If you, Josh, were sitting here tonight, you would take this apart.” He tells them to pull it together for dessert.

In the kitchen Other Amy starts crying and Josh has no idea what to say. They walk outside for a minute to cool off (so it wasn’t really a walkout – what a shock) and the guests can here Other Amy swearing. There are tears and swearing but they decide to carry on. The guests feel totes awks.
In the kitchen Other Amy is happy with her doughnuts but lets Josh who has never done it before, use the blow torch to caramelise the sugar on the other desserts. Just do it yourself, Other Amy!
Please can this race to the bottom just be over already. The promos say tomorrow is the quarter finals but we still have a million teams left.
Amy keeps adding alcohol to her dessert milkshakes and after numerous tastings starts to feel better.

Dessert is served
Pete had the doughnut and cocktail. The former was dense and the latter way too alcoholic. Manu’s crema was liquid and had no flavour and the sugar wasn’t caramelised. “It’s not even funny any more,” he says.
Pete: “You’ve had highs in this competition – just not tonight.” Really? When, Pete? When were these highs? Did I blink and miss them?
Over to Original Amy to describe the milkshake: “It kind of tastes like Bubble O Bill had a bottle of whisky.” I hope she gets a regular gig as a food reviewer after this.

Instead of showing the teams’ scores we skip straight to Pete and Manu, and instead of a Kitchen HQ battle the twist is it’s an on-the-spot elimination. So the Seafood King is done for.

Entree: Manu – chowder 3; Pete – whitebait 4
Main: Manu – crab 1 (I’m trying to remember; have we ever seen a zero?); Pete – adobo 2
Dessert: Manu – sugar slop 1; Pete doughnuts and cocktail 1

The teams’ combined score is 19/70. (With seven teams, that means 2s and 3s, which seems pretty generous, given the food).
Total: 31

Finally – no more Josh!
Cue montage set to “Simply the Best”. Strangely the “slut” footage didn’t make it.
From tomorrow, one team goes home every night. The teams left are:
The Scores
Midwives
Hashtags
Mates
Court and Dunc
Della and Tully
Amy and Tyson
Mum and daughter
Brown Beard and Tim



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38 Comments

  1. Funny how the “leaderboard” has only two above average to good teams and the rest are rubbish.

    It’s more like a wall of culinary shame.

    Poor Manu is left to be the enforcer against Josh.

    • Gosh, this season has been bad for actual decent food. At least we have Tim and Kyle’s return on the horizon to look forward to.

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  2. I can’t imagine Josh and Amy getting a high score. Nobody likes them. This is everybody’s perfect chance to get revenge. And if the food is gonna be horrible (which the previews make it look like), then that’s even more of a chance. I don’t see them surviving tonight. I just don’t.

    Then again, I’ve been wrong before.

  3. Saw the sneak peak of their entrée. Nothing spectacular. Just the usual Josh style. Something you get in a fish and chip shop.

  4. Did anyone else notice that when Josh and Amy return to Broome, nobody’s there to greet them?

    And interesting moments of foreshadowing abound, tonight.

    Josh: I’m tired of fighting with you.
    Amy: I just want to enjoy tonight.

    Yeah, good luck with that, guys.

    Broome looks like a nice place to visit, though.

  5. Court’s already in the running for the line of the episode.

    “Yeah, I had a good night here last time. Until they brought out the food.”

    Zing!

  6. Nice to be spared the shots of Pete and Manu buttoning up their jackets as they get out of the car….no jackets tonight….its f***ing hot in Broome…(was when we were there)

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  7. So, spoiler alert. We’re 500 episodes through the current season, and no. Josh still doesn’t have the slightest idea how to cook seafood.

    Thank you, channel 7, for subjecting us to this obnoxious, rude, self-obsessed and anti-social moron for *so* long.

    • Every single meal was a fail. Every single thing that Josh congratulated himself for, the judges specifically said, “No, you screwed this up and made it awful”. Where the hell did channel 7 find these pair of nimrods? And next time, can it leave them there?

  8. Here we go again. Look like Josh is not going home.

    They may follow last year where the lowest improved team in the IR get eliminated.

    • Ch 7 must think he’s a gold laying goose.

      I see a bad moon rising in the kitchen tonight.

      What a fail was the wine marinade.

  9. Thank goodness they did the right thing and send him packing.

    He is clueless with flavours. All he can do is just cook seafood in its natural form.

    With him around I will just eat sashimi

  10. So, does everyone want to join me in a rousing rendition of, “Ding dong, the witch is dead”?

    When the ad hinted that the elimination wouldn’t happen in the way everyone thinks, I was ready to scream. Of course, I thought, of course channel 7 would keep this bastard around just to keep people watching. Mercifully, sanity prevailed. From six courses of food delivered to the judges, they scored 12 points (and then 19 from the other guests … which I thought was very kind, since I would’ve scored them 1 and taken great pleasure out of it. But people must’ve given them 3s and 4s).

    And at the end, Josh just has that stupid grin on his face. “I don’t feel too bad. We did a good job, and this was fun.” Josh, you idiot, YOU CANNOT COOK and … oh, what’s the point?

    Is this season over yet?

  11. I watched the whole show because, whatever the silly promos suggested, I knew those two would stuff up the meal since they simply cannot cook. The instant elimination at the end was a lovely bonus.

    The best part was when Amy asked Josh a question as he was stirring something on the stove. He told her to wait because he had to concentrate on what he was doing. Stirring. Hey, bozo, you just admitted in front of a lot of people that you can’t stir, think, and talk all at the same time. That was no surprise to anyone, I’m sure, but I found it hilarious that he outed himself as a moron on national television.

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