MasterChef – ongoing chat – May 29

MasterChef chat for this week. I’m out of the country so can someone please let me know who wins/is voted out/who makes another bloody jelly that doesn’t set …



    • Of course she has a photo of herself for inspiration – Jess herself is the person she thinks most highly of. And don’t get me started on the resting bitch face.

  1. I find these pressure test very boring to watch. Every week is the same. They are falling behind. Will they get the dish up and miraculously they do

    • The best part is in the first five minutes when the chef shows the dish that he or she made.

  2. thankfully another season in the USA starts soon (Season 8 starts on 31st May). I also echo the comments that the ‘other’ cooking shows on Food channel are better than the aussie crap.

    • I may be harsh but I just don’t buy her tears, to me she turns them on and off for dramatic effect.

  3. Jess being a drama queen.
    Trent speaking in MC cliches.
    I sort of want the other guy to be safe.
    Oh, just put us out of our misery, eliminate all 3!

  4. I have only just tuned in. Fed and happy with a cup of tea in hand.
    And my first thought is: eeeeew … that dish looks disgusting ….!
    Its green and brown muck splotched on a plate. Seriously. No, no, really.

  5. Gawd! I nearly threw up when Jess told Trent that she was really proud of him. How does that even make sense?

  6. Omg what a farce. Nurse Ratched puts up a plate of mushy soup and survives?
    Miraculously, in her pocket, she happens to produce the photo of her in Italy, looking uncharacteristlcally happy, chucking up pizza dough.
    The gimmick works. Tears flow, and she gets to terrify everyone another day.

  7. Oh my God, at first I thought that was a yummy dessert with raspberries but turned out to be emu with fucking beetroot. I love emu, I’ve had it a few times but don’t like beetroot.
    Poor Sam was lagging behind for a while there then Gary comes over & asks what he’s been doing that whole time to fall behind. Cooking. What the bloody hell does he think he’d been doing.
    That green shit looked disgusting. I thought Jess would go home since she said it was grainy. But silly me, it was Trent that went.

    • She said she left it all on the plate tonight. That plate of runny mush certainly looked like it with the raw green slime under it.
      If 2 contestants plates look and taste equally as bad, hell get rid of both cooks. Less torture on the viewer and it’s been torture this season.
      No joy in this years batch of AMAZING amatas

      • Did you notice the face that Matt made when he was tasting Jess’s dish? He was not enjoying it. Do you get rid of someone who didn’t use enough of some of the elements but what he presented tasted good or do you get rid of someone whose dish did not taste good? I would think the latter or agree with Lola that they should both be eliminated. BUT this is MC and tears get the contestant through once again.

  8. Sounds like I have an awesome encore to prepare for tomorrow afternoon.

    Crying is the most important skill to have on Ma$terchef, with Jess’s inspiration and manic intensity to hero her tilt, she’ll go a long way. Tattoo and skunklocks. What a package of embarrassing desperation. Bit of $wisse…. will help even the best evah amatas.

  9. Most important skills on MC are

    Cry at the drop of a hat
    A dead grandparent
    Tear up when talk about your children
    A tragic backstory
    Funky hair to stand out
    You have give up everything to be on MC

  10. I couldn’t face watching – but I like young Sam – was his dish okay? Was it between Trent and Jess?

      • Thank you! I didn’t have sufficient strength to face watching Jess’s shenanigans in this episode.

  11. I could only bear to watch the about 15 minutes or so of this episode. I watched the beginning to find out what the pressure test was, skipped the cooking portion and watched the judging.

  12. With Jess, you don’t seem to get what she advertised in her entry dish. She wanted to do different/exciting things. As usual, it now appears that dish was rehearsed to get the attention of the judges. So far she has been in the bottom three, 3 or 4? times. F*ed up the cook in a group challenge using her dense sponge and on Sunday cooking rice pudding? Really….. rice pudding. A five year old could have whipped that up!

    • Jess is sinking to the bottom, hopefully she will be eliminated soon. Her over dramatic behaviour will only get her so far.

  13. That pressure test dish looked unappetising, like a big blood clot with burnt incense sticks across it, more appropriately as something seen in Dexter’s kill room.

    Was Gary’s snotty question to Sam about what he’d been doing during all that time presaging Sam’s imminent elimination? I like young Sam and his rather endearing sibilant ‘s’.

    • Gary was being a prick! I certainly wouldn’t order or eat that dish. I’ve only tried emu once and that was enough for me. Love how, when it suits them…. the judges chose texture over taste.

      • He’s really turning me off Masterchef which was my fave reality show. He’s so morose and cheerless – it’s like they aren’t paying him enough to be pleasant unless he fancies you. Yuck.
        He trots out his standards and puts some random emphasis on words like “flavour” and “love” and generally goes through the motions.
        I am sure they are all jolly and fun and enjoying life in the early seasons. But it’s pretty grim watching some nights.

        • Poor headband Sam – if only he’d been a cute little blonde female that could smile at and simper at some overweight, grumpy middle-aged men.
          Tamare turned me right off with her totally insincere comments to the other two at the end of the cook.
          Thank God I’m going out tomorrow night – I couldn’t bear another episode.

  14. They should start roasting and heroing Groundhogs on Ma$terchef as we’ve seen it all before, so many times.

    You see one cravat, you’ve seen them all. Whatever floats your ice cream.

  15. Okay, let me get this straight. Best amatas eva in the running for an immunity pin and they are cooking ‘mac and cheese.’

    Shark officially jumped.

  16. This episode really demonstrated who’s ‘in’ and who is not. Both the gantry during the mac and cheese challenge and the judges during tasting. It also seems that Shannon is doling out more advice than usual, even though Tamara ignored much of it. Because of course as an amata she knows better.

  17. Pot sticker dumplings? I will be mortified if Tamara wins with those. Clinton (?) is seriously clever in the kitchen!

    • Snap Liberty! It’s BS that they’re saying that it is close. Multiple elements showing a variety of techniques vs dumplings.
      But it’s hardly a blind tasting – Eloise using whiskey and Tamara using her audition dish. (As if the plating alone wasn’t a giveaway).

      • This episode is so revolting.The judges and Shannon were all falling over Tamara. They were trying to make it close. What BS. Tamara didnt even make folds in the dumplings and she is confusing wonton skins with dumpling skins.

        Thank goodness she didnt get the pin. As if the judges dont know who cook what

  18. Saw Tamara was cooking for the pin, cutting to her over emoting with her hands. Changed channels promptly, watching War on waste on ABC.

    • Me too. I knew headband Sam wouldn’t be in running with hand gesture girl there.
      Just checking whether the pins was tucked into Tamara’s Lolly bag at the end of the party. Glad it wasn’t, but given this season is about every kiddy wins a prize I am faintly surprised.

  19. I haven’t read the latest comments, no spoilers. But did that impudent young woman, who thinks she’s “on a roll”, just tell that chef that she was impressed with his resume? Wow, chickie, aren’t you special. Come on, the chef!

  20. Yes, it must’ve made Clinton’s day to hear that Tamara was impressed with his resume. Did that mean he was worthy of her?
    Then when he came to her bench to see ‘how she was doing,’ which is customary, she dissed him, accusing him of spying. Unbelievable cheek.
    Does this brat think she can survive with a big smile, dumplings and attitude?

  21. Skipped another episode after yesterday’s elimination. Couldn’t handle the nurse having her head in her own backside. Today’s episode also sounds awful. Another teacher’s pet…
    Btw, can it be that all the women are blond this year? Except for the Asian ladies?
    I really think the show jumped the shark by now and it does not help that the judges (especially the G spots) show blatant favouritism for certain contestants.
    I think my feeling was right when I called the show and especially the dishes in the qualifier round pretentious. They were all so overly rehearsed and I feel that not many really stepped it up yet. The judges were singing the highest praises for certain contestants and now they continue it so the viewer apparently will never realize that the rehearsed dishes were just … well… rehearsed. And that those contestants are fucking fabulous…

  22. Silly little girl made a poor joke dissing lovely, fully qualified chef at the plate selection. Then picks a white plate (for plating cream coloured food – ffs).
    Loved the very diplomatic way the talented chef says blondie is now pissing him off – showing great restraint.

    • Nothing nice with Tamara plating. As I mentioned before, she didnt even pleat the dumpling and wont say what she was cooking because guest chef was spying on her!!!! As if.

  23. Another fake episode. The only surprise was that Tamara didn’t win the immunity pin. I really thought the stooges were going to hand it to her on a silver platter. The 9s and the 8 she got were overly generous. Ooohing and aaahing over her dumpling dish was so contrived. I was amazed that they did not give the guest chef 10s. His dish was extremely impressive and there were no negatives. It was obvious, too, who made which dish. As if Tamara would have prepared that lamb dish.
    As for the macaroni and cheese, didn’t see that in her dish at all. Some cannelloni noodles, a cheesy sauce and some cut up and heated chilis. She called it chili mac but that’s not chili mac….where was the chili meat (or crumbled soy protein if you’re a vegetarian)? Samuel’s dish looked the closest to mac and cheese but since they had predetermined who would go on to cook off against the guest chef it didn’t matter. As long as Tamara’s dish didn’t look like an obvious failure she was moving on.
    The stooges aren’t convincing at all. It’s actually become funny (and yet sad) watching their fake reactions to the contestants’ food.

  24. What a conceited, insolent little punk that Tamara is: the guest chef is trying to spy on her boring dumpling, her plating is better, Gary is wrong for not giving her a higher score. She is blinded by her own shining perfection. I had to turn the sound off to save myself from any more of her self-serving horseshit.

    Broome Tourist Bureau must be planning a big campaign to counter the effects of this little missy and that wanker deckhand from MKR.

    • She’s on Masterchef. She’s convinced herself (with some help from the stooges) that she is extra special, that she’s a celebrity, that she knows all about plating and that she is one of the best cooks evah on Mastersh*t.

  25. …and as distressing as all that was, George’s jeans took the concept to the max. He was ready for a knees up if the producers engineered a win for Tamara!

  26. I just watched the shonkore. George was calling Tamara “Tomorrow”. Her $hit doesn’t stink.

  27. What Tamara plated up was pasta with a cheese and chilli sauce. But tbe judges pretended that it was mac and cheese, so ao so good

    • It didn’t make sense – even for Masterchef.
      Why was Ben’s dish called ‘a pasta dish,’ not a true mac n’ cheese, when Tamara put up cannelloni with a chilli sauce and that was acceptable? What’s the difference?
      At least his had 4 cheeses in it.

      • Because she is a girl with blonde hair. The judges were determined to get Tamara to cook against the guest chef.

    • You can’t dye what isn’t there. That juvenile Bieberesque crest at the front won’t save the day and distract from the helipads at top and back.

      Gary dies every night.

  28. All they can come up with are doughnuts and more doughnuts.

    Far out, they dont even know how many grams in 1kg?

    Michelle is starting to grate with her cute (not) remarks.

  29. So the conceit is that the two safe teams either have the highest turnover or who the judges want safe[sorry tastes the most delicious]. On that basis the green team should be safe.

    Hate “maths is so hard” clip. It is nothing to be proud of.

  30. Oh dear. Woeful. But is anyone else quietly optimistic that Jess “I make doughnuts” will drag down her team?

    • Jess hasn’t made jam in large quantities- oh dear! It’s now a glaze!

      Doughnuts- is that the best all these teams can conjure up. Unless Jesus is in attendance and can multiple a la ‘loaves and fishes ‘ . I don’t see any of the teams able to feed the sea of people. They might have to go to the donut van around the corner.

    • At least no one attempted ice cream. πŸ˜‰
      The team that offered very little pork and sickening looking donuts with all that glaze on top should have gone to elimination but they made the most money…LMAO.
      MC is such a sad, fake show.

  31. Miss Jess fail again. Cant blame anyone except herself. I made doughnut all the time, blah blah blah.

  32. Of course the Green team are safe – that’s a given.
    Tamara likes ordering the team around.

    The Blue teams Eton mess looked delicious

    • Judges choice nothing to do with money if the runner up got $4k out of $30+ they raised. Now THAT doesn’t add up.

  33. No surprises. We would like to know what each team made. Very convenient that the Green team is safe.

      • I had a feeling the green team would get through because both Tamara and Eloise were on that team. I don’t believe that they sold more than the yellow team. If people saw those dishes would they rather buy 2 pieces of pork or a cone full of popcorn chicken? Would they rather have 2 donuts or a cone full of donuts? Also the green team ran out of food towards the end whereas the yellow team was still selling. I say “foul” and BS.

  34. Green team is safe because the two protected species were in it: Tamara and Eloise, who are increasingly annoying. Some of their skewers only had one piece of pork! The money stuff was all bs, and yellow team was robbed.
    So Mouth and Crazy Hair get to shriek ‘encouragement’ from the gantry tomorrow – it’ll be unbearable.

    And I think Michelle is immature and playing on it – she belongs in a bouncing castle.

    • Worse than shrieking encouragement – we will have Tamara giving her patronising commentary.
      Really pleased that the team who did NOT do doughnuts won out. The mess is a smart move as it is easy to make huge quantities and keep it going. I would have thought their money was high purely because they had lots of stuff going to the end.
      The praising by the judges of the food was woefully out of sync with the actual look of the food! I know we can’t taste it but compared to previous years it looked mainly unappetising-lumps of meat all the same colour. I recall some bright salad and crunchy stuff in the past. Despite marketing it and talking up with catchy names it looked deeply ordinary.
      I also wonder if the non public vote – which is normally used on these challenges- is because producers were worried there would be a lot of scrunched joses and kids sptting out food type footage. Oh, and they couldn’t rig the outcomes as easily.

    • Ten dollars for that tiny skewer with only 1 or 2 tiny pieces of pork. What a rip off. The popcorn chicken in the cone looked like way better value. Is it just me? When they said cones I immediately thought it would be ice cream.

      • Definitely not you – total rip off! I also thought cones was a CLUE to the ice cream makers – utterly surprised they didn’t do ice cream, but they maybe aren’t a bright bunch.
        I would place substantial money on green having less money than both blue and yellow, but with both Eloise and Tamara in that team they were sure to be saved. I like Arum, so i’m pleased he got lucky and was in the Protected Species Team.
        Trying to work out who I like that is up for elimination – it’s so much easier to work out who I don’t like! I think headband Sam and the blondes who seem capable but don’t get air time are there, but surely those three can easily despatch the single-dimensional Michelle or the can’t cook Jess?

  35. The food that the yellow team served was so much better than the Green team.
    One piece of pork with a sickly sweet sauce – customers ripped off at $10 a pop.

    You just know that Eloise and Tamara will be groomed for the final week. I sort of want the winner to be Samuel or Arum or Callan or anyone that is not photogenic or a drama queen. Note Jess is looking extremely morose of late – she knows her days on MC is numbered. Time for a girl to be eliminated- it will be either her or Michelle tonight.

  36. Callan is younger than Michelle but doesnt make silly comments. He is axtually quite likeable.

    I would bet my money that Blue team is the team that got the most money followed by yellow team.

    I know Sarah can cook but please get her a cap. I wouldn’t buy from the greean team. Sarah’s hair is everywhere and she looks so dirty.

    • I like Callan too, although there was that moment when he referred to himself in the third person which gave me pause.

      My conspiracy goes like this. Blue romped it in for the biggest sellers – their dishes looked like value for money and they had enough to sell to the end so they made the most cash. This then gave a problem as the producers needed to save green. That is, it surely stretches imagination that two identical looking yet ordinary dishes (sweet-coated turds and frankly ordinary looking doughnuts) would be the standout dishes of the day. So they quickly decided they could give blue ‘most delicious’ as their dishes were good and believable as delicious enough and that freed up producers to give green the ‘biggest seller’ prize.

    • So true. For an 18 yr old, Callan shows maturity way beyond his years – you’d think he was a baby-faced 30 something.
      And who would want to eat the food of someone with sweaty hair all over their face … Sarah? Get a headband, a hat, a hijab .. anything.

  37. Pasta Chef USA season 8 has begun. Cook with passion. You’ve got 10 minutes
    I haven’t watched the Aus season since it was Pannacotta Chef.

    • The US version is awful. It’s even more drama which is so awfully contrived. It’s always even more obvious than in the AUS version who is in with the judges. Also all the over the top patriotism annoys me to no end. It’s so loud and full of show offs. It’s just too much of an elbow out mentality. If you really want to watch a good Masterchef version, watch Masterchef UK.

      • MC UK, MC UK professionals and MC UK Celebrity version are much better than the AU & US versions. I watched MC Canada and didn’t think it was very good at all. The dishes seemed to be a lot simpler than those that are cooked on the other MCs.

          • Agree w/ you Zhee. John and Greg are straightforward as are the critics, the past contestants & guest chefs. There is no faux drama, no jumping, clapping, screaming and/or fanning.

          • Yes, it simply features the cooking. Like it did with baking in GBBO (and the Australian version – which I actually really like despite having Maggie Beer as a judge and she annoys me).

  38. If Nicole is aliminated , there goes the eye candy. Surely $hine won’t let that happen.

  39. I know tonight there will be an elimination, but I don’t remember which teams are in it. I was too busy laughing at the quality of the captaincies last night. It isn’t easy being a captain, or a boss, or a supervisor, if you aren’t used to that position. But yelling “come on, whatever colour team!”, and leading some of the crowd in chanting your team colour does not a captain make. Do any of these contestants know how to hurry up, work quickly?

  40. Just looked up a few contestants and see that Arum used to be a ballet dancer, comes from Manly here in Sydney.

  41. My god. Jess cant get the jam to set and now the curd is like jelly. Great skills. Maybe tonight is her last cook

  42. Callan’s dish was really weird. Lamb tartare, raspberries, popcorn and a smoked egg yolk. Yuk!

    Jess imploded. Her egg was too overcooked. She has looked so unhappy over the past week. She might be creative but cooking the basics was not her forte. Couldn’t make a sponge, jam or curd. Couldn’t create a runny soft boiled egg.

  43. Oh my God, so many egg stuff ups. Those judges do not like their eggs hard boiled. Those dishes are tricky as you don’t know till you cut it how it is done.
    Well we knew Callan wasn’t going as we saw on the first night when they showed highlights of the series him opening the door to Heston Blumenthal so he is safe at least till then.

  44. Phew, we’re all safe now – she’s gone. The security guards breathe a sigh of relief.
    Can’t believe how much the judges rave about the token bogan’s dishes. First, the pineapple sausage roll, now steak, egg n’ chips. Really?

    Of course Nicole’s always safe. She never seems to do much, but looks good on the mantlepiece. If her ‘food dream’ doesn’t work out, she may get a job as a Channel 9 weather girl.

    • Could be opportunities in the porn industry for Nicole after Ma$terchef. She could make a good sandwich.

  45. While I won’t miss Jess, I have to wonder about some of the other dishes that got through. Were they meant to “hero” the egg or ensure it held a prominent role in the end result?

  46. Judges also glorified Michelle’s Mee goreng even before tasting it. I guessed if Michelle sneaked in the 2 minute Mi Goreng and top with a fried egg, the judges will still say it is good.

  47. The egg dishes for the most part weren’t wow. Wonder what Delia Smith would have made of it.

    They should start with the basics each season and let the skill set build afterall we are not seeing anything brilliant sans recipe…ice cream, doughnuts, pork crackling, eton mess and hard boiled eggs.

  48. From Yotam:

    The biggest mistake Ottolenghi has noticed among the amateur chefs is their desire to impress, which leads, he says, to them trying too hard to please.
    “They put too many things on the plate and that’s a common mistake that people who are at the beginning, and quite enthusiastic, do. They think ‘oh I’ll just add one more thing and one more thing ‘ but at some point it’s just too much and you don’t know what you’re tasting so I said to the contestants ‘less is more’,” he said.

    The judges are to be blamed. They just go gaga with all these minute alements on the plate.

    I didnt taste Callan’s first egg dish. Its just egg and something around it but George said its too simple.

    Jess seems to love love Japanese food. A simple Japanese steam egg will HERO the egg but to get the silky egg is a challenge.

    Doesnt custard uses egg yolks. What about a dessert with custard?

    • Yotam is right. Looking really forward to his MC week. I tried easy recipes in the past and it always turned out delicious.

  49. Jess dwells on her creativity but there was nothing creative about anything she did during this challenge. Couldn’t even figure out something else to do in the third round besides another crumbed egg.
    There was no creativity whatsoever in Pete’s steak and eggs dish. I would not describe that as an MC dish (whatever that means). He even messed up cooking 2 fried eggs.
    Both of them could have been eliminated. At least Jess is gone.
    Callan did try to be inventive and create something unusual and supposedly it was somewhat tasty.

    • Yeah he stuffed up his egg the first time, then does the exact same thing again & wonders why it stuffed up too. Who fries an egg in butter? I always use oil.

    • Maybe I just crossed your line. Thanks for reading, Nil , I’ll give the matter due thought.

      • Thanks for responding. Don’t wanna be the thought police. For the most part you are very funny…all of you. Cheers.

  50. saw episode 1 of USA’s season 8. the auditions are the best part
    some foul mouthed yokel at the end gets in πŸ™‚

  51. Just like in Julie and Julia (ok, maybe not quite that far), if you really want to be an awesome cook, work your way through a basic book of recipes. Day to Day Cookery was “my” school issue basic cookbook where you can start simple – how to cook an egg, not by deep frying in butter (did anyone else heave?). The Kiwi equivalent Edmonds (love my Edmonds bible). The issue with some of these “amatas” is that they want to start their cookery career at the top, no hard graft required!

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