Family Food Fight starts

Nine’s new series, Family Food Fight, launches tomorrow at 7.30pm.
It’s based on an overseas format and has Matt Moran and Anna Polyviou (punkish pastrychef regularly seen on MasterChef).

MINI RECAP
We get a brief introduction to all the families. Apparently Greeks and Italians are required to give each other grief.
They arrive at Kitchen HQ and Matt Moran tells them to open cookbooks which will explain their challenges.
They have to serve a family feast, including one dessert, in 2.5 hours.
The Lebanese Muslim sisters are shouting orders at each other and magenta scarf lady does not like being bossed around. After a retort in Arabic she mutters “pissing me off”. So, not quite MasterChef then!
I am looking forward to a show where accessible food is cooked. Let’s hope some of the postulating blokes on the Euro teams settle down, get over the fact they are on camera and just cook good food.

Matt announces the judges are watching them via camera. Creepy! He gives them clues but we know it’s Anna P, Hayden Quinn and Tom Parker Bowles AKA Prince Charles’s stepson.

The Anglo Aussie family in the yellow aprons, the Butlers, are cooking 10 dishes: six mains and four desserts. Four desserts! Just do two and do them well.
Via spy camera thejudges are bagging out Anglo Dad’s fish filleting technique.

Green apron Italians have many pots of sauce on the go. Mum Pina is hailed as the family’s walking cookbook while Dad Franknis the joker who can’t be trusted with tricky jobs.

Blue aprons are the Greeks, who say they are seafood specialists. Dessert is loukemades (doughnuts) yum! Greek brother’s filleting technique gets the thumbs up.

Purple apron Viet-Aussies are having dessert woes. Anna is in agony watching them murder the pastry. Quick, Trinity with the pigtails – whip up some meringue as a backup or something. The pigtail sisters are only 15 and 16. Dad says he wants to inspire kids to get off social media and into the kitchen. But teen daughter responds with “Dad, you are always on your phone”. Burn.

Orange apron Anglo Aussies are keeping it together, working calmly, but have made what seems to be an odd decision to cook a beef fillet in treacle.

Red apron Lebanese descent sisters are serving 20 dishes.
Yellow sisters (of the four desserts) are smilingly arguing over whether to do dessert four. Geez,save something for episode two, girls.

Greek mum stuffs up her dip by using the wrong oil, but it’s good to see contestants actually tasting their food. Already they are proving to be stronger cooks than in the first ep of, say, MKR.

The purple Nguyens are impressing the judges by making their own rice noodles, while Italian showman Frank shocks them by not heating up his steak pan, and then dousing what appears to be gorgeous scotch fillet in brandy, which he then flames. And drowns in cream.

The Nguyens tart actually looks pretty good, so the dessert drama moves over to the Shahrouks, who may not get their baklava cooked. Through flashback we learn Mama Sharouk had 11 kids. Eek!

Surprise, surprise, the treacle beef is not over cooked.

Do we really need a top 20 hits music track over the montage of the food being plated? Are they deliberately drowning out Hayden’s commentary?

Another dessert drama: Greek mum’s doughnuts are not cooked and it’s their only dessert. Rookie mistake. Their other dishes look pretty good, though.

I see Woollies is the FFF sponsor. It’s a while since the did a cooking show – I’m thinking Recipe to Riches?

The contestants learn today’s winner gets an advantage: Time, equipment, expert help or a mystery power. It can be used once and then it’s gone.
The judges come join each family at the table, which is kind of nice and much less imposing than on MasterChef.

First up is the Lebanese team, who just cannot stop talking over each other. Their food looks awesome though. The judges are having a decent taste of everything. Matt praises their flavour and seasoning. Tom says it has soul. Anna loves the baklava even though the sisters were worried about it.

The Greek team get rave reviews for their taramasalata and bread. However, Con’s fish is undercooked where he piled it up in the dish. And, as expected, the loukemades aren’t right.

The Italians amaze with their eggplant parmigiana. Frank serves up the beef and cream dish that had them worried, and it’s as bad as they expected. Matt gently gives him some tips for next time.

The orange team’s treacle beef is perfectly cooked but the treacle has a burnt flavour. Ooh, that’s it for team orange.

The Nguyens start with their pho, which is usually simmered overnight. Matt says it’s the best pho he’s ever tasted, and the flavour is amazing for only 2.5 hours. I hope they put the recipe on the website. The jackfruit and ricotta fusion tart which worried the judges. Anna says it’s not perfect but she loves the flavours. I wonder what they would have said if the girls were a bit older.

The camera lingers lovingly on yellow teams upside down pineapple cake. Matt says the quail is perfect and the salmon, which he was worried about, is perfectly cooked. Looks like the Butlers are contenders. Tom loves the chilli choc torte. Anna says she normally hates the chilli choc combo but she loves this one.

THE WINNERS
Matt says the decision was not unanimous. I’m thinking either the Shahrouks or the Butlers. (How does this comp work anyway? Does a family get eliminated every Sunday?)
The Shahrouks win and they are ecstatic. And loud. Very loud. Nine will be delighted with their casting choice.
Matt tells them tomorrow night’s challenge is in a different kitchen and for more people. They pick the advantage of the mystery power. Matt tells them it means they will have double the shopping budget of the other families. Wow – that’s a cool advantage. No gold power pin here.
Looks like tomorrow is a food truck-style challenge. And the loser will go into elimination.

Well, what did you think? Loudness aside I quite enjoyed the focus on food. But there is one judge too many. I’d be happy with just Matt and Anna, but Tom is ok.



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32 Comments

  1. It could become Family Flu Fight with all the hugging and handling of food we’ll see. Just imagine the germs being shared in the photo above. Hi Five or high fever?

    Hygiene is always the biggest loser in these shows. Why risk hours writhing on a corn silo for under cooked food (again)?

    I can’t stand Hayden Quinn. I know there has to be some edgy eye candy for the viewers, but choose people who are alive, ffs.

  2. This show should come with a warning. The contestants are ALL SCREECHERS.
    MUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Matt Moran addresses four Muslim women as “guys”. Fail. In fact Matt Moron , I mean Moran ,is saying “guys ” all the time, gice. “Energy ” and “passion”, blah, blah.

    Hayden Quinn is good at raising his eyebrows when he tastes something. We really need that.

  4. I quite enjoyed this first episode, I was “salivating” at the sight of all that food! A lot of it must get wasted, I saw with the Lebanese family there was plenty left on the judges plates. The shouting and talking over each other was getting annoying though. I wish I could cook like those families, it all looked so good. Good judges, I like Tom and remember him from My Restaurant Rules where the Japanese couple won. The Bird’s Nest was the name of their restaurant.
    Anyway, its a hundred times better than “The Block”, so I will be watching.

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  5. What a let down. Since some of the dishes were highly praised by the judges, you think you can get te recipes on tne website. No they just point you to the 9kitchen for similar recipes!

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  6. I noticed tonight challenge is like the Pressure Test on Masterchef. They will be baking Anna’s cake.
    They dont need to combine Bake off, Mkr and MC in one show. No wonder losing viewers.

  7. The last and only time I had a food fight, I was 17. So the name just sounds as stupid as that. Dumb name, red gglag and then I saw a bit. 4get it.

    • Which is why I watched First Dates tonight.

      I’ve never laughed so much about “Salmon” before.

      But I’ll catch the encore of this Febrile Food Fail , not wanting to miss a train wreck.

      The concept’s okay but Hayden and Pink aren’t helping.

    • Yes. I wondered first if the sun does that at different times of year and then thought ,no , he’s just over done something. Superchef , super fail. If we eat with our eyes , I just threw up.

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