Bachelor in Paradise – ep 3

Finally, Bachidise is back. After the constant stream of MKR episodes it seems odd to have a show that is not on five nights a week. Let’s hope it was worth the wait.
How will Jarrod react when he sees Blake is on the island? Hopefully Keira will protect him and any pot plants he has smuggled through customs.
The promos are treating it like Jarrod is the second coming – I guess it IS the Easter weekend. He is risen off the beach where Sophie crucified him for all of Australia to see.

Judging by the promos Jarrod is the second coming.

Everyone is chilling by the pool and Keira is doing tarot readings for the lads (and we learn Michael knows nothing about “tarr-at”. Even though she and Sam are unofficially paired up, and Michael has dibs on Tara (although nothing romantic has yet happened), when Keira gets the date card she chooses Michael. That’s after Mack proves he’s a master of antica …

…pation
Cut to footage of Tara moping on the day bed and looking a bit teary eyed.

C’mon, Tara, you know how this works: the producers ask Keira to stir the pot and she happily obliges.
Meanwhile, Flo is regretting having picked Jake at the rose ceremony because, surprise, surprise, he’s snubbing her now he has a rose. She’s hoping for some fresh meat.
On their date, Michael and Keira are going horseback riding on the beach. I am waiting for Keira to scream and fall off. They get to wear ridiculous helmets with a woven palm frond hat on top.


Flo is right: fresh meat has arrived but, unfortunately for her, it’s Jarrod. Can’t see them pairing up. I just really wish she’d stop wearing that loose one-piece swimsuit – it’s very uncomfortable watching her on the cusp of a wardrobe malfunction.

Everyone is sooo excited to see Jarrod – he’s the biggest celebrity on the island.


And he comes with a date card. Cut to Flo telling the camera he’s a clinger. Jarrod takes all the girls off one by one for a chat and a goss. Blake gives him the stink eye when he takes off with Laurina.
Meanwhile, Tara and Sam are having a chat and cracking each other up with their childish humour. I can’t really picture Michael laughing.
He’s off telling Keira how much he wants to get to know Tara. There are zero sparks. It’s like watching two planks of wood that have washed up on the beach.

Here comes Ali from Adelaide and it’s such a big event we get pounding orchestral/biblical music. Ali reminds us that she tried to kiss Tim on the first date (awkward!) and was regarded as a “stage five clinger”.


Jarrod is instantly smitten. She is very attractive but, like most of the people on the island, she has the unmoving Nicole Kidman forehead.
Oh, and Flo is quick to point it out. She is not happy Jake is talking to Ali. Oh Flo, just get over it already. You knew this would happen.
Wow, they are bringing in the newbies quickly – here’s Megan saying hi to Osher. We get the recap of Megan rejecting Richie’s rose and knocking the wind out of him. And then a shot of her and fellow contestant Tiff together – although none of their raunchy bikini shots. She tells the camera she is open to dating a guy or a girl.
Osher gives her a date card but there’s a twist and he can barely contain his glee as he explains it. She picks her date based on written anonymous personality profiles. This will be interesting. Don’t let it be someone boring who is already taken.


We learn Megan likes “manly” men and curvy women. We need Cam the firefighter and Elora the fire twirler, stat!
She’s picked Jake. Bleaurgh. Boring!
Jarrod finally gets to chat to Ali. She says all she watched of his season was the finale rejection. Probably a good thing. Things are going well into Mack comes over to be a third wheel. Even Leah is a little jealous. Finally, I am actually learning things about Mack – he owns a window-cleaning business in Perth. He likes Ali. “I’m chuffed speaking to you,” he tells Ali.
Michael and Keira return from their date and Keira is delighted to see Jarrod – they’ve been chatting via Instagram.


Keira compliments him on his eyes and his tan. Umm, Keira, Jarrod is never going to have a tan unless you take him to wherever you get yours. She is playing hard.

Meanwhile, Megan is waiting for her mystery date to arrive. She seems to know Jake already. They met at a party a year ago but have stayed in touch. Is there anyone Jake does not know?
What the hell is Megan wearing? Or rather, not wearing?

Back at the poolside area Michael is trying to show Tara that Keira means nothing to him. “I’m foine,” Tara tells him in her best Kim Day voice. But she’s not. Michael is panicking.

This is Michael’s panicked face. And also his calm face. And his laughing face.


Tara is totally blowing off Michael. He is stunned.
Jake goes in for a pash with Megan just before they enter the doors to to Bachidise.
And that’s the end – so the next episode will be all about the Flo fallout. And Jarrod – who gets to wear a hat that is not the communal black felt floppy – takes Ali on a date. Cue Keira tears.
So, no Laurina tonight? Who’d have thought there’d be a show where Laurina was just backgrounded.



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45 Comments

  1. Jake is not genuine at all. He always looks like he’s about to club the chick over the head and drag her home. Florence is really annoying me, too

    • Loved the Rocky Horror reference. 🤣❤️
      One of my favourite movies of all time (and hoping that Craig McLachlan hasn’t spoilt it for me).

      • I saw the live show two days after it all hit the fan – had bought the tickets a mere 24 hours earlier. It was hard not to think about it but everyone in the audience was very supportive of the cast. I think it’s easier to watch the movie – and Tim Currie is just so good

  2. “I’m chuffed speaking to you.” Mack tells Ali. Chuffed? Hello, 1970.

    Is it just me being a parochial, easily-offended West Australian, or is nearly every West Australian contestant on reality tv a total doofus? I’ll be chuffed to find out.

    • Then Mack asked Ali if she was single. Did he even read the brochure or more to the point, could he?

      If I was Ali, I would have “chucked ” talking /getting stranded with Mack.

  3. Hmm. Tara and Uncle Sam was unexpected. Which is a shame, because Tara and Michael were such a lovely couple. Hopefully they sort their stuff out next episode, because I’m really cheering for them.

    Is Flo starting to annoy anyone else? I get her history with Jake, but she seems to exist in this permanent state of irritation. It’s Fiji, girlfriend. Go have a drink. One of those cool-looking ones with the bubbles and slice of lime.

    I think Jake’s definitely being set up as an early villain. And you know, it was nice to see Jarrod again, smiling this time.

    And so help me, I thought Sam’s Attenborough impression was hilarious.

    • I’m with you on Flo, I can’t remember what I thought of her last year. For someone who supposedly doesn’t like Jake and doesn’t think they will end up together she is pretty p!ssed of with everything he does! Suspect she is in denial about how much she does like him.

      • Gosh, there must be some back-story with Jake and Flo. It’s not just a mid dislike, she really honestly hates his guts. But maybe she’s mad at herself for liking him when he doesn’t really like her back the same way, but still, that doesn’t seem all that healthy.

        I kinda feel bad for all the other contestants who are trying to enjoy a lovely tropical holiday, and here comes Flo with her Jake voodoo doll again.

  4. Wasn’t sure what I would think about Bach rejects in paradise, but i think I prefer it to ‘normal’ bach/bachette series. If they don’t like someone they just don’t show interest. In normal series they have to pretend to like the bach. I mean I know it’s not exactly reality but at least here it’s a bit more real.

  5. I didn’t warm to Flo in TB but I did like Tara. Now I am changing my mind about Tara, and her vagina joke to Sam was pretty rugged. I think even he was shocked.

    • Out of his tiny comfort zone, Sam was only desensitized to hearing that kind of joke at a “Boy’s Night”.

      I didn’t hear the joke. Got lucky.

      “Keira” or “Kiera”? Ch 10’s trailblazing captions are having a bob each way. you never know what you’re going to get. I think of her of as that psycho who cries a lot.

      Ali’s face was melting rather badly in the tropical heat. Shiny .

      • I can’t talk. I know I could joke with a sailor or three, but I thought it was an icky comment to make to a guy. Mind you, I’m also not a fan of the swearing brides on MAFS. “Do you take this man?” “Shit yeah”. Why bother wearing a gorgeous, white frothy fairytale dress if you are going to swear like Bluto?”.

    • Sam honestly looks like he’s having a blast. He hasn’t really coupled up with anyone (and Kiera seems to have latched onto Jarrod in the interim) so I don’t expect he’ll stick around for long, but I’d still date him.

      I liked Flo back on her season, but at the moment, she’s just this permanent black cloud of “Jake sucks!” and it’s tiring.

      • I was sticking out like an uncomfortable sore thumb not liking flow on TB, but not wanting to say too much (coward that I am), so I complimented her on her eyes. But now she seems like that sad, tired drunk (even if she is sober) at the end of the night, crying because her lying, cheating, bastard went home with someone else. And with her side boob and hints of rolls I am loving the tv. I hope she stays. She should give Megan her rose.

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  6. Lisa, Lisa, sensible Lisa, Lisa. (My favourite on Blake’s season). She and Luke are like camp supervisors. I think they will win simply because they will keep choosing each other. I’m not sure how this is going to work. I have forgotten the Bachelor Pad scenario. According to male concensus at Paradise, Lisa has the best “chassis”.

    • Isn’t it a overnight stay for two at the “Bachelor Pad”? .Mind you , if it’s two gels shacked up , it’s not well named. I did think of another name but it’s probably not printable…

      It’s quite infantile the Bachelors likening Lisa to an automobile, while they talk out of their exhaust pipes. The problem is that Lisa’s a Rolls Royce and they are Kingswoods.

      I do agree daisy, that Lisa and Luke are like Camp Supervisors in Paradise. Like Shannan and Michelle running The Biggest Loser.

      • It could only happen to me, but I’m not responsible for that “Attractive Sugar Babies ” spam ad in my 16.1 post. Help Juz!

  7. I admire Jarrod’s ambition. (Not really). Him thinking he can win Ali, is like me setting out for Mount Everest in my joggers and parka. I’d be dead before I reached base camp.

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