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  1. “Bachelor in Paradise” continues to challenge the impressions that some of the contestants left on their own seasons.

    Last night, case in point … Elora. She came in with her eyes set on Luke (and I do think he’s attractive in a silver-fox sort of a way), but when she sat him down and asked him what was going on, he said that he’d already formed a bond with Lisa, and Elora immediately backed off. And actually, I was impressed with Luke there as well. It’s like, see, American contestants? This is how you appear on this show with a tiny amount of dignity and/or class.

    As for Jake, him turning down a date with a beautiful woman because he was coupled up with Megan? Good lord. Is that growth? Character development as a person? Geez. Although I couldn’t shake the mental picture that, somewhere in the world right now, Flo has reached for her Jake voodoo doll and a hammer, and she’s just going to down on that thing.

    They’re advertising some shenanigans tonight, with Luke and Lisa crying at the rose ceremony, and that doesn’t fill me with hope. As an addendum, last night I pretty much gave up on Jarrod and Kiera. Either date or don’t date, but will the pair of you just make up your damn minds? Yeesh.

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  2. Jarrod is pathetically immature for a man of his age. I believe he has had a girlfriend before but it’s easy to see why it didn’t work.

    • How many of the ex girlfriends are buried underneath the vineyard, I’m beginning to wonder? Seen a few 48 Hrs in my time.

      I mean, he got turned on by Keira’s tantrum yesterday.

      But Keira thinks Grant is the ****ing psychopath.

      • Grant missed the job description. It’s fireman not cop. He’s made it his job to bring justice, law and order to Paradise.

        It’s so difficult to describe Jarrod’s issues. I could say it in one word; dork, but it’s more complicated than that. Weirdo? Romantopath. He’s a romantopath.

        • I wonder if you’re onto something, though.

          Maybe there is a bit of Aspergers in Jarrod? I mean, he falls in love within twenty seconds of meeting somebody, he has trouble understanding other people’s feelings. It’s like, every time he meets a beautiful girl, it’s almost as if it’s the first time someone’s ever showed him affection, and he goes overboard responding. I don’t mean to sound judgemental, but it’s a very first-time way of looking at prospective romance. Like every girl he meets is his first girlfriend. He’s a tough nut to crack. Blonde-fetish notwithstanding.

          • You know those big dogs that slobber, that’s Jarrod when he sees a blonde. But yes, he lacks social intuitiveness.

    • While I’m happy that Simone finally got a date, aren’t Kiera and Jarrod just … exhausting? Oh my gosh. How many more episodes is this going to go on for?

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      • I’m still getting over those two scraps of tablecloth they gave Simone to wear for her grand entrance. And her confession that she does not know what a vineyard is.

    • I am not up to it yet, but please Michael and Lisa. Luke and Lisa are too boring together; a non event. Michael brought back her sparkle.

  3. There was a chat with Laurina on some radio show. I didn’t hear it but I was told that she left the show because her brother died a little while back and it was still difficult for her. Apparently there was an exit interview with the fabulous-hair-guy but it’s seems the producers decided not to show it.
    It now all becomes clear.

    • Also Laurina’s brother committed suicide. Not sure they should have her in the show.

      No wonder she was always keeping to herself.

      Off topic, same with Lisa Oldfield. She was admitted to Mosman Private Hospital in early January after her husband and parents intervened.

      The Real Housewife told Confidential she didn’t realise she was treating her anxiety, stemming from a sexual assault in 2016, with booze and pills.

      Just after the rehab, she went into I am a Celebrity. Again, not sure she should be there

  4. They are adults but act like kids. For Nina to say she wish Daniel is still around, blah blah, blah. Why then she didnt give her rose to Daniel?

    • One of the few times in his life that Jarrod wasn’t the person who got dropped.

      It must’ve been a novel feeling … oh, stop that.

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  5. “Slightly” like porn, Simone?

    Jarrod~ “the more I leave her ~ the more she comes back”. Crazy .

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  6. At the moment, I feel like half the cast needs either Sam or Wais to sit down next to them and ask, “What the hell are you doing?!” I feel like I’m annoyed with the entire cast, tonight.

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  7. I know I am mean. Keira turn on the water works when no one want her. She is so self centred like she is God send. Actually she and Dan will make a good pair

      • Given she was ready to jump ship, the second the Canadian sleaze-ball with abs showed up, I’m kind of on Eden’s side as well, to be honest.

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        • Sure, don’t go the full pash in front of everyone but if you’re really keen on him at least give him a sneaky kiss behind a tree. And if even that is against your values, don’t go on a dating show. I can absolutely see why Eden was confused. She knows Eden better than umm – was Richie her Bachie? – and they did the date where they broke the record for the longest kiss atop Sydney Harbour Bridge

          • I think it was with Sam Wood.
            I think Eden must know that Nina wanted Daniel to stay. The boys do talk. Of course Eden wanted some assurance.
            Again there is double standard. Its o.k for her to see whether there are bigger fish around but Eden must stay faithful to her

          • Yeah, the fact she did that date with Richie makes the whole thing even more unsettling.

            And I’m with Littlepetal, I just think that was really unfair to Eden.

      • It looks like it might bite him on the arse though, judging from the promos she isn’t attracted to him. I would love someone to say ‘are you fucking kidding me’ when someone else gets the rose they thought was for them.

  8. Jarrod struts like a peacock and tells everyone in camp about the simulated blow job on the date. He never fails to disappoint!

  9. That last ten minutes was just one long WTF moment.

    Eden starts monologing before giving his rose to the wrong person, and so everybody else starts doing it as well. Gee, it looked like Michael was standing in front of the United Nations or something. I think Sam was *trying* to be the voice of reason, again, but everyone was too far gone.

    So of two of my favourite couples, Luke and Lisa are on rocky grounds, and Nina actually got kicked off the island? Well, that’s me done. I gotta say, though. Nina’s righteous fury at Eden (“I have nothing to say to you”) rings quite hollow, given she was making goo-goo eyes at the sleazy Canadian for the last two episodes. You’re ready to dump him, in the blink of an eye, but the second he gets hesitant about you, he’s the badguy? That rings hollow, to me.

    At least we still have Tara and Sam? Hopefully?

    Oh, and on Sunday, Apollo finally shows up and takes his shirt off. About frickin’ time. Interestingly enough, the preview shows Simone and Elora getting into a fight over Apollo. I can’t blame them, but that means Simone has quickly dumped Jarrod and moved on. Oh, Jarrod.

    If the season ends and Kiera/Jarrod are the two who get engaged, I’m gonna be so mad.

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    • Well according to one of the magazines Keira & Jarrod did become an item, so will be interesting to see if that’s the case. They are both as bad as each other. Someone new comes in, one gets all googly eyed, the other gets jealous. Then the same happens with the other one.

  10. Even if Keira and Jarrod get engaged, its not going to last. Keira just want exposure. That all she does. Just like being talk about on SM, getting her photos on Daily Mail. Its not paradise at the vineyard. Keira would not lift a finger.

    • It was like a whole lot of like waffle about him “selling out” so far like with his conferring of like roses. The like new Michael is giving them to those he really fancies. Like.

  11. I was egging Michael on to pick Lisa. She is lovely and deserves better than grandpa snoozing his way through. That girl needs some passion and if Luke was really into her, he would have come out with better words than, “If someone else walks in”. Lisa doesn’t seem dumb, so I am guessing she read Lukewarm accurately. Team Michael and Lisa. Lukewarm couldn’t boil an egg. Good on Michael going for the prize. He might as well.

    And Keira got her miracle.

    • Agree Luke is so boring. Daisy, its good that you didn’t watch Sam Frost season. Michael Turnbull copped hell on that show. So I guess many viewers already have an opinion on Michael. Whereas you just see him as what he is on the show.

      I think he will benefit from the show. He comes across as a nice person

      • Yes, Littlepetal, I don’t know him but all Lukewarm and Lisa together were doing was sitting (as I said) like the King and Queen of Fiji, with their minions around them. I hope Michael has finally at least given her some story. If she goes back to boring Lukewarm, he should at least have to get up off his cushion and fight for her.

  12. You know I am seeing in Keira, someone who knows youth and beauty are slipping away from her and it’s a bit sad. 😭😭😭😭 I chose her to stay over Nina. She’s outrageous and she’s bad, but she knows it.

    • You are kind, Daisy. Keira is so insecure that she spend time and money to alter her look. Need a miracle to do wonder. Sometimes you don’t need to be drop dead gorgeous but beauty can radiate from within. Keira just think she is drop dead gorgeous.

      • True, true, Littlepetal. She had better work on her inner beauty because unless she gets Jane Fonda’s cosmetic surgeon, who is a miracle worker, her star is fading. I won’t be as harsh as the US Daniel who had a brutal expression, “Stale bread”. Now that is too mean.
        I think she has done a pretty good job getting the gigs though, and that’s because she plays the baddie. Like the American Daniel got this gig.

      • I put my hand up as someone who spends money on “procedures”.
        I acknowledge that it is from insecurity but it is based on personal experience.
        I particularly remember starting a new job at Optus – which was an organisation filled with young people and gays (their Xmas party was the only second to the Mardi Gras) – walking into a meeting and being completely ignored. In a nano second, they looked, sized me up and then dismissed me. Ouch.
        It’s a shock when that attention you get as a pretty-young-thang, starts to fade.
        I get Kiera. I see an air of desperation about her as her chances for a partner/family/tvcareer gently disappear as she ages.

        • I totally get that. Luckily I am in a job where I don’t want promotion and the kids don’t care if I am old, but for a woman, life changes as you get old. I read somewhere that you become invisible.

          I was invited last year to go to a pub concert with a friend. It was the first time I had been to a pub in decades. It felt weird that no guys were hitting on me or eyeballing me. 😂😂😂😂 No because you are an old lady now. It was only being back in that environment that made me think, “No one is hitting on me”. So that made me relate to Keira.
          Kudos to you getting some work done Bobi. I well understand you getting it for work. (Watch the tv series Younger). I also understand it doesn’t necessarily =confidence because I have seen women have it done and who are still lacking. I just enter a room like I am Ali. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • Reading that gives her a bit of welcome context, and actually makes me feel quite bad for her. Talk about a rough couple of years. In her position, I probably also would’ve been thinking, “stress-free holiday in Fiji, sounds like a great distraction”.

      As long as she’s happy now, that’s all that matters.

  13. Interesting that Luke chose Keira over Nina. So with all her nonsense, it seems she was still more well liked. The hug Luke gave her was genuine.

    • You are spot on here Sara.
      Am not seeing much love here just schoolies on a field trip in Fiji.
      Sam and Weis are the voice of reason here. It’s interesting to see how alcohol changes all their personalities.

  14. Someone annoyed me so I just called them a “peasant”. I blame Kiera for that, but it’s just such a great thing to throw at someone who’s being a tool.

  15. I loved that we listened to Simone talking about how she’s looking for a “real manly kind of guy” … and the dramatic music quells, and we cut to Apollo walking up the path.

    • Simone will need some muscle to protect her in some of the fights she picks. Plenty of British Bulldog in her. Fetch Apollo’s stick.

      Keira and Simone are letting it all hang out tonight.

  16. Just crossed over from mkr and the first phrase uttered I’m not even sure who by is “do you stink” then “ that’s gnarley”

    • He was coming on a little strong, but I think he’s run out of people to give him roses. Maybe Simone will give her rose to Apollo, and Elora will rose Eden by default? That’s the only way I see him sticking around.

  17. Apollo shows up, and as predicted, everything gets a thousand times more awesome. I loved how happy his fellow Sophie-Monk-bachelors were to see him, and it was kind cool seeing them all catch Apollo up on proceedings. I also loved the moment with Michael staring meaningfully into Apollo’s eyes, but that hardly counts, I mean, Apollo could easily turn somebody.

    I loved Elora using Wais in her shenanigans to get alone time with Apollo. I also loved how, when Simone told her that Apollo had already asked Simone on a date, you could see the exact moment in Elora’s eyes where she was thinking, “Where can I hide a body, around here?”

    Sam and Tara continue to be utterly adorable. It’s a weird relationship (they had a whole conversation about who makes the other pee more when they laugh), but it seems to be working. So I guess, more power to them.

    I’m not quite as forgiving of Luke, for last episode, as Lisa apparently is, but I did like the moment where he shrugged off Michael’s crush on Lisa with, “Who wouldn’t want to get to know you?” Whatever you’re doing, Luke, keep doing exactly that.

    And we also cut to Kiera and Jarrod, episode 400.

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  18. That was a fun episode tonight. The claws were out. Paws and claws.
    So do we have a team? Simone or Elora. I will go team Elora mainly because Simone seems so fake with all that laughing and little girl act..
    The elephants in the room were Elora’s bum, and Keira’s side boob hanging out. It has seen better days.
    Out of Luke and Michael, I am still team Michael. Luke just seems ready for the pipe and slippers.

      • Simone was described by childlike which is a euphemism for not so bright. I am mesmerised by her constantly being on the verge of a wardrobe malfunction

        • I know, right? The wardrobe department seems quite obsessed with showing Simone off. I suppose she’s in Fiji, so at least she’ll get a nice tan.

      • There’s fresh meat and then there’s uncovered meat a la Simone. Plus Simone arcs up like a feral kitten at the drop of a hat.

        Even after being rejected on the date with Elora , Eden had his hand on her inner knee at the bar. Fail. Kissing is so mainstream….what? So smear some food on the object of your desire.

        Luke is the Eric Forrester of Paradise. I’d like Lisa to dump him.

        Hard to pick a team. American Jared is okay, so far.

        • Luke: Eric Forrester for sitting back and being sage. Jed Clampett in looks.

          When I referred to teams, I was meant out of the ones fighting over a rose. If it’s a favourite person, I am probably team Lisa when she’s not attached to Grandpa Lukewarm. She’s a sedate girl so she needs someone with more life. When Luke and Lisa are together, there is barely a pulse between them. And besides, combining their names still comes out as Luke or Lisa.

          • Yes, I know what you meant, daisy. My name’s not Jarrod.

            I can’t decide between Elora and Simone. One’s got a big arse and the other a big mouth. I’m not getting a spark.

            But my favourite is Lisa and she’s wasting her life on Eric “Lukewarm” Forrester. Certainly got some Jed Clampett in him.

          • At least the original Jed Clampett could dance. This one is as interesting as beige wallpaper. I think YOU should get a rose from Lisa, Lisa sad Lisa, Lisa Dave.

  19. Speaking of not being in Fiji (see that segway), it was 31 degrees here on Friday, and 15 degrees today. Straya.
    Winter arrived suddenly and I am not coping.

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