MKR starts tonight

Here we go again: Another season of My Kitchen Rules starts tonight.
Will Manu be in purple velvet and Pete in blue?
How many seconds in before we want to slap someone?
And how many minutes before someone says “oh, I don’t eat that”? Or “this is the first time we’ve tried making this?”.
Have they kept the four boring judges?

HERE WE GO
Uh oh – I failed to set the recorder so I tune in just as “Recently Engaged” Stacey and Ash from Byron Bay finish their decorating and start to cook. Perhaps this is a good thing.
I sneak a peek at Twitter and, darn it, no purple velvet jacket for Manu.

Dessert is chocolate avo mousse and they are serving it in jars. It’s a bit 2012.
Entree is tuna tartare served with wasabi mayo. Hmm – will it overwhelm the tuna? Surely there will be one guest who say “I don’t like food/seafood/raw food/food – I’m just here to increase my Insta followers”. It’s smart to serve a cold entree – much less fussing about with cooking times.
Main is salmon with a miso glaze.

The guests arrive and most hook in to the champers. Brunette sibling from school of hard knocks is “scared” of seafood. There’s always one! .
We also meet the Noosa flight attendants and a Perth couple whose package is all about the husband’s objectification of his Latina wife. Ick.
The two brothers say they were home schooled and are born again Christians. Let’s hope their “American comfort food” is more delicious than it sounds. Ibby and Romel “met on the Sydney social scene” and Lebanese background Ibby wisely hides from the others that he owns three restaurants. I’m expecting good confessionals from Romel – and the name of a good plastic surgeon.
Short-haired Christian bro is doing a running bitchy commentary as the Peruvian friends talk about their food culture. Rude! Doesn’t he know all snark should be confined to online commentary?

The judges arrive and Manu is jotbwearing socks!!! It’s Byron, Manu – just go barefoot and you’ll fit right in.

Eee iz suckless!

Time for first course and the tartare looks pretty, with a cracker “sail”. But they’ve done the mayo as a smear – isn’t it all about blobs these days?
The Peruvians aren’t impressed by the chunkiness of the fish and the “sad” coriander.

THE JUDGES SAY
Pete says it’s a really good start with good presentation but there was not enough wasabi. Manu likes it, also, and gives them some constructive criticism.
Mick and pink-haired Jodie-Anne from a small country town are very complimentary but the snarky bros are playing their villain roles to the hilt – you can tell they are going to bag out everything. At least the Peruvian lady is specific about how the dish could be improved.
I’m pleased to see the non-seafood eating lady actually eat her tuna – well done, you – all is forgiven.

MAIN COURSE
It’s miso salmon with black rice and pickled radish.

Back at the table Devil Josh is being a dick and everyone else wishes they could score him a zero right now.

Serial killers vibes from both.


(On the MKR website the brothers are described as “brutally honest”. Which is usually how rude people try to justify their behaviour.
And then Romel slips up and refers to Ibby owning a “resta-… ummm” and changes the subject. Yeah, no one noticed, boys – except the whole table.
Ash is freaking out a little in the kitchen because of the number of salmon fillets he has to cook. When was the last time we saw a four-burner upright cooker on MKR? No flash six-burner stainless steel and double ovens here.

THE JUDGES SAY
The main is not as pretty as the entree but they at least know enough to do lemon cheeks instead of wedges. They have sprinkled the black rice salad with toasted nuts and seeds.
Manu loves it and says the flavours are complementary but a little olive oil would not have gone astray. Pete says it’s an improvement from entree but he got a small salmon fillet, so it was more cooked. He reminds the couple that – der – they should give him and Manu the best serve.

DESSERT
Stacey is making a praline to go with the choc mousse and it’s not working. That’s because your caramel is as blonde as you, Stacey!
At the table everyone is playing the first impressions game and Dick Josh takes it too far with jokes about mail order brides, referring to Karito and “gay version” Ibby. (Some googling reveals both brothers are actors and were planning to try their luck in the US before they were cast on MKR. Explains a lot.)

Attempt No. 2 of the praline sees them actually heat the sugar enough to caramelise it, although it still does not look properly stirred through.

THE JUDGES SAY
Pete usually likes choc avo mousse but it’s too dense and lacks sweetness. Manu isn’t sure the praline goes. Pete: “It was a valiant effort”. Ouch! Still they were first cab off the rank.
I’m liking Karito of the plunging neckline from WA via Columbia – she kept her cool when the bros called her a mail order bride and she seems to look for the positive in each dish.

TEAM SCORE
Pink hair: 6
Karito: 6
Bro and sis: 6
Gay socialites: 3 (Ooh! They mean business. The judges will be far kinder)
Noosa Hosties: 6
Peruvians: 5
Evil bros: 6
Total: 38/70

JUDGES
Entree: Pete 6 Manu 7
Main: Manu 7 Pete 7
Dessert: Pete 3 (seems generous – any later in the comp and Pete would go a 1) Manu 3
Total: 71

Stacey and Ash take it all with good grace and the score should be enough to keep them in a comp.

TOMORROW NIGHT
The brother and sister cook. What’s the dish they do that has “never been served before”? I hope they do well. They seems far more chilled than most of the teams.

Amanda and Blake.



Facebooktwitterredditmail

73 Comments

    • Von I hope for the best but fear the worst. I will watch for a while, anyway. I fear they will keep ramping up the drama until someone draped in an Aussie flag makes racist slurs at another contestant while both try to make soufflé for the first time on a barbecue

  1. My New Year’s resolution is NOT to be sucked in by manipulative editing, and NOT to assume that a promoted segment will pan out that way until I actually see it. At least this year’s season won’t be as drawn out as last year (Winter Olympics etc).

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
  2. How long before the death threats start for ageist Josh and the supine maggot sitting next to him? Children of missionaries? Glad I’m an atheist. Ten years of degenerate shit. Recycled IVF dreams again. Vomit. Same as it ever was , not even 25 mins in.

    Off to MAFS.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
      • Oh they do though, don’t they? That’s it exactly.

        Particularly the long-haired one, he just screams Unsub Of The Week. While his brother is the one who lures in victims and then provides an alibi.

  3. Well the home schoolers seem to have forgotten that at some stage, everyone they are hurling insults at will be eating their food! I did LOL at the Andy and Ruby comment.
    Multi-tasking my way through so far, same old, same old + 10 years

  4. Twenty minutes in and I have had enough of the kissy-face, sweetums palaver from the young blonde couple. But they seem pleasant enough.

    Impressions of the food – the avocado chocolate mousse piped into the containers makes it look like something the dog presented.

    Their black rice looks gluggy. He cooked a whole bag of it in a comparatively small pot.

    I’m in a critical mood.

    • Instead of piping into containers the avocado dog turds could have been presented on dispose of safely doggie do bags you get from the local park.

  5. I wasn’t terribly impressed either. Obviously the brother-sister team have been cast to be the team the audience cheers for … and once again, channel 7 have found people that are either (a) so lacking in self-awareness that they shouldn’t be able to function as adults in any capacity, or (b) fame-whores thinking that being assholes on national television is a great career move.

    Same old manipulative rubbish from MKR. Great.

    I was also shocked to see that plastic-face-itis is actually contagious, and it’s actually spreading from MAFS to a whole ‘nother network. Also, I missed the first half an hour, so did they address the elephant in the living room? I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from inquiring about Ash’s eye, I’m sure there’d be a story in there somewhere.

  6. Re the vote – didn’t need to wash my hair, but had a wonderful time playing computer games with kids. I need several days to switch out of sport mode. No tennis and a BBL replay made it feel like nothing was on TV.

  7. And here we go again…. another 3 months of the Titanic sinking has begun!

    Tuned in hoping for the best… started poorly.. the new MKR kitchen didn’t do it for me!

    Then I thought somehow I was watching the wrong show, and thought I was watching My Playboy Playmate Rules for a moment, but no it’s the year of the exposed cleavage.

    After a few more minutes again I thought I was watching some other show whereby Frasier’s Ex-wife was mascarading as a Peruvian Food Blogger…. then realised no still was MKR. Hot tip Peruvian’s if Maeve O’Meara couldn’t put Peruvian food on the map here via Food Safari I doubt the two of you will!

    And yes then there is the big elephant in the room! The 2 sociopaths… serial killers definitely written all over them! The older of the two is definitely going to be stalking Plastic Peruvian (his comment over she was the good looking one who brought a friend to make herself look prettier…. good looking.. I don’t think so), probably thinking of what latex attire he can make from her body parts.

    I’m not super religious myself but if I’m the head of whatever church they claim to be from (born again Christian’s?? Is that when the devil finally takes over?) I’m revoking their membership.. because after last night they’re surely taking a dip in membership.

    Now onto the hosts…. friendly pirate should not be wasting any of his good luck chips in the MKR stakes… he’s scored big time with his lovely lady and if I were him I would’ve counted my blessing with that. Can’t warm to him at all. Sadly they can’t really cook either.

    Brother and Sister have come in with the right attitude it seems… take it as a bit of a piss-take and see what happens! Finalists bound for sure.

    Are the gay dudes a couple? Not sure… but awaiting the fights between those two and the sociopath’s at some point.

    And to end my comment… Pete and Manu just look bored… I suspect them not getting the menu’s any longer has been introduced to reduce the need to have them on set any moment longer than needed.. also to at least keep them guessing what turds they’ll be served up.

    • “born again Christian’s?? Is that when the devil finally takes over”

      No, but it doesn’t surprise me that, when they introduced their wider family, they mentioned that their mother was American. Being “born again Christians”, with that terminology, it’s a very American way of phrasing it. I would imagine she’s southern Baptist or something. I grew up in a religious family (I know), I went to a religious high school (yeah, I know), so I’m very familiar with this world.

      If they’re genuine (and it’s not a gigantic act, just to get their name in magazines?), then they’re gonna be the guys who treat people like crap but justify it, “because we believe in God, so it’s okay”. The home-schooling would also indicate that they’re not used to dealing with other people, and because of their age, I would imagine they’re quite socially immature.

      But that’s why 7 picked them, they wanted villains (who get their eventual comeuppance in the promos) and that’s what they’ve got in these two.

      • The mother is not just American, she’s “full-blooded” American, whatever that is. She didn’t look Native American. The Peruvian women are American, too, but I doubt the nasty boys would understand that.

        Some of the smirking glances exchanged between the born again brothers is editing, but when they spoke, nearly everything out of their mouths was mean-spirited and rude. They need to go back to their home school and study up on what it means to be a Christian, born again or otherwise. Even Jesus would have given those supercilious asswipes a smack up the side of the head.

  8. The quiet villains are Ibby and Romel. They know exactly how the show works. Gave the lowest score. Know what to say at the right time. In it to win.

    Manu said Josh and Austin have no filters, more like knowing what to say to stir the pot. Could be acting. Don’t think they are there to win.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
  9. They are doing things differently, this year, aren’t they? The guests all get the menu before arriving, while Pete and Manu don’t, and the hosts set up their instant restaurant first thing in the morning before setting out for the day. I guess this makes it easier, time-wise.

    I think the siblings seem like one of the only likeable, well-adjusted teams that channel 7 was able to find, this year. Even if the brother wears long t-shirts that make it look like he’s wearing a nightie. Dude, just not attractive.

  10. “Before we came into the restaurant tonight, Austin and I had the idea that we were going to be attacked.”

    Well maybe you shouldn’t have been such gigantic assholes last night, then. Maybe that would’ve been a great idea?

    • Those 2 seem to make those remarks on purpose. Its so obvious these 2 are acting. As if you start eating before the cameramen said so.

  11. I had to watch some 8 Out 10 Cats on ABC first to prepare me mentally for the horror of MKR’s odious contestants…. just started. Menu sounds yum. Surprised no one has done croc before. They are smart keeping their dessert name so mysterious – that way they can’t bag you out if you leave off a mentioned ingredient

  12. I just can’t do it, this year. I think I lost interest about halfway through? I’m looking ahead, and all I can see is another 6 episodes, which will be nothing more than two hours of…

    Everybody: Josh and Austin, you’re such assholes.
    Josh and Austin: No you are!

    I just can’t. I just can’t.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
    • That is how I feel, too, Windsong. Josh and Austin are too aggravating, too early in the season; I don’t think I can watch however many more weeks of that asshole’s smirk. But, I will try to watch the night they cook, hoping all their courses fail, so that their score is the lowest in MKR history.

      I don’t think the producers realised how much the horrid duo from last season put viewers off. The nasty brothers are reinforcing that lack of judgment. It seems to me I could usually enjoy, or at least watch, the first few episodes before I got a hate on for any contestant.

      And, and, sister should pull her damned hair back while she’s cooking and stop touching it. Brother should take his frigging hat off at the table. Peruvian woman should stop criticising a dish before she has tasted it.

      And Pete, don’t use modifiers with “unique”. Bozo.

    • That;s exactly where I got to last year Windsong. I just couldn’t face it. Nothing made me regret the decision. I will pop in here occasionally for the snark, but I feel much better not sullying myself with their over-hyped over-botoxed and under-cooked rubbish. I can barely remember the good times now and that’s not good when it was so much fun initially and it was enjoyable to watch people cook.

      Users who have LIKED this comment:

      • avatar
    • So based on that we can assume the brothers have had extensive training from professional chefs prior and during the filming as part of ‘their agreement’ to participate. Fantastic. I think I’ll skip this round and wait for the next batch of teams.

    • His brother plays fortnight? Enough said. So you get chosen to be on a reality TV show that has been going for 10 years and you don’t spend the months beforehand googling and researching everything about it like crazy? OK

      Users who have LIKED this comment:

      • avatar
  13. Could tell they weren’t much chop as cooks (evil twins) as during their intro segment at home they were serving a pie to their folks and the thickness of the pastry indicated complete lack of baking prowess.

    Still surprised at all the hoo ha of last years cr@p that we had to endure that a producer of the show headhunted this twat to sign up.. with no bloody cooking experience or knowledge of what the show was.

    I get that MKR does not advertise itself as having the best “amata” cooks in the country but it’s now only about the food in the finals.. the rest is a game show crossed with the Kardashians, Real housewives, etc etc.

    And to finish off.. was a bit disappointed in the siblings menu… was really expecting more (egg on toast thing seen done hundreds of times and much better)… and I wouldn’t have eaten the pork either (hate pork)… this whole rubbish about it being a cooking competition and you need to try everything… most people have a good handful of foods they do not like (this is ascertained due to having have tried them before)! 30% of people hate coriander because to them it tastes like soap (I’m one of them)… fact is.. people have different tastes and there is a risk that whatever dish you make someone won’t like a component of it.

  14. Would not touch any food from that brother’s food truck, if he winds up having one, and I think if the teams saw what he did in the kitchen they would have pushed some of the food aside uneaten.
    Tastes the pomegranate sauce and then puts the spoon over the sauce and shakes it out. YUCK! Does the same thing with the molasses but at least that molasses wasn’t served.
    Contestants need to be instructed regarding hygienic kitchen practices but then nothing really changes on MKR when it comes to hygiene.
    Can’t believe a producer wanted the rude born again on the program but then guess it was thought that he would add some drama and additional interest to the show. Instead he is a total turn off.

  15. I wish my Coles was like the ones where these contestants shop. There is never anyone else in the store, and all the shelves are fully stocked. The fruit and vegetables aisle does looke similar; we have a very hard working veggie man who keeps everything arranged so nothing looks picked over and thrown aside.

    Karito makes it hard to ignore her breasts, because they are usually only loosely contained in her shirt. If she’s comfortable with that, fine. But what is with the camera focusing on her butt while they were setting up? Don’t make anyones butt the focal point of a shot, MKR, you pigs. This is not a cute ass competition.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
    • I watched some of it tonight. What is wrong with me? 🙂

      Mostly I saw the cooking bits. At the table there was much comment about the man being under the thumb blah blah blah. It seemed like all the contestants wanted to be judgmental and snarky, and that’s when I went to wash my hair.

      How did they score?

  16. I am just picky.
    1. Waiting to open the pressure cooker. You can do a quick release by turning the valve. Done for drama.

    2. When they opened the cover of the pressure cooker, it was filled to the brim. They opening of the cover must be just some acting scene. No way you can use pressure cooker with liquid up to the top.

    3. When she freaked out about no salt in the rice, the rice was not even cooked and still have water in it. Why can she just add the salt in.

    Does anyone put salt in the rice??

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
  17. When will MKR teams learn that if you bring along a partner (usually spouse) that has no ability in the kitchen whatsoever you will fail. Last nights pair of Miss Side Boob and Dumb & Dumberer (sorry can’t be bothered atm learning all their names) were a ticking time bomb…. had to prepare themselves with the good ole masterchef Nonna trick.

    So far the only 2 teams I can warm too are the Air Hosties and Pink with Husband, the rest are just irritating and I’m finding Talent Agent with his Mail Order husband more annoying than the Born Agains.

    Unfortunately it appears there will be a sudden death cook off for the final two teams in these restaurant rounds (drag it out much 7) as Pete did say don’t worry you will get another chance to cook….

    Hopefully can re-energise until Sunday and get the mojo back to watch, at least it does appear we get some decent cooking coming our way.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
    • It’s interesting you mentinoed that about the Talent Agent and his Mail Order Husband, because the Born Agains did an interview in the Courier Mail this morning where they said that those two also did and said a lot of really sketchy, awful things (including stalking the other contestants off-camera) that didn’t make it to air.

      Of course the Born Agains would try to paint someone else as a villain … but I can kind of see it, though, because the other two do seem sketchy.

    • I have mentioned before Ibby and Romel are the silent villains. They knew exactly how to act and what to say in front of the camera.
      Owning a restaurant and 2 cafes doesn’t mean he is a chef. But he does know about food and how a kitchen run. As usual, I don’t think MKR will ‘allow’ them to win if they can actually cook.

      I guess they and the Peruvians may get some 10s based on the promo for next week.

  18. I waited all night for the “something we have never before seen on MKR” and nothing happened. They seemed to be desperately trying to make a big thing out of the guy owning a restaurant, but they failed. All the contestants just said so what as long as you’re not the head chef who cares.

  19. Finally….. after all these years, I know someone who knows the Peruvian pair. Yes they are great cooks. Lady I work with knows them well from time living in Brisbane. She is Colombian – makes a mean empanada 😉 Unfortunately my “six degrees..etc” link has probably come too late. I’m struggling to watch – even multi-tasking, it’s just not holding my interest.

    • Best to not watch when it’s aired but record so you can fast forward through most of it. They’ve changed the menu readings, elimination process for Instant Restaurant round and MKR headquarters but didn’t change the most important things: the types of contestants they choose and the judges.

      Users who have LIKED this comment:

      • avatar
  20. If anyone’s interested, I think Blake’s hat is a Ron-Howard situation. Who magazine just posted a picture of Blake hatless and it looks like he has something of a severely receding hairline. Which is a bit rough ’cause the kid looks like he’s barely in his 20s.

    I think that’s the hat mystery explained.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *