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  1. So when Matthew and Lauren walked into the honeymoon suite at the winery (which looked like a lovely, romantic location), I nearly fell off the chair. The show’s producers had done everything except play an X-rated movie on the TV and lay out condoms and handcuffs on the bed … but Matthew still didn’t quite get it, did he?

    Meanwhile, Ines continues to be the gigantic asshole that nobody needed, yet, here we are.

  2. Tonight is the honeymoon part two. Elizabeth has taken herself to bed as her husband has abandoned her for an ex. The producers feel ripped off as there is no mileage to be had by her casting other than repeated shots of her putting on make-up.

    Matthew has friend zoned Loz. The mere suggestion they share a bath has Matthew developing stomach cramps. Actually sharing a bath tub (in swim suits) results in Matthew spending the night in the ED/ER.

    Matthew needs to be honest with himself and stop treating Lauren as a therapy tool.

    Ines only wants to know one thing, ” Would you root me?” she demands of Bronson over and over again. This of course after she has compared his morning routine to a 12 year old girl doing gymnastics, the yellow teletubby, screamed at him during the pre designated activity that she wants to decompose and de-stress and she not feeling it mentally, emotionally and spirituality. Bronson retaliates by telling her as a human you are a horrible person and no wonder that you are single.

    Martha and Michael are bland. Martha complains that going in the pool makes her look like a wet dog and runs her mascara. She lists all the cosmetic procedures she has had. Michael on the other hand just wants to kiss her.

    • Oh my. I don’t watch this show and can’t quite believe it is as bad as this!! But from everyone’s comments – it is clear that it is truly terrible.
      The recap was fabulous Juz – I may have to watch now, lol. Or I may Stay True to Myself as I am doing for MKR and just read the recaps!

  3. Ines is actually in court, in Brisbane, at the moment. She was allegedly drink driving over the Christmas period.

    What a stand-up gal. Gosh, any man would be lucky to have her.

      • Who wouldn’t want to spend their lives shackled to somebody who *constantly* humiliates, abuses and screams “Shut the fuck up!” at them?

        She’s just an abuser. Channel 9 should hang their heads in shame over giving this deplorable piece of trash national exposure, and yet, I bet they don’t.

        • Ines and her whipping boy will get the most airtime as he does upside-down splits in very revealing pants and she puts his meatballs through the mince-grinder. I can’t blame her for keeping her eyes on her phone while Whats-his name demonstrates what he does for a living….nude. Yes people, that’s what’s going on there. He said he strips nude, he can stand on his head. You just need to join the dots. We have all be distracted by how awful Ines is that the gymnastic stripper has flown under the radar. He must have quite a show.

          • I saw that footage on Instagram.

            My gosh, if Bronson was doing barely-dressed handstands in front of me, I wouldn’t be texting on my phone, I tell you that. Too shallow?

  4. So far, I think Michael seems quite nice, but the red flags are up with Martha. Mind you, she might have been prompted to tell him she didn’t like his hair, which btw, I think enhances his looks. I like it. I’m not a fan of the whole, “I need an hour to get ready”. 20 mins for shower, teeth, clothes and make-up. A bit more if you need to impress, but not an hour. 15 minutes for home and less for beach or pool.

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