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  1. I don’t know why the show keeps trying to get us invested in Mike and Heidi. He’s a dick, and Heidi’s just unhinged. I don’t care about either of them.

    • Mike “We had great chemistry” {while we were shagging) “Beautiful journey” (while we were shagging)

      Too bad for Mike you can’t be tattooed with sincerity.

    • She’s being kind. That’s a compliment. I thing she’s an uncontrollable, barking rottweiler, as was previously posted by someone. She needs to eat some raw dough so she can’t speak.
      But she’d be great cheering for her footy team.

    • Did you notice how Michael wasn’t even allowed to clap for Nic, when the two got up?

      I cannot, with Martha. I just cannot.

      • And that’s probably what Michael’s parents are saying. The dynamics I see is that Martha was the school Queen Bee. Jessica is the wingman who thinks she’s top dog but it’s actually Martha who sits on the throne. Cyrell might be reliving never being allowed into the mean girl group. Perhaps she was bullied by them in school so she is channelling school days. Or days in a trough.

          • As abrasive as she is, I find myself siding with Cyrell just because she’s the lesser of two evils.

            Although the girl does need professional help, but Martha and Jess are just … eugh. And Suzie’s a classic abuser.

  2. Brook’s back from the jungle. She brought Donkey Kong with her and it’s on. “No one kisses my husband, in my living room”.

  3. This is so messed up. Ines and Elizabeth on a couch having to defend each other and counsel each other.

    According the s-experts they get to go away with life lessons. Hello, let’s talk about gaslighting and the emotional abuse dealt out by Sam.

  4. OMG Elizabeth looks terrible. She looks ssoooo much better with her current brunette photos. This finale must’ve been so awkward for them. So happy for Cam and Jules. Hate the plastics. But they’ll all be forgotten by tomoro when Bachie in Paradise starts and we’ll all be like Jessika who?

  5. Whenever Mike volunteers his opinion, does anyone else quickly change the channel and see what’s happening on MKR?

    I think he’s slightly less evil, than Sam, but he’s still a gigantic dick.

  6. The s-expert Melissa pretends to be shocked by the lack of sista-hood.

    Martha scrambles to take the high moral ground over Jules. Martha and Jessika think that it is a generational difference. Because five years is such a generational divide isn’t Martha.

    Mike, Mike, Mike keep your mouth shut.

  7. Melissa tells the ladies “…don’t compete with one another…. allow others to shine.” The tears of laughter are streaming down my face. Too funny.

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  8. And WHY is the show making the contestants watch this? I’d never go on this show! It’d be like torture. Unless you’re one of the 1% who last!

    • To be fair, keeping Jess the hell away from his son might just make him an excellent father.

      Unless Jess was counting all those times when *she* was the one calling out, “Daddy!”

  9. I am watching Aircraft Investigations atm. It’s a clean kill compared to mafs.

    (Hi Bella 😄)

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  10. Cyrell has the line of night comparing Jessika’s legs to 7-11 …opened 24 hours a day.

    They showed the clip of Jess trying to pick up Nic and she straight out denies it. She is mad, bad and dangerous to know.

  11. “Taking the piss away from people who aren’t here for the right reasons”

    Ch 9 should have taken the piss away from this lot a long,long time ago.

    “Right reasons”? Whatever they are. Who the hell had those , except for the shattered virgin, maybe?

  12. Dan on watching tonight’s episode: “Re-scratch those feelings.”

    Gice, watch Talking Married afterwards. Think Dan and Jess are over once the cameras stop rolling.

    • Dan’s got a silver tongue, doesn’t he? How could his phone scam ever go arse up?

      Dan had a light bulb moment when he said he felt like a piece of shit. Yes, I’m on to Talking Married now.

  13. We missed the first 30 mins. Was it just Michael and Martha? Were Dino, Lauren and Matthew there? Every time
    Mike spoke It was another nail in his coffin. I am going to have to watch Project Runway to calm down

    • Lotta ads on Talking Married but worth it for duped Dan and Jess’s “session”

      Great seeing a con artist get conned.

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  14. The reunion show was filmed in January. Now I need a “where are they NOW?” show to find out what has happened with them all – now the whole series has run and they have seen it (assuming they watched it!).
    Did Mark & Ning rekindle their relationship? Did Mick or Tamara find someone else? Are Mike & Heidi still crazy?

    • Lizzie’s a brunette now and will be hard to recognize in public. No safe house required for her. I guess Mark was pissed off with the Vegan protest yesterday. Others are putting their “life lessons” to the sword …like making fart videos for your loved one.

      And don’t tell me Jess won’t end up on a show like Bitch In Paradise or whatever. Homewrecker And Away etc.

      • I don’t know. I just have this weird feeling they’ll all fade into obscurity sooner, rather than later. Particularly in a RTV environment that encourages people to act like this, so the current ones will always get quickly replaced. I guess that’s karma at work.

        To paraphrase a quote from Game of Thrones. “Martha and Jess, your names will disappear. Your lips will disappear. All memory of you will disappear.”

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        • Eventually they will fade away.. but Channel 9 will attempt to ride out as much $$$ possible… also some of these “guinea pigs” are still craving more spotlight and will happily be further manipulated into improving the bottom line. As a reality show contestant at 9 – you are locked into a contract with them for 12 months after the last airing date of the show you were on….

          Also Martha and Jess wanted to do a show together like the Hilton girls did…

          Jess and Dan were going to make a porn film… although technically I’m sure with all the romping footage already taken during MAFS that didn’t air I’m sure there’s enough to make a decent porn flick.

          Mike is going to host the Aussie version of Dr Phil (initially was going to host revamped Mass For You at Home!

          Cyrell will be host of Aussie Jerry Springer.

          Elizabeth will be hosting Aussie Ricky Lake.

          Cam and Jules will be hosting the new series of Perfect Match whilst concealing their break-up for a few seasons.

          Ning will be doing a lifestyle cooking type show, featuring Asian cuisines and food to feed a hungry family of kids.

          Mark and Mick will be reviving the Leyland Brothers.

          Billy’s been invited to be one of the aerobicists on Aerobics Oz style.

          Susie has been hired by an NRL team as morale officer.

          Dan – Prisoner Cell Block no IQ.

          Ines – Nine’s new CEO.

          The rest will fade away me thinks………….

          • If Elizabeth removes her make up, she will be able to walk around unrecognized. In fact, even if she called out, “I’m Elizabeth, the nutty woman from mafs”, no one will believe her. I think that Nightmare on Elm Street look might have been for the show.
            Maybe their lip filler might outlast their fame.

    • Oh yes, Liberty. I can so see that happening. He’s watchable. BTW, I read that the “shaved” hair on top of his head…..tattoo. He actually has a very old man baldy…..side hair. Like Dr Phil.

  15. Just discovered one reason Cyrell was so full on: she’s a smoker. Probably having nicotine withdrawal during those dinner parties. Way to go, MAFS casters, pairing her with a cancer survivor!

    • I know the difference between Shakespeare and $hitspeare.

      Tell me people will be watching dramatisations of MAFS episodes in 500 years.

    • Ah, these reality TV relationships. It’s always such a shock when they don’t work out, isn’t it?

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  16. As much as I disliked the two of them… Jessika without realising it has dodged a huge bullet…. she’s still mid 20’s and has a chance to get some maturity… doubt it.. but there is still hope. For Dan, learning to pick up the soap in the showers is what he should be focused on right now.

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