The Bachelor – Wed, Aug 3

Just a brief recap from me tonight, gice. Make sure you check out Rosie Waterland’s hilarious recaps on her Facebook page or at mamamia.com.au

The single date goes to Megan, the WA blondie who we know from recent news stories was a brunette when she got married at 18 and divorced at 22, and had what she said was a sheltered upbringing due to being raised in a strict church family (I’m thinking Mormons).
She and Richie are going to dangle off a cliff in some chair and crane contraption, but it’s ok – they’re wearing matching safety chambray shirts. I love how all the Bachies and contestants talk as though the Bachies arrange the dates themselves.


Back at the house the group date card arrives and Mean Girl Rachael is not happy to get an invite because she doesn’t like sharing. White rose holder Alex is on there, too, as are Nikki who flashed everyone in the shiny green dress last week, feisty Russian Sasha, Keira, the elegant yet unknown Marja (there’s an article about her acting career here, Cinderella Janey, model Kiki, Tolyna, Bacon Girl, Planker Tiffany and Sophie, who’s had the least airtime after perhaps Tolyna and Marja.
On the single date, Richie and Megan move from a couch over the ocean to a couch in some tropical Asian-style villa. Megan says some deeper than usual, intense things about wanting a partner who shows graciousness to others. It’s enough to make Richie pull out a rose on the spot. Then he leans in for a kiss and – uh – she turns the cheek. Afterwards there’s awkward laughter from both of them and they both know what happened. But then they chat some more about how they both love nature and the pash is on. “That was really nice – nice kiss,” he tells her.
The group date starts and they’re going roller derbying. Rachael is very inappropriately dressed in a biker jacket and a black felt floppy hat.


Keira tells the camera: “I’m a princess, I do yoga. I like things that are more relaxed and chilled, like, this is hectic – I’m gonna get a real shock.”
A real roller derby team comes out to show them the ropes and some of the contestants are obviously clueless about how tough the sport is. Osher explains the winning team gets to go to a VIP street party with Richie. What does this mean? They’re going to the alley behind the roller rink to sink a few coldies?
The girls are now all dressed the same in teeny tops and shorts, so it makes it even harder to tell some of the blondes apart. But then Richie reveals the twist: they’re going to be wearing sumo suits. He looks super puppy dog excited to be wearing his.


I reckon Bacon Girl and Tolyna won’t be afraid to jab a few elbows in.
Keira thinks girls just pretend to like sport. She’s soon flat on her back on the floor, kicking like a sprayed cockroach. And then actually does a good job when it’s her turn. Not a lot else happens, until Tolyna breezes past the competition to win victory for blues.
Red Keira is just glad it’s all over, and tells the camera, cracking up: “Some of the girls were like: This is the best fun I’ve ever had. And I was like: Who are you? What do you do outside of this?” Good call, Keira. Roller derbying in a sumo suit ain’t my idea of a fun date.
Turns out the street party is another part of the roller rink set up with party lights, couches made out of milk crates and a few retro food trucks. It gives Richie the chance to have some speed dates, where he finds out Cinderella Janey isn’t competitive.


Tiffany is worried she’s going to spew at every rose ceremony and Tolyna has super intense eyes but isn’t good at Bachie sound bytes. It’s super awkward but at least she’s upfront about not wanting kids yet.
Before the rose ceremony, the girls are speculating whether Alex will use the white rose. Of course she will! Sophie gets a bit of air time and she’s barely recognisable in a different hairdo, but she seems to have the lowdown on the Richie and Megan kissing action. “Yuk – I don’t want sloppy seconds,” blurts Keira sporting a bizarre caterpillar-like mega earring.
Megan returns from a chat with Richie to discover everyone now knows they kissed. “It’s stupid – you can kiss whoever the bleep you want,” Marja tells her.
Alex apparently promised not to use the white rose but Richie whisks her off to their hideaway anyway. There’s a lot of talk among the girls about etiquette. Rachael tells the camera they’re not in high school and are adults, then says: “We’re pissed off.” Yep, good adulting, Rachael.


Hardly any air time tonight for the ravishing Olena or white-haired Nikki – or the loopy singer lady or brunette Georgia or Faith – but they are no doubt safe.
Osher delivers the sad news that three girls will be taken out the back and shot tonight.
Richie gives the last rose to Eliza, the singer, so Tiffany the Planker is going home – but we don’t really know why – along with Janey and Tolyna.
Sasha weeps buckets of tears for Tolyna.


Bye, girls.

Bye, girls.

tiffany

tolyna

Tomorrow night
Faith plays water polo with Richie, using her boobs to try and drown him, while Keira goes on a group date but then seems to get alone time with Richie while wearing an over-the-top ballgown.



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38 Comments

  1. it’s bugging me since last week but I think I’ve cracked it. Is Rachel not a Jo Stanley (from breakfast radio) doppelganger? Olena also looks like Cara Delevingne I think…

  2. Two observations, at this juncture …

    1. Gee, Richie is racking up the pash count. Still, look at that face. I don’t blame the girls for jumping on that ride.

    2. Keira just seems to hate … everything. Like, everything that happens, Keira doesn’t like it, and has no problem going on and on about it. I can’t shake the feeling that she would’ve done much better applying for MKR.

  3. I am not betting on Olena to be the final pick. She is the prettiest girl by far but she is too smart for Bachie Richie. Maybe she’ll be the next (after next) Bachelorette?

  4. What is it with Kiera licking her top teeth all the time. Does she think they are going to fall out? Or does all that filler in her lips make her top lip stick to her new veneers?
    I really hope she stays until almost the end. I am enjoying her sniping from the peanut gallery.

    • Yep, I was just reading to see who was the first to mention Keira’s constant denture swiping. It makes her look more bitchy. Like a cat licking its lips.

    • Some body language books might explain Keira’s exposing and licking of teeth as trying to exert dominance and a kind of pack aggression. Then again that could all be bollocks and she’s just keeping the lips clear of lipstick.

      Someone apparently ruins Keira’s fairytale date with Bachie, according to what I’m seeing on Ten today. I’ll have five bucks on Alex.

      Keira’s okay. The show needs her.

  5. I’m with you Bob, Kiera is totally entertaining.
    A lot of them are bland blonde after bland blonde.
    Alex is totally competitive for Tricky Ritchie’s attention.

    All the sour puss faces when they don’t get picked. Classic!

  6. I heart Kiera big time! Totally enjoying her comments.
    Channel 10 have really pushed the boat out this year with helicopters and cranes.

  7. Tiffany went home. That surprised me. I thought the WA connection (and the blond highlights) would keep her in.
    Sorry to see Cinderella go. And who was the other? Never mind. Most of them blend into each other anyway.
    It would be interesting to know how he makes these decisions. Does he discuss it with the producers first? Draws them out of a hat? He must know his final five (or so) by now. After all, we do.

  8. Not sorry to see cutsie poosie Cinderella go. Can’t stand cutsie pootsie behaviour on anyone over 2.
    Yep, Keira is making a few good swipes. I did like, “Who are these girls?” over the roller derby because I wouldn’t have thought it was my best eva either. Then again, I don’t think dangling in a cage is very exciting either. That was silly.
    I think my favs are Megan and Olena. Megan for overall looks and personality and Olena for being herself and her serene beauty. But Sasha’s personality is winning me over too. Not a fan of Kiki’s looks. Too centrefoldish. And Alex strikes me as a seductress who has probably stolen a few friend’s bfs.

  9. Tolnya blew her chances with her conversation. I don’t want kids. I don’t open up. Better to focus on the dos not the don’ts. And then, “Let’s go back” What????

    • Tolnya’s 32 and doesn’t want kids. She can wait til she’s 62 now. No dramas.

      I’d be thinking twice about having kids with Mr Gormless with the motorcycle “passion” , too.

      Agree with Bob above. Olena is way too smart for Bachie.

  10. I just can’t get into this. Watched something else and flicked over to see who was gone. Maybe because I’ve read so much about the smell emanating from Richie but to me he looks a bit grubby (dirty) – maybe it’s the unshaven look. Just me, sorry.

    • Batchie Ritchie is not my cup of tea. I am sure he is a very nice man but his nose and chin are too pointy. I know that is personal and not his fault but it’s always there.
      I watch for Kiera and her Tongue Of Disapprval (quoting from Jo Thornely).

      • She makes a good villain. She is probably like that too. I would hang out with megan and go to the beach, or Sacha and do something silly. Eliza and Cinderella wd annoy me. Kiki is too cheesy. Bacon girl, Noni seems OK. And I think yoga girl, Marji (or somthing) seems interesting.
        I wd steer clear of Keira, Eliza, Cinders and Alex.

        • oh yes totally agree Daisy – Keira would be a totally awful person to have in your group, but she is provided much needed entertainment and commentary on the show. . .

      • I get that Keira’s great for entertainment value, but I just don’t think she’s going to find what she’s looking for on “The Bachelor”. She wants nothing more than some one-on-one time with her suitor, which is a fair enough request … but has she not watched the show before? I feel like she’s gone on the Amazing Race but is shocked that she needs a passport.

        • Keira is now complaining about the nasty things said about her on SM.

          I am not sure why they go on reality shows. They all should know by now SM can be very mean

          • Keira could win a million dollars and still find something about the experience she didn’t like. That’s just Keira, I think.

  11. Ritchie is busy pashing every girl in the single dates.

    The real Alex is slowly coming out. Not as sweet as she want us to believe.

    Faith is looking more lovely now.

    • Yeah, he’s really working his way through the group. Is there a girl he hasn’t made out with, yet? Damn son. Slow down a little.

    • “You look amazing…. I really like you……..” then Richie goes in for the pash. No smelling the roses for him.

  12. So meanwhile, Richie gets his shirt off (again, thankfully), and Faith steps up as a surprisingly solid guess for the final 4.

    Was it me, or was there a touch of cruel irony that the Cinderella girl was eliminated last night … and one day later, the girls all head to a genuine honest-to-goodness castle for a princess/ballroom-themed date?

    I agree, I think Alex is losing her niceness and a becoming a little pettier.

    Keira did look amazing in the gown, but her parting comment (“I suppose I’m never getting a single date!”) was in poor taste, she must’ve realised that. I loved how the girls all went back to the wo-mansion and started gossiping about her. I particularly liked how the girls all probably figured out that Richie was using the opportunity to actually suss her out.

    As for the alleged fight between Singing Girl and Keira, maybe Eliza should’ve tried singing at her?

  13. Noooo! Poor Sophie. We spent maybe 10 seconds with her, over the course of four episodes. I really wanted her to stick around.

    And Yoga Instructor Girl! I liked her! I already miss her. Damn it Richie.

  14. Two brunettes have been sent home. What a surprise.
    Fairly soon they will all be so similar, Batchie Ritchie will have to have hourly consultations with the producers to tell the girls apart.

    • I can’t fault the man for liking blonds, but still. You have to say that Georgia and Eliza are gonna run out of roses sooner rather than later.

  15. IMO the girls are playing moral police on each other. Eliza stepped up to play Judge Judy and got shot down. Lotta moralizing from Eliza.

    And when someone politely says, “Not now”, it’s not now. It was funny when Kiki told Eliza, “We’ve got your back”. I think that translated too, “We wanna see a catfight”.

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